Worried about fearful child

[Mandy03]

I am really starting to get concerned about my 3 yr old son. He seems to have become very fearful about things and it doesn't seem to matter what I say to him to appease him. For instance, last week he got a tiny cut on the palm of his hand (which bled a bit but healed up very quickly), and for the next two days he obsessed about it - even woke up during the night to ask me if his hand was ok. I mean, it was a TINY cut - he used to be the kind of child that would run around, fall over and hurt himself, then get straight back up and keep going.

The latest thing is that we were having dinner last night and I was explaining (lightheartedly) about how the food goes down into his tummy, goes through his body and comes out the other end - very simple discussion. All of a sudden he started clutching his tummy, crying and saying that he wanted to sit on the potty NOW. He walked around with his hands on his tummy - very agitated - and kept asking me if he was ok. Something in my explanation obviously frightened him, but it is something we have talked about before and it's never worried him before now. I just don't understand his over-the-top fearful reactions of late, and TBH I am worried about him. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Would really appreciate some advice.

Anyone...? I just want to know if fear like this is normal at his age, or if I may have something to worry about. Is his 'obsessing' about some things normal? I'm really quite concerned.

How long has he been like this? Does sound more likely to be phase than anything. They have these spurts of awareness, being overwhelmed by everything & then settling down, again.

Zebra, I've only noticed it in the last couple of weeks. Prior to this he had all the normal little fears like spiders etc, but would forget about things quickly. Now it seems to stick in his mind.

My father has just told me that he took ds for a swim the other day, and ds tried to drink the pool water... my dad (probably a bit foolishly) said "Don't drink the pool water, it will make you sick." So ds spent the entire day asking my parents "Am I sick? Am I sick?". It's like we really have to watch what we say to him now.

Mandy, is he just three or nearly four? I just wondered, because as Zebra says, children go through developmental surges where they suddenly become much more fearful of things that might happen to them, or to people they love, and this is very normal. The big one tends to happen between four and five, which is why I wondered about your son's age.
It's very distressing for parents when your previously carefree, almost callous little toddler suddenly starts emoting about falling down the plughole, being eaten by monsters under the bed, as well as talking about more plausible fears like being run over or grandma dying. I remember feeling that a very definite part of ds' early childhood was over when he went through this stage.
I would guess that in line with every other developmental issue, some children feel these transitions more acutely and articulate their fears more urgently. We tried never to dismiss ds' fears, even when they were really illogical, and also tried always to reassure him that it is OK and normal to feel scared or sad about other issues like people dying, and OK to talk about it to us and ask us questions. At the same time we did also reassure him that it is unlucky and unusual to get run over by a car and it can (almost 100%) be prevented by being sensible in the road etc. In other words, even small children can take their own action to reduce risk and sad things happening.
HTH.

My DS is 2.5 - he is just recently similarly sensitive. We were eating tea the other evening and his gran light-heartedly said "you're not going to eat all that are you, your tummy will explode !" - he immediately put down his fork and would not touch another piece of food. It took us ages to persuade him she was joking.

He also had caught his little toe nail and had to have it cut off, he then spent 3 days taking his sock off, kissing his toe better, and demanding cream on it because he had a "hole in his toe" - this was the comment grandad made when he cut off the nail.

They are becoming aware of the world around and take things you say very literally. We are just trying to be very aware and careful of what we say. I guess it is also their imagination kicking in.

Marina he's 3 1/2, will be turning 4 in the middle of the year.