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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

WWYD let 2yo go without or make something else??

20 replies

lollipoppi · 29/12/2012 17:49

My 2yo has always had a very good appetite, always eaten what has been put in front of him. But recently he has stopped eating anything "homemade" like spag Bol, lasagna, beef casserole, chicken & veg, he won't even eat the potatoes anymore weather they are mashed boiled or roasted? He used to love all these things but just point blank refuses to even entertain picking up his fork to try them
now!
DP thinks he should get what he is given or go without, I'm a little softer than that and don't want him to go to bed hungry, if he generally doesn't like the food I'm giving him
He has just refused his lasagna, but I know if I went and made fish fingers beans and smily faces he would wolf it down .......... WWYD let him go without or make something else??

I should also say, he has been unwell (with a
cold) but this is a general day to day thing

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JingleJohnsJulie · 29/12/2012 20:40

The thought of them going to bed hungry can be really tough but I would not offer an alternative or he will play you for years. If he was hungry he would eat your food, you know he likes it, he's eaten it for ages. Think he is exerting some independence and seeing where no gets him.

If he does refuse dinner and go to bed without, he'll soon realise its that or nothing, just keep calm. Like most things with children it usually takes 3 days for the penny to drop that you mean it.

At this age you should always look at what they've eaten over a week rather than a single meal or even a day anyway, it can just be so variable.

zapotek · 29/12/2012 20:42

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1646473-DS-will-only-eat-fishfingers-for-his-dinner-help

See this similar thread on which I have responded. There may be something that will help you.

JingleJohnsJulie · 29/12/2012 20:45

Just realised that DS will be in bed by now, what did you decide in the end?

alittlebithohoholy · 29/12/2012 20:50

Hi, DD is 22 months and has days when she's just not interested in sitting through a meal with us. Normally I play it by ear so if she's eaten well the rest of the day I leave her to it. If I don't think she's eaten much I usually offer her a yoghurt or banana before bed.

BrokenBananaTantrum · 29/12/2012 20:51

DD has always had the choice to eat what has been cooked or a bowl of cereal. I refuse to cook two different things but the offer of cold cereal is always available. 99.9% of the time she eats what has been cooked but occasionally especially if a bit poorly will choose cereal. Would this work for you?

Sirzy · 29/12/2012 20:53

I make sure each meal had something he liked and would eat on it even if its an odd combination- so serve 1 or 2 smiley faces with the lasagne - but then don't make an alternative if he doesn't eat it.

RubyrooUK · 29/12/2012 20:55

Well, my DS is two and his food habits change weekly. Today he ate fish fingers and cucumber for lunch but refused his mash. He then ate a chilli for dinner made with beef, spices and lots of vegetables.

Yesterday he basically ate toast. Refused the same chilli and also baked beans. And peas.

I don't make him go to bed hungry (as he always wakes up) but offer him something that is not super alluring. For example, a piece of toast. Or occasionally porridge. He likes toast and porridge but wouldn't kill for it like he would for Cheerios or ice cream or biscuits. So I don't feel it's a reward as such.

But I'm pretty relaxed about his eating as it seems more affected by random mood than likes or dislikes. So I reckon I'll just keep offering god meals and hope for a decent hit rate in the end.

(I was a fussy vegetable-hating child who drove her mother insane with her eating habits yet now loves all vegetables.)

RubyrooUK · 29/12/2012 20:56

Good meals, sorry, not god meals. I wouldn't elevate my rubbish cooking skills quite that high.

Cheesemonkey · 29/12/2012 20:57

Does he do this for both lunch and dinner, or just one meal? My 2yo is often like this at dinner time ( with him he would happily have sausage and beans), yet will eat anything for lunch. I've not been pandering to it and he still sleeps through the night. I've come to the conclusion he's probably not that hungry in the evening.

