When is "delayed speech" actually delayed speech?

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

Hi, I know its New Year and everybody is all busy, but for whose who have nothing else to do, please feel free to soothe my worries about my son.
My son is nineteen months and I am a bit worried about his lack of speaking. He barely says a word, and sometimes when he does say a word (s) he'll suddenly stop saying them, like he refuses to say them.
He seems smart in the sense that if you ask him a question, such as where is his cup, or can he get a car, or does he want something, he knows the answer / will fetch what is being discussed / go to where-ever it is that has what he wants (iyswim). But he doesn't speak.
We have been referred to a community pediatrician because the HV/doctor were concerned about his "delayed speech" as well as the fact he gets very frustrated and headbutts the floor / walls / radiator but that was two months ago and we haven't heard anything as yet.
Has anybody had a child who at 19 months barely speaks but suddenly "rallied" and caught up? Is not speaking at 19 months actually delayed or not?

The head-butting etc is likely to be due to frustration because he can't say what he wants yet. If he is meeting his other milestones and it is just his speech that is delayed, I wouldn't be too worried, to be honest. He can clearly understand what you are saying to him, so it doesn't sound as though there is any major problem. Hopefully the communtity paed appointment will be reassuring for you and your little one will start chatting when he's good and ready.

Are you me??

DS is 19.5 months and says: mama, dada, night night, bye bye, me, more. 6 words. At his age DD was saying about 100 words.

Like yours he gets frustrated and bites things.

Again he understands loads of things really well and communicates, but not through speech!

I appreciate that's no help, but you are not alone!

No words at 2 years old is officially delayed afaik

I know loads of boys that weren't talking at all at 2, the HV just takes a note and checks back in in a few months to see if there's any improvement (and there usually is), so for boys I'd say realistically its more like 2.5, but prob 2 for girls

After 2 but they also look into if the child attempts communication and can understand some communication so I wouldn't worry.

When I say after 2 I mean they might start paying attention but they wouldn't worry until after 2.5/3 if the child is attempting communication.

Two weeks ago, he was happy answering "yes please" to questions such as whether he wanted a pear or shall I change his stinky nappy. Now he refuses to say yes please - just sort of grunts when being asked, making grunting sounds like resemble "yes please".
I don't get "mama" at all. He calls me Emma! Well - that's what it sounds like in my ears anyway :D
We have a video tape of DD at her second Christmas, she would have been 14 months old and she was chattering away like anything. I don't like to compare them, but I've been waiting for more words from him and nothing. I sit down with him and try to teach him words (today, repeating "car", "car" to him as we played with his toy cars).
He does get incredibly frustrated, the headbutting comes when he's tired / agitated or is being asked to stop doing something that he's interested in.

My son is almost 23 months and says mama, gaga for dada, gone , more, bu for bus , ba for bath, and nana. So hardly any. He doesn't seem frustrated though, he can indicate what he wants and i can pretty much guess too.
I do try and get him to say words but he just doesn't seem able to form any proper words. He doesn't even try most of the time.

What to do?

the saying things and then losing the words again could be what has prompted them to refer to paed. otherwise hv and gp like to just wait and see how things go but regression of speech can be a slight red flag
either way its good you have the referral, as these things take time to come through and if he does end up needing it then sooner the better and if not then nothing lost so better safe than sorry.

at 1.5 they are supposed to have about 20 words arent they? cant remember - i know it's 50 and joining words at 2yrs so normally hv will say wait til 2 year check and see how they are getting on then, cos they can progress loads between 1.5-2, but 1.5 is not too young to be able to pick up on an issue like this. one of mine has very delayed speech and i noticed an issue from around this age, as he had quite a few words before and by 18 months he had lost then so based on that slt referred to paed, and yes it is normal that few months go and you dont hear anything but if you want to hurry them up call them and ask any news about his appointment and it normally does speed things up a bit, otherwise can end up getting forgotten about

At 22 months my DS had 2 words, 'up' and 'car' not even mama and dada!!
However he signed, and probably used around 40 signs by that point, so he was communicating quite well. (We only started signing for fun really, but glad I did)

Then suddenly just before 23 months he spoke. It was like someone had found a switch. Within a week he was using 3 word sentences and within a month we couldn't shut him up (at nearly 5 he still has a running commentary on life!).

I had rung the week before Christmas and was told that it was "pending" and in the queue to see the community pediatrician. We'd originally met with a HV and then been referred to the doc the same day, who then put us on the list for the pediatrician. They have some other concerns, the fact he's never slept through the night and often up for hours, the head-butting, the lack of speaking (or forgetting words).

Ds2 was only saying 3 intelligible words at his 18 month check which didn't happen until he was 22 months. He was referred for speech therapy which turns out was held at the library by librarians at 12.30pm. Ds2 always slept at that time no matter where we were so I politely declined. Within 3 months and with no change in our behaviour or input, he was putting together 6 word sentences.

