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22 month developed sudden fear of dark/cot

3 replies

RTyndel · 28/12/2012 12:25

My 22 month old has suddenly become seemingly terrified of his cot. He is a lovely but high maintenance child who needs a lot of stimulation but he has always been good about going to bed. He needs his sleep or he becomes very unhappy and cranky. I am guessing this has come about due to the birth of my 5 week old son but now he screams when put it to the for. He used to ask to go to bed and snuggle straight down. We have a bedtime routine which we are still doing but we are having to try Jo frosts' technique of sitting in room and averting eye contact which seems to work. I got him a new soft colour changing lamp which he likes but doesn't seem to make him less scared. He wakes up terrified that we are not there. Any tips please? Thank you in advance. Worried how I will cope eith both when hubby back at work.nect week - it was hard enough before but now he is more tired he is becoming more fractious and tricky.

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Cheshirebabywhisperer · 28/12/2012 17:45

Sounds like your DS is testing the boundaries and become clingy. He sounds a sensitive little boy and may have sensed the change to his world. My DD was 2 when I had my second DD and I rushed her sleep times so I could get back to looking after my new born.
22 months is a very challenging age. He might be independent and find his cot too confining. A little bed might help!
If the Jo Frost sleep approach is not working any more try another one. If he can learn to drift to sleep on his own without seeing you he will not wake up terrified that you are not there. He needs to make a sleep attachment to his room and bed and not be reliant on you to help him to sleep. Does he have a comforter or teddy or dummy? You need a bargaining tool to encourage him to lie down peacefully, only give comforter when he is lying down, and then read story to calm and relax him.
My DD didn't have a milk at bedtime but some fromage frais instead then her bath then straight into her cot for her comforter and story.I took DD's dummy and teddy away when she cried to get out of the cot, I gave it back to her after one min as a reward for lying down ... it worked. She went to sleep on her own.
Sleep is so important when you have two babies.

noseynoonoo · 28/12/2012 17:54

What? Cheshire you punished your child for crying by removing her comforting dummy and teddy? Why? I am finding your 'advice' increasingly concerning.

OP - I think Jo Frost might be part of the solution. Your DS used to be the centre of your world (in his head anyway). Now there is a usurper and when you are in his room you don't make eye contact with him.

We had a very similar age gap and a very similar scenario. As a breastfeeder I was kind of required by my DC2 so DH spent a lot of time comforting DC1 at night. DH worked long hours but still put in the effort at night time - and we were both cranky but we agreed that whatever we said at night-time we would choose to forget during the day. We got through it and we still like each other (!)

Things will settle down honestly and I think most parents go through this. Unfortunately almost every expert advice book out there assumes you have only one child and it is so much more difficult trying to juggle more than one.

Good luck!

rhlsmith · 28/12/2012 20:31

Yes you are right he is a very sensitive boy and sudden sounds have always unnerved him. It all just seems heightened recently,

He loves his monkey and dummy that stay in bed and is pleased to see him but don't think I could bear to take them away... He loves them so much! If he ever gets up they stay there.

Yes you are right - he certainly wants our attention and we were rushing beftime a bit especially as I was I'll at end of pregnancy and post birth. We are giving him more story time again and moved bath earlier to help with calm bedtime routine . I just feel fearful - so behind with everything and really won't be able to be this accommodating sitting in his room next week but suppose I will have to take him for a walk instead. So shattered - just heard husband leaving room . Fingers crossed (!) not ideal x thanks for helping me. So appreciative all suggestions welcome. Really don't want to control cry him

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