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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Don't like reading to DD - help

35 replies

aliphil · 17/12/2012 23:07

I am a complete bookworm and one of the things I was most looking forward to was reading to my DD. OK, she's only 4 months old, but I want to encourage her to love books ASAP. Trouble is, I am really not enjoying reading to her. In the day it's not too bad if I get round to it because she seems to like it, but it feels like the last straw - something like "You mean I've fed her, changed her, got her to sleep, and now I have to read to her as well?" At bedtime she screams if I read to her, though she seems to enjoy DH doing it - maybe she can smell the milk on me? - so that puts me off.

So my questions are, do I need to read to her at this age? Should I be doing it every day? How can I make it a bit more fun for me? And if I don't do it, how do I face my book-loving friends who all read lots to their children and naturally assume I am doing the same and loving it?

OP posts:

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seeker · 17/12/2012 23:11

I honestly wouldn't worry about it at 4 months! Wait til she's responding to stories- thn you'll both enjoy it!

Oh, and keep in the back of your mind that you can't make a bookworm!

doughnut44 · 17/12/2012 23:14

echoing seeker - don't worry too much about it x just chit chat to her and when you run out of things to say - sing!
What books are you reading to her? At 4 months I would imagine they just like to feel the books and chew them x

fattybum · 17/12/2012 23:18

I really wouldn't worry at this age. If you don't enjoy it, don't do it. I'm sure it won't make any difference at this age, do you remember being read to at 4 months?!

I prefered singing nursery rhymes at that age and dc really loved that. It will become much more fun when she's more aware and interested.

Bluestocking · 17/12/2012 23:18

I am a real bookworm too and had great memories of bedtime stories, so I started reading to DS every night as soon as we brought him home. When he was very tiny, like your DD, I used to read to him while I fed him before putting him into his cot. That felt really nice and relaxed - he was enjoying a lovely feed, and hearing me reading to him at the same time. I still read to him most nights and he'll be nine in three months - and is a complete bookworm!

runawaysimba · 17/12/2012 23:18

I think at that age the main thing is engagement and hearing your voice, rather than the story - I used to read my book out loud, or magazine articles, when DD was wee.

Dromedary · 17/12/2012 23:21

Try not to worry about what other people are doing - or there's no end to it.

Original poster

aliphil · 17/12/2012 23:23

She does respond, but I don't know whether it's to the story or just our voices. I sing to her a lot - singing's what I do (don't mean as a job but that it's something that comes naturally).

Books - Hairy Maclary, Rosie's Walk, Very Hungry Caterpillar, some of the "That's not my .." series, Mog and Me, a couple of books with patterns and mirrors we got given, a few others but my brain isn't working at the moment!

I think part of the trouble is my family set the bar pretty high - my mother told me that when I was a baby my father came home to read to me every day in his lunch break. I don't remember that, of course, but he read to me at least twice a week as far back as I do remember until well after I could (and did) read - I think until I went to boarding school at 13! And my mother read to me as well.

OP posts:

breatheslowly · 17/12/2012 23:25

I wouldn't worry at 4 months. It took a lot longer for DD to be interested in books and then to have the attention span and language to be able to follow much of a book. She is not unusual, I just had quite different expectations. Once she is interested then go for really short books. DD liked the 'that's not my' books, ones with pictures of other babies like this and ones with animals to do the noises. Early reading is also a lot of asking your baby to point at things. DD now imitates me and asks me to find things on the page.

One of my favourite memories of DD reading was when, at about 12 months, she took my finger and brushed it on one of the textured bits of a book to show me what it felt like.

plantsitter · 17/12/2012 23:25

You could make stories up and tell her while you're feeding her instead.

As for your mum and dad, remember that people have very short and inaccurate memories. My mum told me I was running about by 7 months! Er, no I wasn't.

breatheslowly · 17/12/2012 23:27

I have also found that my mother's memory of my childhood is not entirely accurate, so I wouldn't place too much reliance on your family's standards.

PavlovtheCat · 17/12/2012 23:28

I did the same as runaway, read whatever I was reading out loud. Dh read lord of the rings, or some adult fiction he was reading, and as they both grew a bit bigger i would give them a book to hold/chew that might not necessarily be relevant to what i was reading or talking about! I talked about our day in a story type voice, and as she got bigger just pointed at pictures and said the odd word.

They have no clue whatsoever what a book is or what you are going on about so the words don't have to fit the book!

SamSmalaidh · 17/12/2012 23:28

I don't think my DS really got interested in books/being read to until about 12 months.

