I dont quite understand my 2.5 yr old DS.

[Tinytoto]

We are visiting my MIL and staying over for couple of weeks as we are expats and quite lucky to see our families once or twice a year. We encourage that our families get to spend time with our DS. My DH nephew is recently being looked after full time by MIL and this is the first time we have all met him ( family probs). Anyways my DS has totally rejected me at meal times etc as when he sees his grandma or aunty feeding our nephew of 18months, he screams for their attention and wants them to feed him or pick him, play with him. I have also fed my nephew ( helping out with the kids as too much for MiL when two granchildren are fighting for her attention- while cute but exhuasting for her although she enjoys it), my DS is not jelous. Ds either goes to his grandma, aunty or dad.... I was tryig to feed my Ds yesterday in the eve and as I attempted to , he criedout for his aunty who was also giving attention toy nephew, I politely said to my Ds, 'Aunty is busy at the mo, let momy feed u' ...my husband just overrode me by saying 'oh just let my sis feed him, he is tired and i cant be bothered with the fuss'... at that point i said ok and took my dinner to another room. I was upset and I dont know why... maybe feel negleted by my son and now husband ( being practical i know) but i am feeling confused about my sons behaviour towards me. I am a STAHM and he is always with me other than a few hours at nursery during the week.

I don't really understand this either, but I do know that I don't get a look in when auntie or grandpa are around, or pretty much anyone different really. I guess jealousy is natural in children of this age.
No advice really, other than try not to take it personally.

Hopefully someone more knowledgeable than me will be along shortly!

I don't understand why you're feeding a 2.5 yo! He should be feeding himself by now (for a year or more!) Agree with PP - don't take it personally, let him enjoy the attention and the novelty and it'll all settle down when you go back home. And let him feed himself!

when you say feed your 2.5 yr old what do you mean?

he is jealous even rhough you say he is not he screams for there attention? sorry but i wouls not be letting a child dictate thingslike this even at this age.

should also be feeding himself, food cut up raady then leave him to get on with it.

I think that if you all ate at the same time,and let the children feed themselves, you wouldn't have the problem.

Yes I agree to have dinner together but since it is not my house, I cant tell my in laws what to do!

Yes 2.5 yr old should be feeding himself but He loses interest after a few spoonfuls and just will go hungry and not eat. His weight is boderline and am worried hence try and feed him. He is a fussy eater and takes an hour to eat. I have tried 'leaving' him to it and get a right ear bashing from family!

sorry i meant my Ds is not jelous when I feed my nephew etc

He's in a strange house, sleeping in a strange bed In a strange country and he is two and a half. He's playing up, seeing how far he can push you. That's what children do at this age. He is not rejecting you or acting malicious. So you can either suck it up and give in to him to keep the peace or you can deal with it.

Try moving him away from the table when he starts playing up and tell him he can come back when he sits nice. Every time he comes back and starts again, move him away again. If you're going to tackle the behavior though, make sure you let the adults know first and ask for their support.

I agree that he should be feeding himself. Maybe buy him a nice plate and cuttlery set with a character he likes. That in itself might encourage him to sit nice.

Also lots of kids don't seem to eat that much at this age, eat slowly, and quickly become distracted. If a Doctor has said they are worried about weight, then I would try to make sure he gets high calorie/quality small meals, and gets plenty of healthy (for 2 year old) snacks. Make sure he drinks plenty of milk or even milk shakes between meals.

However unless a Doctor has expressed concerns about his weight I really wouldn't fuss, if he doesn't seem to eat much.

I would also take him for walks and peaceful times away from the rest of the family. Too much attention, too many changes from routine, and too many new experiences can be very disruptive and hard for him to cope with. Down time with just you, or you and DH will be very good for him. When mine were little we often took them for a walk to the local park to just run off some energy and be able to be loud.

I would also suggest you have a quiet word with DH saying that you need to show a united front on child rearing, and he must not undermine any decisions you make, and you will do the same for him.

two seperate issues i think

he is jealous of the attention from auntie and gran that nephew gets. this is normal hes not re you as you have strong bond

eating, ok so you need to reduce fuss and attention at meal times dont forget children even at that age can be quite manipulative knowing if i do xzy... then this will happen. i would first break the cycle of feeding him. let him feed him do it. accept he may need several smaller meals a day.

sorry if rhis aounds harsh i think its wrong to force kuds to eat, no child ever starved themselves. you are the parent in charge here offer him healthy food several times a day teach him table manners how to use curlery etc.my ds takes ages to eat he is 7. my dd 10.5 months will not let me spoon feed her i put food on she takes spoon and puts it in.

dont offer more attractive snacks half hour later my ds still try this his half eaten dinner is still there for him and no pudding til eaten. but he only small portions. he is alao like a bean pole he was near the underweight end when they did that measuring in reception but as his mum i knew he ate a balanced diet and was exercising.

sometimes we need to remind ourselves mother really does know best stand firm

actually thats a good point bout him being away from usual home routine etc. time to start new stuff is when you back