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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

7mo crying and wanting to be picked up...what's the consensus?

19 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 27/12/2012 10:14

I'm really starting to get 'you're spoiling him' from the family, including DH, when I pick 7mo DS up to stop him crying (during the day, if he's had enough of playing by himself or whatever - not if he's trying to sleep). We're talking annoyed 'pick me up' arms outstretched cry here, not anything distressed.

I just don't know what to think anymore. If I pick him up when that's clearly what he wants, am I on a slippery slope to misbehaviour? Is there any merit to the 'he has to learn' argument at this age?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

maresedotes · 27/12/2012 10:16

At 7 months I would say pick him up. He isn't misbehaving, he's a baby.

TeamBacon · 27/12/2012 10:21

Pick him up.

Reacting to his cues and giving him more reassurance, not less, is what will result in a happier baby.

Leaving him to cry is just miserable for all concerned

Graceparkhill · 27/12/2012 10:23

Follow your instincts and pick him up. I did this and DS1 is now 20 with no ll effects!

firawla · 27/12/2012 11:35

noooo - he's 7 months that's very young. why do they actually want you to ignore him, what is it that he "has to learn"?? its nothing to do with misbehaviour, he is little, he wants his mum and you pick him up and reassure him - its not the same as giving into tantrums or anything like that!
they do grow out of it eventually, and its such a small time really that they are like this, i would just listen to your instinct and pick him up, and ignore the comments.

insancerre · 27/12/2012 11:41

pick him up. Your relatives are wrong. it is crucial for a baby's brain develoment to feel nutrured and secure. It actually helps the brain (and therefore intelligence and personality and emotions) connect all the pathways together. There are critical times for this, such as when a baby is very young.
So pick him up, he needs it.
if they don't believe you buy them Why Love Matters by Sue Gerthard www.whylovematters.com/

Wheresmycaffeinedrip · 27/12/2012 11:41

Pick him up! :)

blossombath · 27/12/2012 11:44

Pick him up, they're just jealous of the lovely baby cuddles. He is much too young to manipulate or misbehave, he just wants mum.

milkybrew · 27/12/2012 11:46

Pick him up! I had the same nagging from my family when DD was younger, I ignored and she's turned out just fine! They are only little for such a short time, make the most of it! DD is 19 mths and I have to chase her whilst she giggles her head off, to get a cuddle now!

Tee2072 · 27/12/2012 11:47

Pick him up! You can't spoil a baby by loving him too much! No such thing as too much love.

Gingersnap88 · 27/12/2012 11:50

Pick him up! A baby isn't trying to manipulate you, they just want love and reassurance. If you've got stuff to do, pop him in a sling

JugsMcGee · 27/12/2012 14:35

Yep, pick him up! They go through a massive bout of separation anxiety soon (my DS was about 9m and again at 18m) and need to know you're there.

galwaygirl · 27/12/2012 14:41

Pick him up for god's sake- he's 7 months old! What exactly do they want him to learn? That he will be ignored so should just shut up??
And your mention of it not being when he is trying to sleep, do you mean you leave him to cry it out?

RooneyMara · 27/12/2012 14:44

It is so sad that some families still think this way and say these incredibly destructive things

Pick him up,

you cannot spoil a child by responding to their emotional requirements.

Your family is wrong, it's what their folks said to them, it's what they did, but you can break the pattern.

It must be so bloody hard to go against though. Sympathy x

Original poster

ElphabaTheGreen · 27/12/2012 16:08

galwaygirl No I don't leave him to cry it out when sleeping. I just wanted to make it clear that this was a query about general wide-awake fussing so it didn't descend into yet another CC/CIO bunfight!

OP posts:

mummybare · 27/12/2012 16:15

I read somewhere that one way to deal with separation anxiety (which this might be the beginnings of, possibly...) is, rather than to pick him up, to get down to his level and try to play with him/comfort him there. The theory is to encourage independent play, but to still be responsive/ soothe etc.

(Could have been Baby Whisperer, but not sure where I saw it.)

Anyway, that's just a slightly different idea, but if the choice is leave to cry or pick up then, of course, pick up!

sparklekitty · 27/12/2012 17:30

Pick him up.

I had the same thing with my FiL on xmas day. DD was in rocker crying during lunch, I went to pick her up and was told to 'leave her, she has to learn sometime'. She's 3 months old! Needless to say he was ignored and baby was picked up, she stopped crying straight away.

They're still little and cry when they need something, even if thats just a cuddle

iwillsleepagainsomeday · 27/12/2012 17:34

another vote for "pick him up".

FromGirders · 27/12/2012 17:42

Yes, puck him up. As a CM I normally have two bigger children needing attention as well, but I couldn't leave a baby to cry when they need a cuddle. If I need to do something else with my hands, baby goes in a sling and is normally much happier watching things from in there.

juniperdewdrop · 27/12/2012 17:44

He'll be more contented if he isn't ignored. Ignore those who say leave him.

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