21mo - I feel like I'm saying 'No' all the time!

[Paula30CWR]

My 21-mo boy is getting to the Terrible Twos stage. I can see that because he looks at me with this cheeky face and then does something he knows he shouldn't do.

He's wonderful most of the time, he is very well-behaved, he doesn't fight with other kids, he doesn't hit and is very good with both my husband and me.

However, when it comes to me trying to protect him from dangerous things like the road, he simply doesn't listen to me. I feel like I'm saying 'Careful Jack; don't ; No, don't do that; etc' and I honestly feel bad. If he does something naughty, I say in a very firm way: You do not do that...but then...he cries and it's worse.

So, I don't think I'm soft but I don't think i'm firm enough either.
I have ordered the Gina Ford ' Content toddlers' to see if it has some advice. But I know that it might not have all the answers.

I guess I just want to be firm and not be saying No all the time. There are times when he's not doing anything wrong and he gets on people's way at the supermarket, and I think that simple things like that make me feel I'm being strict and he's only a little boy. Oh dear... I don't know.

I spend a lot of time with him as I can work from home. WE play, we go for walks or playdates, we do puddle-jumping, etc. However, he's not happy if he sees me sitting in front of my laptop or if I'm on the phone (I'll send him to nursery when he's two or a bit after that). But he seems to want my attention the whole time and when I say 'Mummy is busy', he just doesn't take that as an explanation because he doesn't understand the concept of responsibility, work, which is fair. But what do I do?
Everytime I explain something he goes mad when it's something he wants to do and has been denied for some reason.

So, I guess I'm probably exaggerating but I honestly don't know what to do. I don't know if i'm being soft or not strict enough.

Any advice will be welcome.

Have you looked at Janet lansbury's blog? Helped me a lot to feel better about my dd's behaviour and my response to it. She might be worth a google. Fwiw it sounds like you are doing a good job to me.

I've learned to pick my battles with 22mo DD - if it's not life threatening...

Agree sounds like you're doing a good job. That also sounds like perfectly normal behaviour to me. I'm a SAHM & 27mo has only recently started to play on her own while I get on with getting her dinner cooked, which she'll scream for in 10 mins time! I found that at 21 mths she definitely didn't "get" my explanations but I like to think they've slowly sunk in.

When you need to work Maybe try one last game & then you have to...write a message....make a call...or whatever. I've also tried not to say no all the time (I get sick of it so sure she does) & use different explanations or question how she thinks things should be used eg fork, crossing road safely & what happen if not. Then Praise, Praise, Praise every time they do what you want.

Really is like training a puppy

pick your battles, make it a game, put your foot down if dangerous.

I spend a lot of time messing around with my 23month old to avoid tantrums but when it comes to the road he gets strapped in the buggy as soon as he starts turning away and giving me that look. I ignored it for a second too long a few months ago and he ran into traffic.

Mine will sit at the table with me for ages doing play doh or drawing in a big note book - I get a coffee and bit of internet time.

Yes! All of the above. Plus now I've got to the stage with DD that I'll let her make a complete mess - she's learning, after all - and then she has to tidy up afterwards and that's something else she's learning.