I have two girls, 5 and 16 months, and both are incredibly clingy. dd1 always has been, although she's fine in school, but if I'm in she will either be sitting on me or be about an inch away if I'm standing. Sitting by me is not enough, she has to be on me. DD2 is still breast fed, and gets jealous if dd1 is on me, then demands to feed. If its just dd2, she will go off to play, but comes back for a feed every 10 minutes or so. Again, she's fine at the childminders or if I'm out at work. I end up avoiding sitting down, as I'm squashed by daughters! Its completely exhausting.
I worry that they are anxious because I'm not making them feel safe, or that its because I'm working. My mum became ill and died when dd1 was 3 months old, and I had a bit of PND, so I get concerned that the attachment has gone wrong somehow, but I don't know how to fix it.
I don't think its a phase, as its gone on for literally years with dd1. I don't know whether I should absolutely shower them with as much contact as I possibly can, so they feel as secure as possible, and hope they become more independent with time, or try to withdraw a bit. I'm frazzled