i cant cope with my 3yr old DS

[cles1986]

im in desperate need of some help my DS is a nightmare he dnt listen and is hard to control, i cant take him anywhere because he is so embarrassing, no matter how many times i tell him to do or not to do something he doesn't listen, hes dangerous if left alone for a few minutes and its tiring, i cant even take the washing upstairs with out him making a mess or something down stairs. he dnt stay still and dnt sit still for more than 60 sec when hes awake. he screeches and he is bad at school and always bullying other children, and dnt listen to the nursery staff. im not a nasty mother and i do always tell him i love him and i dnt neglect him in any way, i just want to know if any one else has this problem or have had this problem. i feel like i cant cope and just want to give up sometimes.

My DS was foul....it gets better. He's now quite nice company. (age 7). Make sure he gets enough sleep, mine was worse when tired. Calming baths help. Quiet story times at bedtime. Get him to 'help' with the washing - pass you the pegs. Let him make controlled messes - I gave mine a mudpit! (Potting compost in the sandpit). Always make sure he is looking you in the eye when you tell him something and try to get him to repeat instructions back to you; mine has selective hearing! It will get better. I promise. x

My ds is four now and his behaviour has improved lots over the past 6 months. I need to make sure he gets enough sleep as tiredness makes a huge different to his behaviour. I also need to be firm with him but also make sure I play with him and spend time with him doing fun things. I hope things get better for you soon.

AAhh this was my boy!
I couldnt trust him in a room alone until he was about 7. Nightmare and so very different to all my friends boys.

Good sleep and good routine was key for me.
Also you are in danger of getting into a very negative cycle with him becasue of this.

I recommend:

At bedtime every night, tell him 3 things that have made you smile or proud of him today. (Some nights all i could think of was "didnt you breath well today" as some days were horrendous.

Naughty step or somesuch. There MUST be consequences to his actions. Be strict and consistant with this.

Get him out every day. I had to "walk" my sone twice a day as he had boundless energy.

Cut out colours/sugars and get him on omegas...give it a go. Jaffa cakes made my boy crazy!

Plan things to do together in the day. Just spend 1:1 time with him.

Accept help, if you have a family member or friend who can take him off your hands for even one hour, take them up on it. You need to recharge and have a break.

I always questioned if there was something wrong with my son, there was not and he is a perfectly lovely, normal and funny 9 year old now. It does get better, i promise.

he can be nice at times but 70 percent of the time he is bad, i do try and get him to sleep well but he still wakes about 2-3 times a night. he is very bright and quite advanced intellectually, i do involve him in everything i do because i am a single parent and i dnt get much help, we have a special time every day and he does like stories when he can sit for them. i wish i had a big yard for him to play but i have about 4 slabs :( he needs a running track. i just wish i could breath sometimes and not feel so strangled!

Some fab suggestions there, positive praise is key. Even if its just holding your hand 'well done, that's really good' crossing a road. Sometimes I think given a bad boy title they've something to live upto. I hope it gets better soon xx

wow thanks guys u have put a smile on my face :D i do love his personality i can relate to so much of this and will take it in to consideration. he has such a strong character also its nice to know im not the first! ty i was scared iv never posted b4 xxx

My delightful 3 year old gave me a fat lip and a bloody nose this afternoon, so you have my sympathy! And he did it during a quiet bit of ds1's nativity so I couldn't even yell out to go for the sympathy vote. He did apologise though.
This morning he was a different child, utterly lovely, star of his nursery play. I don't know why he's such a Jekyll and Hyde but he is.

They do grow out of it, ds1 was similar and at nearly 9 he's lovely more often than he's a git. It is hard though at the time.

He could be quite tired. My ds is a demon when tired.
Does he have a lot of dairy?

Also does he have any male relatives who can do some physical play with him? Very important for little boys.

Does he get much outdoor time?

Try telling what to do. Have clear rules but make sure there's lots of praise. Ignore the bad behaviour unless it is dangerous. It's amazing how ignoring can work! Give your ds warnings - mine understands about counting to three and mummy will do x. Usually means he will do it himself (eg mummy will count to three then get you dressed).

Let him help with stuff - ds likes to make things with me. That way I can show him how to do things safely (use the microwave, turn lights on, tidy up etc etc).