LittlePandaBear · 29/12/2012 21:18

I bribed my 26 mth DD this evening to eat her cottage pie that she was refusing. She wanted to watch Peppa Pig so I said she could watch it if she ate some of her dinner. She eventualy agreed, as long as she could sit on DH's lap and he helped to feed her! Then she ate loads and shovelled it in herself once she realised it was nice after all!

She's not normally that fussy and has a good appetite in general so hopefully I haven't started a life with Peppa Pig at mealtimes...

Bessie123 · 29/12/2012 21:22

Both my dcs became fussier at age 2. I used to worry more but now I think, if they are hungry they will eat. I give them 1 or 2 choices and they eat or they don't.

MaryChristmaZEverybody · 29/12/2012 21:28

The secret is variety.

If he is being picky, offer him a plate with lots of different healthy things on it. He will eat something.

So rather than just lasagna, offer a plate with some pasta, a bit of lasagna, some chopped fruit/veg, a bit of brown bread and butter, maybe the odd fish finger/nugget, but mainly lots of different things.

If you do that for a number of days you will find out if he has any genuine dislikes and can avoid them.

But don't be tempted to have only two alternatives - the initial "healthy" meal and the "I'm desperate for him to eat" crap (fish fingers, nuggets, chips etc). Because given that choice, which would you go for?

zapotek · 29/12/2012 21:29

Be careful about the things you do to get them to eat. I was alwauys worried about what and how much my DC were eating. I did encourage them a lot but did try and stay flexible.
They will pick up on how important food is to uyouy so don't let it become a battle.

If my DD (5) is upset with me because I won't give into one of her proposterous demans (not food related) she will often say "Well I won't eat my dinner then"

Such is the power food holds- don't let it happen to you.

Original poster

lollipoppi · 29/12/2012 21:35

Thanks for your responses, I caved and offered soup and buttered bread ...... He just ate the bread (better than nothing I suppose)
Maybe it's just a phase (another one ) I will keep offering home cooked meals and hope he will pass through it, he is definatly showing lots of independence and trying (his best) to push boundaries at the moment.

He is a strapping lad so I'm not too worried if he skips a few meals. I just wish he would eat something more nutritious sometimes as I know he likes the food he is just being fussy!! X

OP posts:

Bessie123 · 29/12/2012 21:39

As other posters have said, don't make too big a deal out of your ds eating or it will become a power struggle

Original poster

lollipoppi · 29/12/2012 21:48

Thanks guys, just re-read through your responses and i most definatly don't want meal time to become a battle ground! I wouldn't shout at him for not eating his tea, although it is frustrating

He has asthma, so when he gets poorly and ends up in hospital or on steroids he goes right off his food so I just want him to be well fed in preparation for the next episode I suppose

OP posts:

JingleJohnsJulie · 29/12/2012 22:08

Don't think the battleground refers to shouting, it can be a battle with you coaxing, cajoling and offering alternatives and him refusing to eat because it gets him more attention or something more favourable to eat or both.

Bessie123 · 30/12/2012 01:19

In my experience once small children see they can exercise power in a situation, they will do it. If that is through not eating, they will not eat.

3smellysocks · 01/01/2013 21:22

We have fantastic eaters who love their food. They eat adult type meals as we have only ever given them what we eat. Never offered an alternative but also never made an issue out of not eating. We are very much of the attitude - heres your tea, eat it if you like or don't if you don't want to. You can have it later if you are hungry. I'll put it to one side and just tell me if you want it

lumpychristmaspud · 02/01/2013 17:55

I just came on here to start this exact same thread!! ds is 2.4 and for about the last 4 weeks has been doing the same. sometimes I loose it and we fall out! other times like tonight I stay completely calm and he looses it!!

he says he doesn't want it so I take it away and he screams that he wants it. I give it back, he doesn't want it, I take it away he screams. you get the idea!! eventually tonight, I put it in the bin because he was clearly not going to eat it and he had the most awful tantrum!! I'm not going to give him anything else but feel bad that he's not really had anything.

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