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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone else have a runner??

18 replies

mewkins · 16/12/2012 22:15

Dd is coming up to 2.5. She was walking early and evet since she hasn't stopped running! I see other peple walking hand in hand with their toddlers...my dd never ever does this. She will refuse to hold hands when walking near a road (sits down in a puddle, screams or tries to run off at full pelt). If I use baby reins she will strain against them like a lively terrier and then scream and want carrying.

Left to her own devices she will charge off without looking back. And she's so quick! my dad today could not keep up with her! She also has zero road sense....or any common sense really.

She is speaking well etc but refuses to listen to explanations about the need to hold hands. In fact the only time she walks at a normal pace is when waljing my parents' dog - it's quite drastic to have to buy a dog just to keep her walking along a pavement!

Anyone else with a runner who can tell me it will get better soon and any tips on helping develop road sense etc. Dd is due to start preschool in Jan and I know they teach this.

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Sabriel · 16/12/2012 22:20

3 of my 5 were runners. It only gets better when they get a lot older.

At 2 yo she is still a baby and really doesn't see why she has to hold hands - you cannot reason with a 2 yo. She needs to be on reins or in a buggy, sorry.

PrincessMononoke · 16/12/2012 22:20

Yes, I have runners dt's are 29 months, we use little life back packs and I take a pushchair with us for long distances so if they stop and scream they get in that, I hope thinks its just a phase. I do lots of loud parenting and reward "good walking" in an embarrassingly loud and animated fashion.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2012 22:21

Mines now 3.8 and a million times better (in fact has only run once in the last 3 months) but was as you describe at 2 and a half. I think at that age I started telling her off when she did it. It worked to an extent and she enjoyed lecturing others that 'we dont run off, do we... thats naughty' . At some point probably around 3 I started carrying reins around in my bag and using them as a consequence of misbehaving rather than a prevention.

brettgirl2 · 16/12/2012 22:23

Oh and I point out how nicely 'big' girls walk with their mummies and that running is for babies.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 16/12/2012 22:28

Me! I have a runner. He thinks double yellow lines are The Most Fascinating Things Ever and makes a dash for them every time he sees them

He's only 16mo so I've made no attempt at appealing to his sensible side. We have a Little Life backpack and make sure we show him the snacks and toys we're putting inside before we put it on him so he quite likes wearing it until he realises we can pull him back with it

Original poster

mewkins · 16/12/2012 23:05

Thanks all! makes me feel better than dd is not the only one who does this! I guess it's also hard for them to differentiate between being in a safe place where she cam run (the park) and being near cars where she can't. Will try reins again I think. I still use a buggy (when I can wrangle her into it.. I'd just like to be able to walk occassionally!

OP posts:

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 16/12/2012 23:08

We have this one I know some people disagree with them, but it seems to work most of the time for DS.

neolara · 16/12/2012 23:17

Reins. Or strap her in the buggy. I've had a runner, and honestly, the only thing that worked was her getting older and a bit of common sense. People who are snotty about reins haven't IMO ever had to deal with a bolter. If they did, they would soon change their minds.

IloveChristmasandsodoesmydog · 16/12/2012 23:19

Dd1 never ran off, ever.

Dd2 was/is a bolter. Came as a complete surprise. Had to resort to strapping her, screaming and writhing, into the stroller. Nightmare. Fortunately she is getting better as she gets older and can be reasoned with. She's now 3.6 and isn't too bad.

We did have a narrow miss with a lorry once which had been forced up the pavement that we were walking along. Thank god she hadn't run ahead or she could well have gone under its wheels. Her and dd1 were thankfully beside me and I pulled them out of the way. The lorry's wheels were bigger than my dds and it scared them being so close as it went past. I could have reached out and touched it. I nearly cried at the thought of what might have happened if they'd been just a few feet in front.

Sorry, slightly scary but puts a screaming toddler into perspective.

PogoBob · 16/12/2012 23:25

Another who can recommend the little rucksacks with the strap/reins, use one with DD and it's the only way to keep her under control. Also resort to the buggy on a regular basis!