PavlovtheCat · 17/12/2012 23:30

I have found that my own DHs memories have become inaccurate about DD, and quite soon after she was a baby! he tells everyone she got her first tooth at 3 months. He is very proud of it. And I keep having to remind him that it was actually exactly 7 months and 3 days, and I recall it vividly for a very particular reason! He then remembers that event and says 'you sure she was not 3 months then? i remember her teething!'

Before long, DD is going to have been born with teeth.

ReturnToPlanetVenus · 17/12/2012 23:32

With DS1, who loved books from tiny, I used to read lots of things I liked, as well as his books. Poetry was good - things like Robert Louis Stevenson's A Child's Garden of Verse. Lovely and relaxing for me, yet short poems meant that I could squeeze some reading in if we just had a few spare minutes. With DS2 I've had less time and he's been less interested in books, so I've just made sure that he always has books lying around to explore, and that he sometimes sees me reading. At 20 months he is only just showing an interest in simple books. I think the main thing must be to keep reading as a pleasure and never a chore,and as she grows to make sure that books are available.

doughnut44 · 17/12/2012 23:44

Just to say as well, my dd loved books from the age of 6 months until she started school - then she wouldn't look at one at home

PenelopeLane · 18/12/2012 08:16

I didn't really read to DS at that age - and like you love books and felt bad about it. I only really started when he got into it himself at about 5 - 6 months, and as soon as he got older and started to point (can't even remember when that happened) it became quite fun. He's really into books now at 14 months and i enjoy reading them, but have found that rather than stories it's the ones with pictures of actual things that he likes the most, ie ones filled with photos of different animals etc. With those ones, rather than me reading, it feels like more of a prompt for a conversation although I don't understand his baby speak, but still

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit · 18/12/2012 08:20

What are you reading at the moment? For yourself I mean. I used to read my ds whatever trashy novel I was reading, I found if I enjoyed it, I put more effort in. He enjoyed listening to the rhythm of the words, he wasn't aware that I was reading salacious nonsense and I got to mentally 'escape' for a bit.

HelpOneAnother · 18/12/2012 08:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tiggles · 18/12/2012 09:06

If your DD likes books in the day read to her in the day, it doesn't have to be before you go to bed. My boys were both about 12months before I started a bedtime story with them but they both liked books in the day. By bedtime they were too tired.

DS1 always (obviously) enjoyed books. With DS2 I had no idea he enjoyed books so much until he was mobile and continually crawled over to the book pile to look at them. He hadn't shown any obvious interest when I was trying to read with him.

silverangel · 18/12/2012 16:31

My DTs are 16 months old and they still much prefer to EAT books, theyre not fussed on me reading to them. Or I read and they jump the pages too far or shut the book.

silverangel · 18/12/2012 16:33

they're

notcitrus · 18/12/2012 16:39

I used to do action songs with ds, usually after nappy changes when he was lying down, but books weren't interesting until around a year, and even then not at bedtime. Our bedtime routine was pretty much he looked sleepy, new nappy, bung in grobag, goodnight - fun stuff happened during the rest of the day.

Wasn't until he could say a few words that reading to him got interesting, as he'd provide his own commentary on the story (usually No duck! DUCK! DUCK! No duck. No duck. No duck... but got better).

Enjoy your singing and what your baby is doing at the moment - staring intently at borders of light and dark things and admiring shiny lights, at a guess.

priscilla101 · 18/12/2012 17:02

What about singing stories?

Or these www.amazon.co.uk/Five-Currant-Buns-Song-Mitten/dp/B000KGCEL2/ref=pd_sim_k_h_b_cs_1 ?

Or this www.amazon.co.uk/Animal-Boogie-Barefoot-Singalong/dp/1846866200/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1355850105&sr=1-3

CecilyP · 18/12/2012 17:15

When I opened thread, I had no idea that it would be about such a young baby. You do not have to read to a 4 month old baby - you just don't. Twenty years ago, few people would even thought of doing this (your parents were obviously exceptions), so you do not have to say anything to your book-loving friends, other than that you are waiting till your LO can actually engage with a book. You will know when that happens and then it will be an enjoyable experience for both of you.

In the meantime, if you love reading, take advantage of the time when she is asleep to read the books you enjoy. When she reaches the toddler stage, you will find that impossible.

Original poster

aliphil · 18/12/2012 18:00

Thanks everyone, I will try not to worry then (emphasis on try!) and keep singing. At least there are plenty of books in the house for her to explore when she wants to, and she will undoubtedly see DH and me reading whenever we get the chance!

It's a good idea about reading her my books, but I'm not sure I could manage it as I'm a very fast reader and would get frustrated at being slowed down so much. At the moment I'm devouring books on the Kindle during DD's excessively long feeds.

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