Please help, need advice quickly!

[vwvic]

I could really do with a bit of help with this one. Whilst out shopping my 6 yo dd picked up a packet of chewing gum and put it in her pocket. She then brought it home, slipped off upstairs to under her bed and proceeded to eat the lot. I caught her in the act, but despite this she tried to lie to me and tell me she was just sitting.

I'm mortified, dh and I are honest people, and have tried to teach our childern right from wrong. So far, we thought we'd done a pretty good job. I can't believe she has stolen something, and then lied about it. So now I'm not sure exactly how hard to come down on her. I feel she should go back to the shop, and tell the manager what she did, and offer to make it as right as she can. On the other hand, I worry that they would call the police, which would be rather traumatic for her I'm sure.

Please help, any advice is welcome.

When I was 10 or 11 we were away on holiday in Tenerife. I stole a bracelet from a shop but my parents never realised until we'd walked back to the apartment. When they found out they give me a real telling off and we all had to walk the mile back to the shop and I was made to hand over the bracelet to the shop owner (I assume). It was obviously very embarrassing for both me and my parents. I learnt my lesson, I never stole again. If i'm in the same predicament as you I would be taking my child back to the shop, to tell the truth and to pay for the chewing gum. I'd be very shocked if they called the police. They never got your child stealing, you are owning up to it

Sorry, the end is meant to say they never caught your child....

I would also be really surprised if they called the police since you are being honest and trying to use this as a learning experience for your young child.

I would walk her back to the shop and ask her to make ammends. Perhaps she could borrow the money from you to pay for the gum and then 'earn' it back? Try not to be too mortified. Your DD is still young and just testing the waters. Better that she do this at 6 than at 16. HTH.

That's pretty much the conclusion I was coming to. Right then, off to the shops again it is. Thanks for the support.

vwvic,having read what happened I would say you have done a great job of raising your dd. The fact that she knew she had done wrong (as shown by the fact tht she lied about it) shows that you have instilled good morals in her. Unfortunately even the best behaved/brought up kids do take things that aren't theirs, but it's the knowing it's wrong that I feel is really important.
I can't really say whether you should go back to the shop or not, but suggest she should be given two punishments - one for stealing and one for lying. As long as you are really clear about why she is being punished twice. hopefully she will get the message.

(BTW When I was about 6/7 I took 2p from my Mum and went to the local shop and bought a tuppenny bag of sweets, that I then ate behind the bin in our garden. I still feel guilty about it now, and I'm 35!)

Don't worry about them calling the police, they would have to be mad. Apart from anything else 6yo are under the age of criminal responsibility so there's nothing the police could do anyway.

Hope it all goes OK at the shop - think you are handling this just right.

If you haven't already been back, it might be worth phoning the shop quietly, and having a word with the manager to explain what has happened. They could then work with you, perhaps handling the situation in the way you wish.

Thought you might like an update. We went back to the shop, and the manager was superb. A very contrite dd1 told him what she did, and then offered to pay for the chewing gum (out of her pocket money). Judging from her reactions, I don't think she'll be doing that again!

Well done .

All's well that ends well... Consider it a learning exerience.