Encouraging pre schooler and baby to play together - ideas please!

[Sutherlandgirl]

Hello! I'd love some suggestions please for encouraging my DS (2.10) and DD (8 months) to play together.

DS is lovely but a typical pre schooler - I.e short attention span, pretty stubborn, isn't too horrible to his baby sister but does sometimes look at her as though he wishes she would disappear into thin air! He also is not naturally inclined to play with other children, so needs lots of encouragement to do so.

DD is also lovely, not on the move yet.

I am an only child so would really like to help foster a good relationship between them.

Also, if there are any good books you can recommend in the subject that would be great!

Thanks!

Oh Gosh I really think you're hoping for a miracle here. A baby isn't capable of doing anything but play alongside someone else...and a preschooler isn't capable of being altruistic enough to lead a game that a baby might like...peekaboo ould possibly work for about 3 minutes!

It's normal for kids to play near but not with others until they're about 3 and a half.

Neither of them's capable of playing 'with' someone yet - that doesn't come until at least 3 as MrsMushroom said. No 2 yo is naturally inclined to play with other children. Playing alongside her is as much as you can expect from your DS and your DD won't really be into 'playing' yet at all. The best thing you can do at this point to foster a good relationship is making sure your DS still gets plenty of attention from you.

I had a similar age gap and tbh they pretty much ignored each other until very recently (age 7 and 4). I think leave them be tbh. Encourage kindness, treat them equally so they don't feel they have to compete.

My twins have been playing together since they were about 2 but they are twins and the same age so no issues with a bigger one giving a little one something inappropriate or hitting etc and the bigger ones who are 7 and 6 now (dts 3) have not been interested in playing with the dts until the point where they could join in their, sometimes quite complicated, role play and figurine/Lego/doll games which really is only the last 6 months or so. The big ones have always taken an interest but not played together until recently.

Er too young. You're expecting too much from either.

The best we manage is passing back and forth as dd loved passing things as a baby. So she'd give stuff to her older brother.

She's 1 now and ds 3. We read with them both on our laps, try and have games where both are involved eg hide and seek, chasing each other and dd "helps" ds build things by passing bricks.

I think that people are being quite negative here! Mine have played "together", i.e. been involved in the same games (with adult participation), since they were this sort of age. We are now a year down the line, and they play together for short spells without me - not hugely sophisticated games, but things where they interact and both participate.

I think at this age we did a lot of things like DS1 rolling balls / pushing cars to DS2, and me helping DS2 to return them to DS1, playing musical instruments along to music together, and DS1 playing peekaboo with DS2 to make him laugh. They also enjoyed hiding together in their pop-up tent. Now DS1 is 1.6, they play (after a fashion - but it doesn't involve me any more) hide and seek, chasing games, with the brio and car mat, and at kicking a football around. If we play board games, DS2 rolls the dice for DS1 (he is brilliant at this!).

It's got to be worth trying - mine play really well together (for shortish spells - up to 1/2 hour) and DS1 (obviously he is the one driving this, as DS2 is still too little to understand playing "together", but he does like to be where his brother is) looks to include DS2 in his play even when it's too sophisticated.

Wait a year or two and it will happen. Once they are 3 plus and 18 months plus it has more of a hope of happening. Of course it depends on the kids, mine are a great team now at just 6 and just 4, but I think it started happening more at 4 and 2 and properly at 5 and 3. .

I've got a bigger gap, ds1 is 3.7 and ds2 is 7mo but what I find works well is peekaboo, singing action songs (wheels on the bus, row row tour boat etc) together, splashing in the bath as they always make ds2 giggle and ds1 loves that. when ds2 is in the highchair while I'm preparing food I suggest to ds1 that he tries to make ds2 laugh and so ds1 does silly dances etc.

I make a big thing of telling ds1 about how ds2 loves to watch him and how ds1 can make him giggle which encourages ds1 to think of ways to entertain ds2. watching them interact is lovely of course they're not going to play properly together for a while but they can imo learn to interact with each other and enjoy each other's company.

I have the same age gap as cassell and while DS1 isn't great at 'playing' with the baby, he does love to show off any new skill he learns. Putting on a jumper, pooing in the toilet (!) and writing his name have all been demonstrated with glee to a rapturously adoring easily pleased baby DS2.

My two are 3.5 and 10 months.

Dd1 will play peekaboo/sing/dance/talk/hand a toy to her sister to keep her calm.

She will play alongside her in playpen or cot while I get things done so that dd2 doesn't have a meltdown.

Dd2 will imitate dd1 by pushing cars making car noises or talking to and moving around happyland figures or animals. Her new thing is to offer dd1 one of her toys to bite on.

Encourage ds to take care of his little sister, I always send dd1 to see dd2 when she first wakes (dd1 runs into their bedroom faster).

Making sure he gets your attention too, one on one story time etc will reduce resentment and help build a good sibling bond.

Yes I agree, encourage taking care rather than playing which builds a good foundation for later when the baby starts being more independent and therefore annoying!