EEEEEK! Think I accidentally made myself look racist...

[Caththerese1973]

Hi
my child's new family daycare person is Malaysian (or at least originally told me she was). But dd, 3, keeps saying 'K is Chinese, K is Chinese'. Today she was even running around K's garden
saying, 'chinese, chinese, chinese...' And so I said 'No, K is Malayasian.' Then, before we said goodbye, I said to K, 'I've told dd you are Malaysian....I hope she doesn't keep trying to tell you that you are Chinese!
And she looked at me blankly and said, 'But I am Chinese. I'm Chinese - Malaysian. You know, like being Asian-American!'
And I felt like such a dufus. As far as I knew, Malaysian people sometimes did like to be taken for Chinese (and vice-versa). I didn't even know there was a category, 'Chinese-Malaysian'.
I feel especially bad about the way I phrased it - ie 'I hope my dd doesn't keep trying to tell you that you are Chinese' - as this sounds like I think there's something wrong with being Chinese!
Ugh!
Should have kept my trap shut. Ironically, I only made this remark to clarify that I wasn't racist (ie, did not endorse the notion that all 'Asians' are more or less the same).
Thank goodness next Tuesday is a holiday and we're not going back for two weeks. Perhaps K will have forgotten my faux-pas by then.
Am I over-reacting to this?

sorry, I meant sometimes as far as I knew Malayasians did NOT like being taken for Chinese, and vice-versa....

Yes you are overeacting, I'm sure she knows you are not racist.

i really don't think you've made a racist comment. I shouldn't think she is bothered about it in the slightest.

I doubt she is that thin-skinned - she works with children

Chill out, the family daycare individual won't give a hoot about it and is probably having a giggle about an over-PC MC person getting their knickers in a twist.

My dh's family is all Chinese Malaysian but will always say they are Chinese from Malaysia, rather than Malaysian. In fact if the truth be told, they would not like to be taken for indigenous Malays, the Bhumiputra, but that's a whole other can of worms.

Someone I work with calls herself Chinese. She was born in Malaysia and has lived in the UK for 30+ years. Her daughter also refers to herself as Chinese.

fret not. I spend my whole life being asked where in scotland i'm from. I'm irish. i don't regard that as rascism and you prob wouldn't be stressing if it was that situation.

Like the others said she works with children and parents like us who in an attempt to be PC come out with real gems sometimes.

Spent yesterday trying to explain to my 2.5er that the man with the eye patch sitting next to us was probably very cool, but not a real pirate as ds excitedly announced to everybody in earshot.

If she's even slightly a reasonable person, she will care (if at all) that you were trying to be accurate. The overseas Chinese I know seem to use both Chinese or Singaporean/British/American/Hong Konger as happens to fit the context.
So much so that some of the people we deal with get called Chinese Chinese.

wouldn't worry about it... of course, according to SaintGeorge, I'm a 'racist, bigotted sonofabitch' so who am I to say...

.... and a minger.

thank you

Honey, I think she'll understand. She doesn't sound as though she were offended. And now you know that she's Chinese-Malaysian and all is well

Honestly, don't beat yourself up.

Would you rather be a racist, bigoted sonofabitch, or a minger? Be honest...

a minger. i've been called many things in my life, but never a racist [starting to get angry emoticon]. load of rubbish.

Yes... don't really understand that one. You may be many things.... but I'd not noticed the racism.:)

i mean... just because i come to work in a white pointy head shroud with holes cut out for the eyes doesn't mean i'm a racist... does it?

No.. you could just be embarrassed about being a minger!!!!

lol!! (very good, very good )

Oh, stop [preen, smirk]

I agree, it doesn't sound too bad. You could explain it to your dd by using being English/Scottish/Welsh/Irish as an example - very close to each other but there are loads of differences too.

My Doctor is Malaysian and we had a long chat about how he isn't allowed into China, it was very interesting (he's lovely )

LOL
dd now wonders if she is 'Chinese'. I considered saying no, we are Australian, but then that seems to imply that K (immigrant daycare worker) is not Australian. So I said, Mummy's people are Irish, and Daddy is half Welsh, so you are 'wirish'.
She seemed to like that!