3 smelly I make my boys have time out, take toys away and other stuff, but these things can't always be implemented - I can't allow my son to sit on the stairs for 9 mins for not putting his shoes on when we are already running late!!!
counting to three or ten is actually proven to be inefficient, it just allows you to build up more anger and the kids quickly learn that there's always another number to add on...
if you want to count it's much better to countdown, much more dramatic for them as nothing comes after zero, so they have to take it seriously!
reward charts always start out well, but I personally forget about them after a while, so it doesn't work for me...
lily15 I find that it's much better to start a 2-way communication, kids jut want to be in control of something, opposing the parent (teacher etc) is just a way of testing who's in charge.
so it's best to let them say what they want, then agree on things they can be in charge of or responsible for and explain what is not for them to decide.
my 9 year old and I recently agreed that when we are in a rush in the morning to get to school on time, he just has to do what I say, there's no time for discussion and any arguments I'll have to ignore (I have to get 6 kids out the door on time!) - but when we have time we should have chats and I'll listen to his thoughts and opinions more carefully and if there's a problem we can figure out together what to do.
it worked!!!!!
he's much better now at listening to me and if he's about to throw a tantrum in the morning I just calmly say "remember it's rush time, now you have to listen, so let's chat after school when mummy has time to listen to you" - - and he's so happy and just grins and gets ready really quickly! and I make sure he can tell me whatever he wants when all is calm.
in fact a couple of times I managed to ask if there was anything important for me to know before we start getting ready to go, he normally says he'd like me to tickle his feet for a few minutes which I gladly do....so sweet!