Mealtime blues - advice please!

[katied73]

Ok, so DD1 (11) became a vegetarian last year, DS1 (almost 8) is a big meat eater and DS3 (4) will barely eat anything. I'm completely at my wits end trying to come up with a meal we can all eat. I visit the supermarket nearly every day because it's a constant struggle to think of what to buy and the thought of trying to shop for the week and come up with 7 meals has me almost in tears. This is not an exaggeration (before anyone has a go) - I was in there today, wandering aimlessly for about 20 mins trying desperately to find something for tea. It's really getting me down and I'm sick and tired of trying to please everyone. To make things worse, DP doesn't agree with DD1 being a veggie and refuses to eat any meat substitute - I think it shows strength of character that she has chosen this path because of her beliefs and am proud of her for sticking to it for so long.

DS2 (4) would literally live on cheese spread or peanut butter sandwiches, beans on toast or pizza if he could. This evening (for example) DD has gone to a friends so I gave the boys mini pasta shells in tomato soup - they've both left it unfinished and now DS2 is asking for pudding, which I'm refusing. He's the biggest problem really as he WILL NOT try anything, especially if it requires chewing. The only fruit or veg he eats is bananas and he rejects the majority of foods on sight. He takes a packed lunch each day (sandwich, fruit juice, yoghurt, small treat) while the other two have school dinners and the whole situation is getting me very down.

Any (constructive) advice would be much appreciated.

Don't try and please them all. Do one main meal and they take it or leave it-don't give alternatives. Do vegetarian batch cooking and freeze so that you always have something on offer. If you go to the library there are plenty of vegetarian cookbooks where you could find something for all.

My 4yo ds is also a complete nightmare with food - he had severe reflux as a baby that caused him so much inflammation he refused to drink milk and was in and out of hospital and tube fed. Once the reflux was better, he had a feeding phobia and didn't start weaning till he was 15 months. His diet consists of sausages, chicken nuggets, potato waffles, yoghurt, and nutella sandwiches. He won't eat any veg and the only fruit he eats is 2 flavours of Hipp baby food which comes in a jar for 4-6 month old babies - rather embarrassing if we are out anywhere but I don't care anymore as it is the only way I get any fruit into him.

It is hard finding time when you have other children I know (I have a 10 week old too), but if you have any time occasionally you could try cooking wth your 4yo as he might be more inclined to try something that he has helped make. A pizza or frittata might be a good option as you could put different toppings on each half - meat on one side (does he like sausage?) and peppers and mushrooms on the other maybe. I managed to get a little toad in the hole into ds as he helped me make it. You could also just make vegetarian meals and do sausages on the side or add some shredded leftover chicken or ham to anything to make ds1 eat it.

Good luck - my heart goes out to you! Try to remember that none of them will adversely suffer if they refuse to eat a meal and go hungry. That's just life! x

Sounds just like my family when we were kids (I'm the oldest and the veggie). Im still a veggie but no one else in the family is.

My mum insisted when I turned veggie (at 8) that I ate fish and I still do. Does your dd eat fish? How about tuna pasta or grilled salmon? Fish fingers?

Dh loves meat so we often have something where I eat the same but slightly different eg bangers and mash with greens but I have veggie sausages. Burgers (again mine are veggie). You can batch cook stuff with veggie mince like bolognese or chilli and freeze individual portions to use. Might have a couple of home made curries one meat one veggie and I'd just have the veggie one. The others have both. Baked potatoes with a selection of toppings?

Home made kebabs - everyone can choose what goes on their kebab eg meat balls, chunks of fish, chunks of veg, halloumi cheese.

I do a lot of cooking though and wedo have a lot of veggie or fish meals and dh has to live with it - I find if its tasty he doesn't complain about the lack of meat.

Good luck!

Ps sorry to say it but tinned tomato soup with pasta in it doesn't sound very appetising

food is such an emotive area and one where children often sense they can make an issue. although it sounds hard I would say try and relax. sit down and write all the meals you would like to serve and a veggie alternate - things like quorn, quinoa, soya protein etc may help to begin with. then alternate one day something they are not so keen on with something they will like. try and ensure you give something they like on the plate and small but healthy snacks and pudding. on another post they suggested the children can gave a bowl of cereal if the refuse the dinner. I would then serve it up, set a time limit, then eat yours up praising them for anything they try. at the end of the time take food away and ignore hunger cries! it is very rare for children to starve themselves so keep a positive exterior. good luck.