how did u cope with 3 kids?

[workingonitagain]

i know there a lot of " if i should have no 3" threads out there but im sure nobody regrets having 3 or says that it wasn't worth it. so im more interested in how difficult the first few years of having 3 children with around 2 years age gap in between them was.
i recently had a mmc with no 3 and apart from the obvious disappointment of losing a pregnancy (although it was very early on) it also really made me think if i want to get pregnant again at all. i really struggled with the tiredness and sickness and hardly had energy to feed my dc not to mention giving them quality time with me and to be honest if having a 3rd means although we'll be a big family, i'll not be able to spread out my time, im not sure if i want to to it

thanks for sharing ur experience

I haven't ever had 3, because we went straight from 2 to 4, but I found the biggest adjustment was going from 0 to 1. A lot of the tasks of looking after children have to be done regardless of how many you have.

I think that you (and DP) are the only one(s) who can make this decision. If you think you will always regret stopping at two, then maybe you should keep trying. Of my six pregnancies, only three went to term (others ended at 11w, 20w and 20w) so I do know what it's like to keep trying after a loss.

I have 3 DC, aged 5, 3 and 6 months. I am permanently knackered but I love having 3 (though definitely not having more.) I think I would always have had a nagging regret if I'd stopped at 2. The 3rd pregnancy was exhausting - I had anaemia - and I do think my 2 older kids did have to put up with a very rubbish/grumpy mum for a few months. But they love DC3 and things have been much better since she was born.

I found the jump from 2 to 3 kids fairly easy to cope with. It does help massively that DCs 1 & 2 now play pretty well together.But I really struggled when both DC1 and DC2 first came along. So can only assume I'm getting a bit better at this parenting lark - or at least, knew what I was I'm for this time.

thanks for sharing ur experience
i do feel sometimes that i might regret not having a 3rd but im also worried if i won't be able to cope mentally and unfortunately neither of us have parents who can help so in that way im not sure which one is better, to gamble and go for it and might end up having a meltdown and then i would look very stupid and everyone would wonder why i had gone for a 3rd one if i can't handle it.
things just started to get easier as ds2 hit the 1 year mark but before i did struggle a lot so a lot to think about
thanks again for ur stories

I think it might help you to also chat to some people who have three older children. I have a 5yo, a 2yo and a 10m old and so far so good but sometimes I look into the future when they might all want to do different after school activities and stuff and it might be pretty hard to juggle.

I always really wanted three and love imagining them all hanging out together when they are older but it is hard sometimes as you can only spread yourself so thin, but I do think three is manageable and what they might miss out on from attention from me they gain from attention from their siblings.

Good luck with your decision!

I have 5 children with 2 years apart (twins in the middle). The early years are undoubtedly exhausting and difficult. You have to accept that you cannot always get it right, that you do your best, accept help where it's available (I had none unfortunately) and resign yourself to child-rearing. On no account take on ANY other roles, other than outside work if you have to( I chose to keep my career going and it saved my sanity, but I was very lucky to be in a job that supported my child-rearing role too).
It gets much better by the time the youngest goes to school

Oh BTW mine are now 10,12 and 14 and yes, there is a fair amount of juggling after school activities esp at this time of the year', it's mainly doable if you have an available OH. But life is always about discussion, how to do things and problem-solving.

Mine are 5, nearly 4 and 1 3/4.

Last DC was not planned and I spent my whole pg upset because I thought it was unfair having another DC when I wasn't sure I could cope.

It has been very hard and is only now getting easier as dc3 is not the best of sleepers but he is a bright well adjusted little boy who is adored by his older siblings and his parents, and my fears that he would get less attention and care were unfounded.

I am sorry for your loss and can't imagine how you must feel. If you do decide to continue ttc best of luck, but I would advise leaving a longer gap than I have as I really do not know how I coped when they were smaller and I think I blotted a lot out because I was so tired!

Wow thanks it really gave me a clear view on what's going on with 3+ families
just started to have those little amazing moments for the first time when i think all that hard work seems to be paying off seeing the 2 of them playing together for the first time (and both enjoying it) and i think that's what all of us aim to achieve when we plan to have more dc.
when i spoke to someone who is pregnant with no3 and i said i just don't have that feeling that i used to have with no1 and no2 that i was just soo sure about having another one and she said that with 3rd it's never (or very rarely ) going to be that obvious so maybe she was right and i can just wait and wait and it will never come
thanks again every day i have a different view on when and if i want a baby so we'll definitely wait and have a nice holiday in may as a family of 4 then maybe talk about it again

Going from 2 to 3 was quite hard and really shook things up, not as much as going from 0 to 1 though.
But i never regreted doing it though, when i watch 2 and 3 playing together i know i made the right desision.

thanks hoodoo12345 im sure i'd never regret it. the big decision also in our family is that dp thinks we might be able to offer better education for the 2 but definitely not for the 3 so that's a big thing to chew on even if we were dead set on 3.
i definitely agree watching them play togher is priceless and makes all the sleepless nites and stress seem all worth it :)