3 year old bedtime problem

[Ducky5867]

DD1 is 3.1yrs, and transferred to a cot bed on 3rd birthday (she never tried to climb out of cot etc, and went to bed lovely - so seemed little point of moving her to big bed).

After going to big bed, she went to sleep well for about 2 weeks. But now...... It's a nightmare, she doesn't get out of but keeps calling us in for every reason under the sun (duvet not right, she is too hot, her knee hurts etc etc), if we don't go in she will just cry so much that she is likely to make herself sick. She will then promise to go to sleep nicely, and then 5mins later she is calling us in again. We threaten to take toys away if she doesn't go to sleep, she says she will, and when we do take toys away she cries so much worried that she will make herself sick.

It now takes an hour and an half for her to finally fall asleep. Which means she is too tired the following day.

We have a lovely bed time routine of bath, teeth, stories, prayer, bed, but when we shut her door the fun and games start.

We also have a 4 month old DD2, so really don't want DD1 screaming the house down and waking DD1.

Any advice for getting DD1 to go to bed nicely? Thanks

oh gosh, variation on controlled crying? sit outside the door, go in after one minute, shush, tuck in, no eye contact, no words, wait til settled, go back outside the door. if she starts up, leave it 2 minutes, repeat. Repeat all til asleep. It's not instant but after a few nights they realise they don't get anything extra out of calling you back, but they do get reassured that you're there.
Otherwise, pick out a nightlight together? my 3yo can't sleep without a light on, even just one of those plug-filler LED jobs.

has she ever actually made herself sick by crying, just out of interest?

Thanks Omaoma. She has a nightlight (it was her bday present from dd2), which may add to the problem as she uses it to see that the duvet is not right etc, but like your Dc she won't sleep without it now.

Unfortunately when she gets so upset its like she then has difficultly breathing, she then coughs and then sometimes is sick. So we do all that we can to make sure she doesn't get to that stage.

Will try the no talking advice you have given, but am nervous that she will cry too much, make herself sick, at which point I will talk to her to comfort her after being sick. If that happens she will then realise that in order for us to talk to her she has to make herself ill!!

Have you tried putting a cd on for her? This has really worked for our DD also aged 3 - she likes a classical lullaby cd but perhaps your DD might like a story cd - it might take her mind off being left alone?!