Tips on independent sleeping from co-sleeping (7 month old DS)

[lottytheladybird]

My 7 month old DS2 generally sleeps with me at night, as we haven't managed to get him to sleep well on his own and this has been the only way any of us get a good night's sleep.

We didn't plan on him sleeping in our bed, it just ended up that way really. I breastfeed him in bed and then he just stayed in there after that, as when I try and put him back in his cot, he wakes up.

Also, I try and pick him up as soon as he whimpers, as he wakes 2 year old DS1 if he cries. If DS1 wakes, it's quite hard to settle back to sleep, as he'll just cry and cry, by which time, DS2 is also wide awake.

I've really struggled to get the baby into a routine, as he won't fall asleep on his own in his cot and wakes every 30 minutes or so once I put him in his cot. I then have to comfort him by giving him a cuddle. I would really like him to be able to sleep independently. I'd like him to be able to fall asleep on his own in his cot and also not need to sleep with me at night.

I would be grateful for any tips and would love to hear of your experiences of going from co-sleeping to independent sleeping. Thank you!

I can offer no help I'm afraid, except to say that I'm in the same position with my 5 month old DS and am hoping someone will come along soon who can help!

If he cries and you pick him up, do you feed him?

I do. He always feeds though so I assume his hungry. What about you OP?

Dd co slept with me from 5 to 11 months, when she started sleeping longer stretches and being happier in her cot. I think what helped us was always putting her in her cot at the start of the night, then from first wake up she'd come in with me. This meant she was used to the cot at least. She stopped feeding to sleep at about 11mo and started being able to settle herself (with one of those music/light boxes), it just kind of happened. Don't worry too much at the moment, she's still a baby and will change loads over the next few months, just enjoy the snuggles for now (I miss them, if dd comes in bed with me now all she wants to do is jump on my tummy!)

Think the op may have done a runner

I'm still here!

I don't always feed him, but if it's been a while since his last feed, then I do. I also tend to if it's in the middle of the night, just because it's the easy option. I know I should try and cut down on the night feeds, but I just don't have the energy to at the moment. I know that if I feed him, then he'll go back to sleep easily.

I too secretly enjoy the cuddles, but I don't really want DS2 getting into the habit of needing me to sleep with him in order to sleep for long periods. (I think he's already got into that habit though actually...)

I try and settle DS2 in his cot too first thing in the evening, but he won't fall asleep in there on his own. I always have to put him in after having breastfed him and asleep already. He then tends to wake every 30 minutes or so. It's very tiring to have to try and re-settle him so often...

I'm currently attempting pick up/ put down with my non sleeping 8.5 month old DT1. I obviously also have DT2, plus DD, 2.3. So no crying here.

I have moved poor DT2 who just wakes 1-2 times for a feed into a travel cot, and just go in, and keep comforting til he eventually lies calmly in his cot and goes to sleep. Think 2 hours plus of doing it at first. But he was going down at 7:30, waking at 9-9:30 and every hour or so from thwn on, often sleeping with me for a bit (til DT2 or DD woke), up easily 6x a night. We've had some success, but I don't have the confidence he can go all night without a feed or two (after all, I feed his brother then put him back as its quick and easy!) . But down to 1 -2 night feeds. I'm kind of stuck on what to do now though, having had 2 epic fails the last two nights when my energy ran out and I picked up/ put down for an hour buy then was too tired, his brother woke so fed back to sleep... Gah. Still had improvements though.

Waffle, ramble, sorry for the fairly useless post there OP!

Can totally sympathise as neither of mine would have slept away from me at that age and for us, sticking them in bed with us was the only way we could all sleep much to the horror of co-sleeping phobic DM

If you have a look on askdrsears there is some good information. Try googling askdrsears 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and askdrsears bed to crib.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution too or Sound Sleep?

oK. I am old and grey. My children are 17 and 11.

They are babies for a very very short time. If sleeping with you gives everyone enough sleep and means the baby is happy, then do it. I promise they won't do it forever. You can struggle and struggle and eventually they will go to sleep in their own bed, or you can relax, enjoy the cuddles and eventually they will go to sleep in their own bed. Both ways will probably work at at about the same time, but is relaxed and happy- the other is stressful and sad.

Mind you, dp was away a while ago, and ds asked to sleep in the big bed. And on my way to bed much later, I noticed that dd was still awake, so when got To I texted her asking her if she's like to join us. So we slept like a pile of puppies, then had breakfast in bed together in the morning. It was lovely!

Jingle - Thank you for pointing me towards the askdrsears website. I've just read it and it makes a lot of sense. It's made me feel like it's ok to co-sleep and to not let my baby cry. I haven't read those books, but will look into them.

Glad you liked them . seeker that sounds lovely. I stuck my babies in bed with me and fed them at night even when they were kicked out for wanting to play all night moved to there own room when they were older.

Some friends tried every method going with little or no success, I was always the one who'd had more sleep. At that age dd used to latch on, it'd stir and go back to sleep. Ten minutes later she would come off, roll over, belch loudly and go back to sleep. Much more relaxed than trying to pacify a screaming baby whilst walking up and down for hoursc

Seeker, Thank you for your post. Wise words indeed.

Um, give it another few months? It does change, honestly. But you have more chance of the transition being painfree and cryless if you take the lead from your baby and gently tweak what he does. NCSS is v good for co-sleepers, as she did that herself, and you won't get any finger-wagging from her! She will tell you that the best way forward is stopping the baby from going to sleep with nipple in mouth, and this is probably true, but we didn't really manage that, and I got DS2 out of our bed at 15 months anyway. He was going into his cot in our room in the evenings long before that, and coming out when he woke in the nightor evening. When he started to sleep for longer stretches in the cot, and occasionally all night, I realised that my proximity was probably not helping, and legged it to the spare room. DH tended to him for a week or two (I will admit to caving in a few nights) and all of a sudden, he got it, and started sleeping through, on his own, at about 15 m.