Our 4yo keeps having nightmares, does anyone have any ideas on how to help him?

[KirstyJC]

Over the last couple of weeks our 4yo has been having nightmares, most nights although not all. He wakes up drenched in sweat and shaking, although he quickly recovers with a cuddle and then goes back to bed happily enough.

I don't know if it is related, but he has been saying he doesn't feel well on occasions in the day as well, although he seems to forget about that quickly and doesn't act any different. He doesn't have a temperature or headache and seems to be eating/drinking/toiletting as normal.

Has anyone had any experience with this kind of thing? What can we do? Poor little mite looks so upset when he comes in all shaky.

Are they nightmares, or night terrors? Can he recall them? Is he awake fully when you talk to him.
It's a common thing at this age, and not much you can do. Some foods set off some children.
Sorry nit much help am I?

Not sure of the difference? He cannot remember them. Seems fully awake but doesn't say much. He calls them "bad dreams", but he may be repeating how we described them when we asked him

Our 4yo has had a bout of nightmares recently and I've put it down to the fact that he's processing an awful lot of new stuff at the moment and some of the sorting it out is coming out as nightmares. I always try to have a reassuring chat at the time and in the morning afterwards. Both DH & I are vivid dreamers, suffer from nightmares, sleep walking & sleep talking at periods of stress. So I think it's quite logical that DS would too.
He suffered from night terrors when he was littler and that scared me senseless so I think the nightmares are just a bit easier to deal with IYKWIM.
Unless he mentions something specifically I would just keep reassuring & cuddling and hope it's just a phase.

Although a couple of times in the daytimes he has said he dreamed about dinosaurs in the house chasing him and another time he said there was a wolf so perhaps he can remember something? He does have a very vivid imagination though so I don't know how accurate that is, he makes up stories really well.

For the last few days he has been saying that he doesn't want to shut his eyes at night as he'll have a bad dream, so he will be sleeping with his eyes open.

I was just wondering if there was any link with him saying he was not feeling well during the daytime, as this is also unusual for him and the two seemed to be at the same time.

Thinking about it I think that DS is more likely to have a nightmare if he's too hot at night. I suspect if they are uncomfortable / a bit off colour their sleep is more disturbed and therefore possibly more susceptible to nightmares?
My DS has for the first time started complaining of feeling 'sick' a few times recently (before he wouldn't say anything but it would be obvious when ill) but after worried questioning by me it turns out that he's either 'hungry' or envious that half his class have been getting extra attention due to being off thanks to the noroviris and he thought being 'sick' & having a 'sore tummy' sounded like a good idea to get a fuss made of him.
I'm constantly amazed how young the manipulating mummy's worries for gain starts with DS

My DD is 5 and has had nightmares and terrors for as long as I can remember. Terrors more linked to illness (especially ear infections) or major changes such as starting school . Nightmares tend to be based around anxiety, maybe I've been away on business or over stimulation. Also agree with the hot thing. Just been in and she is boiling from falling asleep snuggled under too many covers and already she is grinding bet teeth so have unconverted her to cool off, she'll locate the duvet when chilly. School starts on Tuesday and I'll lay a months wages she has a nightmare Sunday and Monday night.

I immediately go to her when she screams and if its only a nightmares I get her up and moving for a wee, otherwise she tends to not resettle of falls back into the same dream. Terrors are worse as they don't really wake, I tend to hug hug hug and then carry her to the bathroom knowing the bright light will wake her. She has never ever had problems with being dry at night since 2.5 but I think she sometimes sleeps so deeply her need for the loo comes through as a nightmare.

Other than a wee trip I've tried all sorts, no sugar near bedtime, changing the end of the bed systematically, night lights (you could practically land a plane on her room) and 'monster' spray for under the bed, curtains etc. however, the single most effective thing I ever got was a dreamcatcher from amazon that we made together and hung above her bed. She truly believed in it and it generally works a charm.

My 3 year old is quite eloquent and occasionally mentions bad dreams, although they often have a suspiciously similar plot to an episode of peppa pig or bubble guppies (so not innapropriate progs for her age). She loves being talked to as though she is an adult even if she doesn't quite understand and often comes back to check her interpretation of what we have said.

Something that has really helped her is to tell her that dreams are our mind sorting out things that we have seen or done in the day and that often the mind jumbles it all up. So sometimes the jumbling is really fun and happy, and sometimes it can be scary and sometimes it can seem just ordinary (she has woken up confused that she thought she was doing something then found that she was in her bed) but that our dreams can never, ever hurt us or become real. I don't think that she really understands what her "mind" is but she has clarified a couple of times that dreams can never, ever hurt us or become real and likes to say that. Her "favourite" topics of scariness are wolves, sharks, trolls and "a spookie" which seemed to come from Halloween.

Forgot to say that the important thing seems to be talking to her about it in the middle of the day when she is happy, alert and nowhere near a sleep time. In the middle of the night she gets much "younger" so she just gets a cuddle then I lie next to her for a couple of minutes until she is calm then say "it's the middle of the night so I have to go back to my bed now", give a kiss and make sure she has the toy of the day.

The other things that have massively helped have been explaining that Maisie the cat (who oftn sleeps on the foot of her bed, or slightly strangled by her) is an expert at chasing away trolls and gruffalos so she never has to worry about them and, possibly oddly, a triceratops pillow pet which she absolutely adores and is obviously much bigger and scarier than any possible spookies.