Friend's 2yr old hitting mine

[liquoriceandtomatoes]

I don't know where to post this? I've a friend that I like seeing but after about 30 mins her ds always starts to lay into mine. there's always lots of snatching from start and I accept that's normal for lots of 2 yr olds. But then he starts hitting, pushing, pulling clothes... until he has my ds on the floor/crying, as it suddenly escalates. My friend says no but then gives him her phone (as a reward?) to watch cartoons and doesn't seemingly want to talk about it to me. I want to sit down her ds and explain to him but obv I can't, I want to not give him a phone and I want to talk to her but she says it's normal for the age.
Help!

Sorry to read this, how horrible for you.

If I were in your shoes, I'd talk to my friend and raise my concerns. I'd tell her how upsetting I was finding her DS's behaviour. I'd ask her to be firmer with him in terms of making her DS from hitting mine. It could be that she just doesn't know how to stop him.

Explanations don't work for this age group. Her lad needs to be given a sharp, meaningful 'No. Do not hit [Name]'. If her DS hits again, another 'No' followed by removing him from the play, away from your DS into a safe area/corner of the room, whilst your friend returns to you and your boy. Keep doing this every time he gets slap-happy. He must not be rewarded with attention or other toys until he plays nicely.

If I were you and my friend didn't take action ... well, either I would or I'd stop them playing together. Your DS needs to learn how to handle himself, but he's only 2. This could be quite damaging to his burgeoning self-esteem.

Talk to your friend and take it from there. Good luck x

After reading your post again, your friend seemsto be excusing her sons behaviour. Whilst he isn't otall responsible yet, he needs to LEARN that this is not acceptable. If your friend continues to make excuses, she's not taking this seriously. It is not okay for her son to lay into yours in this way. It's very aggressive, and she needs to curtail it now.

its hard when you are faced with this situation, my sons cousin use to be the same and it used to wind me up to the point where me and her mum..... (other halfs sister) fell out as her child could do no wrong!!!! if i was you id try to talk to the mum about it before you snap and look like your being unreasonable. if the parent dont try to understand then maybe you should suggest that the children have a break from seeing each other and that might get the parent to realise how much it effects you x

It's very difficult. Some mums think it's 'normal' behaviour and don't do anything about it which is the MOST infuriating reaction of all. I agree with the above posters about talking to her. It can't go on. My DS (now 2) has been hitting since June and it's been a LONG process to get him to stop. For the most part, he is great with other children now and I can go to friends' houses again. He still tackles his baby sister (but that's another story .
Another option in the meantime - if you feel you want to see your friend regularly- is to meet outdoors somewhere. Find a big park and let them run off steam. I found my problems were non existent as soon as we were out the front door. Good luck.