She is starting to understand the need to wait at the curb recently (28 mo) but will still make a dash for it anywhere else. Am hoping it gets better soon!

RyleDup · 16/12/2012 23:28

Yes my ds was a runner. He's almost 3 now and he has calmed down loads. I still don't really trust him, but he is a lot better now. So there is hope.

PoisonMountain · 17/12/2012 13:47

DS was like that. DH refused to let me use reins so every time we went out I asked DS if he wanted to walk or go in the buggy. If he chose to walk I told him he had to hold my hand and if he let go he would be put in the buggy. And I did, every time. Even when he was kicking and screaming (helps if you have a buggy you can lie flat, loosen the straps before you go out then just dump them in the buggy and tighten the straps). He is now 3 and whilst I wouldn't trust him next to a busy road he will walk next to me. To cross roads and by busy roads he has to hold my hand and he always does. In fact he now often refuses to walk next to me unless he is holding my hand.

It did take us a while to get there, but we did get there. You don't need to give her an explanation, you keep it simple and tell her she will hold your hand or its reins/buggy.

wallypops · 17/12/2012 14:08

I had a runner - when 9 months pregnant with DD no 2, DD1 aged 15 months, whizzed out the sliding doors leaving me trapped in the queue for the check out, she scuttled through the car park and I just managed to catch her as she got to the main road. Terrifying experience.
I didn't use reins, but walked them (DCs) for miles with the dogs, who were thankfully way more obedient. Much disputing and no compromising. Not sure if we won or she just grew out of it. Now 7 & 8 and still alive.

HollyMadison · 17/12/2012 14:24

I have a bolter. He hates his reins but now at 22 months he understands that his choices are to walk with his backpack or go in his stroller...

capecath · 17/12/2012 14:50

Agree with other posters about making the choices clear and being consistent in sticking with it, even if you have to do it hundreds of times. Ours were, walk nicely or be carried. If we had the pushchair, then it was walk nicely or pushchair. No compromising, no other options, carry through with warnings. You really do need to in this case for safety! DS1 is also 2.5 and walks mostly ok on his own now (he knows he won't be allowed to if he doesn't :)) A lot of repetition, firmness and praise for good walking seems to have worked (eventually!) for us. Rule for crossing road is always hold hands and we look for cars. Even if it means screaming and practically dragging him by the hand, he knows very well it'll be much easier for him if he just listens (doesn't usually resort to this anymore)!

matana · 17/12/2012 16:31

Another runner here. We're saying lots of "Hold mummy's hand near the road or you will go in your buggy" which usually works. He hates sitting for any length of time, anywhere, at the moment. So if you threaten to take that freedom away from him he invariably does what you ask. If he doesn't, he goes in the buggy - complete with arms flailing, legs kicking, screaming protests etc - but those have lessened as he's seen we're consistent and don't make idol threats. I have become immune to his public tantrums when it comes to his safety because i won't compromise. But I'm actually quite relaxed about him bolting providing he's not near a road or anything dangerous and i can see where he is and get to him quickly. If the journey takes longer to allow for his curiosity then so be it - if we need to get anywhere in a hurry we'll take the car.

AnotherMonkey · 18/12/2012 10:33

Yep, another runner.

We had a little rucksack with a rein but he would lie down every time he felt it pull

At 3.4 it's getting better, slowly! Apparently I need help crossing roads now, so at least he holds my hand for crossings without drama.

vickyannsmum · 27/12/2012 16:41

From my own experience, it will happen on it's own as the child matures. I did the same thing - looked at all the other kids and the parenting techniques - all for nothing - every child is an individual and what works with one doesn't with the other. Definitely talk about it with your DC (not when and then - outside of the stressful situation) - I know it sounds silly, but they understand more than you think - and one day it will be their decision to hold hands, because they will understand why it's important. (Try to incorporate it into a role-play with dolls/cars/...) It will be better - it's just a phase :-) ...and yes, stay safe even if you have to drag her/him under your arm - am sure as a mum - you developed the I'm not being judged by anyone attitude. Lots of luck!

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