When -- and how!-- do you talk about where babies come from?

[twogirlsandaphd]

My 5.5 yo DD is asking me how babies are made. She knows how they are born ("out of your front bum, ewwwwww!") but I dont know that I want her traipsing off to school with a biologically accurate description of how they are concieved just yet... Any ideas?!

I have been talking about how babies are made with DD who is 4.5 for as long as I (and she!) can remember, in the hope that we don't have to have an excruciatingly embarrassing Talk when she is 9 or 10. At the moment I just talk about daddies having a seed and mummies having an egg, and daddies giving the mummy the egg. She then knows that babies grow in your tummy. We haven't got into the mechanics of how the daddy gives the mummy the egg yet ! She also knows a very basic amount about periods.

I am trying to follow the theory of answering any questions she has in an age-appropriate way, which seems to be ok for now.

Funnily enough she knows two couples who are having / have had babies recently in a non-traditional way, and so I am waiting for her to ask how my (female) cousin's (female) partner had their baby (donor IVF) or how another friend and her husband are having their baby (surrogacy but with their sperm and egg)! But I would answer that in a basic way if she asked.

My two older dc asked when I was pregnant with the next one (both age 3yo). I told them that daddy put a seed in me and it went into a special egg I had inside me and made a baby.
Ds (my dc3) read it in a fact book last year when he was just 5yo, and came and told me with great delight, with a lot of "guess what, I bet you don't knwo this!", apparently it hadn't occurred to him I might know.

Interestingly for dd1 and dd2 (age 12 and 9)the seed into me was enough information until about 3 or 4 weeks ago when dd2 asked me in the car exactly how daddy put the seed into me. I told them and dd1 said "oops I got that question wrong on my test"-she'd been doing sex education in biology , and dd2 said "you mean it's not when you kiss?"
Then they both went "eww... yuck!"

I guess I don't have to worry about grandchildren for the time being

Tell them wen they ask ans what they ask. There are loads of great books to help if u need it. Dnt ever fib to them about it, they need to knoew the truth but in a way you know they can understand

The simple answer to your question is that there isn't an age that you start. rather you always let it be part of the conversation. And you tell them everything they need to answer the questions they ask. At an age appropriate level, but using proper vocab.

So my kids have always known and it is just part of their knowledge and isn't an issue.

I cannot imagine that going to school knowing where babies come from is going to surprise anyone.

There is a very funny book called Mummy Laid an Egg by Babette Cole. It tells everything in a funny child friendly way. My 5 year old loves it, and reads it like any opther book on the shelf. My ds though (aged 10) giggles uncontrollable when I read it to dd and that tell syou he is too late to get this information new, so I am really glad he has known it since he was a toddler!

I think you answer based on the question being asked. So does a baby get in your tummy is what my dd asked. So I told her a mummy has an egg and a daddy has a sperm and they have sex and the sperm tuns the egg into a embryo which then develops into a foetus and develops into a baby and grown in the womb. A little like a seed grows.

She then asked what sex is so I told her using correct vocabulary and a little more biology about the egg splitting. She is now 6 and the explanation has developed as her questions have developed. I say be honest and truthful as children tend to know if the answer is not accurate, in my experience they will continue to question untill they are given an adequate explanation.

All as above - simple, answer questions, ask what she thinks about things.

Btw do you use the actual term front bum yak or was DD just describing her vagina for the purpose of the babies being born conversation?

Thanks- I wasn't really prepared for the conversation, so didn't really know how much detail she was looking for at the time. I said 'Daddy puts a seed inside mummy and it grows into a baby' but she replied, 'well that can't be true, how would he get the seed in there?!'. But then she left the room and didn't ask any more questions. I suppose I'll just wait until the next time it comes up and give her as much info as she wants in a matter-of-fact way. I don't want her ending up like me when, at age 9, my mum had my sister and I honestly thought babies came out of your belly button... ha ha!

...and yes, she calls it her 'front bum'- seems to be the accepted terminology amongst her friends so that's what she uses. She knows it's actually called a vagina though!

My dd knows the correct words but still says bum for everything for girl and winky for a penis

I like 'winky'! Mine say willies and bums.