You do sound very concerned though and I can understand why.

Do you have the means to see a paediatrician privately to get the ball rolling (if need be)?

I'm starting to get worried about my dd reading this

She is 2.4 and hardly has any words though can understand everything I say.

She will say "sit down" or "all gone" but her actual words are few and far between she says

Mummy
Hair
Eye
Sarah
Andy
Morning
Poo
Yuck
Jew (juice)
Hiya
Bye

But that's about it, I know she Is slower than her siblings but think I might have to make a appointment with the hv in the new year.

my DS will be 2 next week and doesn't say any words consistently has said the odd word but then doesn't repeat we were concerned at 20 months and contacted the health visitor she wasn't too concerned as he understands a lot and we do baby sign so communicates around 30 words just not with speech. He does get really frustrated though and hits his head etc.
HV referred us to speech therapist with the hope that things would just 'click' and we would cancel once we got tithe top of the list. However we are seeing the speech therapist tomorrow as he has not improved at all.
It is so hard when you see younger babies chatting away and worrying but I'm sure they will just click and we will be wishing they would shut up

Ds didn't have any words at all until he was 2.5 yrs. He then starting speaking in sentences pretty much, but his speech was, and still is very unclear, although it is improving and at least I can now understand him. He started seeing the speech therapist when he was nearly 3, who is working on getting his speech clearer. If you are worried then see if you can get a speech therapy referral. We had to wait a year before they had space to see ds.

DS2 had no words at 2, about 10words at 2.5. He was meant to be referred for speech and language but it never happened . He is now 6 and there is no noticable difference in his speech to anyone elses, it seemed to click with him when he was about 3.5. He is also considered able and talented in literacy so not been held back at all by being a late talker.

Disclaimer: He does have high functioning autism, but unlike your DS he wasn't communicating or following instructions at 2, instead he would throw a massive tantrum if you tried to interact with him at all.

DS has been assessed as having moderate speech delay by the SALT in November when he was 2.2 and had approximately 10 words. He is awaiting 1-1 play therapy sessions which will be sometime next month I think (no appt yet). I was worried about his speech at 14 months as that was when he said his first word and took advantage of the self-referral SL assessments offered round here between 20 and 26 months. I'm glad I did, despite DH and other family saying things like 'Boys are always late speaking' and 'he'll get it in the end'.

He has improved a lot in the last 2 months, has much more communication and attempts at many more words but he does not say anything very clearly yet and certainly doesn't attempt to put 2 words together. I know that I have done the best thing for him by asking for help before he reaches the age where it becomes a real problem.

My dd2 is now 3.5. At 24 months she had 8 words and was classed as delayed and referred for salt however they wouldn't give her any sessions other than initial assessment as they said her u.derstanding was excellent. She caught up at 35 months and her speech is now above average in some areas but she does have some social issues

I saw the speech therapist this morning who says DS has delayed speech which was expected she agreed his communication is excellent and confirmed we are doing everything we should he has been referred for an early communication skills group he will be 2 next week and I am glad I got him in the system as he says no words and was if the opinion if he improved it was easier to remove him than get him in with waiting lists. Still may be a while before he gets into the classes as they are small with limited places.
I have been advised to carry on with one to one play and describing things all the time. The biggest take away was to hold objects to my mouth when naming them so he can see how my mouth moves.
Hope this helps others good to hear most DCs do well even if a bit late.

I do think lots of children have a huge language leap around age 2 though. My ds was saying very little at 19 months and I felt a bit concerned. He is now nearly 2 and chattering away. Obviously take all professional advice offered but at the same time try not to stress as it is very likely he will have a language boom over the next few months (admitting now I am certainly no speech and language expert...)

At 18 month check last month they said that apparently an 18 month old should be saying 6 words. That's it. We just about do that here ( mama/ ball/ up/ more/ and a bunch of half words and animal noises!) they were happy and said he was on track

I would try not to worry about your child if he is able to understand and communicate. My son said his first word at 19 months. He had 6 words by 22 months. He is now 26 months, and speaks is full sentences. While some children may not catch up before they are 2, or even 3, the vast majority will. I wish I had not spent 6 months of my sons life worrying.

in our area you can self refer to speech therapy although when I spoke to speech therapists at work unless there are other concerns they don't worry until they are 2 and a half. however I knew ds1 had a speech problem from before he was two and was fobbed off by hv and luckily met speech therapist by chance when she was doing a group session. although she diagnosed a delay and gave us activities to do I knew there was more. eventually she diagnosed a speech disorder and we had more sessions. my advise if you are concerned keep asking different people until you are satisfied. in nhs, social services and education money and time are tight so you have to push. also it may be nothing but if it is something then the earlier you get the support the better