DS is nearly 5 and a nightmare with food. He isn't fussy as such, but he is very particular about what he wants to eat and when. He's always gone through picky phases, but this last one has lasted over a year. He refuses to eat any saucy food, such as bolognese, mild chilli, carbonara etc, even thigh he used to eat them all the time when he was younger. The only veg he will eat is broccoli (!), peas and sweetcorn, even though he has happily eaten lots of other veg in the past. Meal times take forever, often well over an hour, and he does everything he can to put off eating, often eating very little. He will mess with his water, talk non stop, get distracted and jump down etc. We try and have sit-down family meals as often as we can (although not always possible), but it seems like whatever we try (e.g., getting him involved in cooking and shopping), mealtimes are a nightmare. Any tips? Food is obviously a source of anxiety for him, but nothing we've tried has worked, and we're out of patience and ideas.
We've seen an occupational therapist (as he has some sensory issues, but not related to food taste or texture), and a paediatrician, and we've tried and failed with all of their suggestions. We're tried and failed with:
- Getting him involved with cooking - he's interested (to some extent) in cooking, but still refuses to eat or even taste what he's cooked.
- Reward charts, sticker charts etc, bribery/rewards with pudding/treat food or non-food rewards. We tried for three weeks. He wasn't interested.
- Set time limits. This made it much worse. He ate even less and cried even more. Very very stressy.
- Choice (limited) of food, e.g rice or pasta, sausages or burgers on the bbq etc.
- No choice, hard line - you eat what we tell you to.
The way we generally do it at the moment, is he gets a limited choice where possible, is allowed to choose his pudding if he finishes, and has to sit at the table until the test of the family has finished, or he goes in to time out. If he says he's full, leaves the table etc, them the foods goes in the bin, and no food until the next meal. He gets no snacks between meals, and no alternatives. If he's eaten no dinner at all, we let him have a small glass of milk before bed.
Obviously if we go to McDonalds or a fish and chip shop (once a month maybe?) He will eat like a horse, and wolf his food down, so there's nothing physically wrong with his eating ability.
He is currently on the 25th centile for weight, and barely put on a kilo in the last year.
We would like him to sit at the table with us for the duration of his meal, and eat the food we give him within 20 - 30 minutes. Is that unreasonable for a 5 year old?