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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nessun Dorma: DD 6m not sleeping - at end of tether!

13 replies

Fishandjam · 15/12/2012 07:42

HI everyone,

I really hope someone will have words of wisdom as I am totally at the end of my tether. This is a bit long, sorry!

DD, now 6 months, has never slept through - wakes at least once a night. I put it down to her being EBF (her brother, now 3, was a fantastic sleeper - straight through by 10 weeks - but he was mixed formula and BF). Sad to say it but her poor sleep is causing major family problems. I'm so tired I can't really cope with DS, who is being a normal, stroppy, demanding toddler - I end up yelling at him over trivial things, and twice I totally lost it and whacked him on the bottom . (This was the one item of parenting discipline that I had sworn I would never, ever do.)

About 3 weeks ago we put her into her own room, and also started a bit of sleep training as I was drooping with exhaustion. (Previously I'd fed her each time she woke.) This went pretty well for about a week, and then, a week ago, it crashed and burned. She now wakes continually (like every 1.5-2 hours) at night and seems to want feeding every time - not just a little snack either, a full two-sided banquet.

In desperation, I went to my GP (mainly because the tiredness was getting me to a mental place I really didn't want to be - I have a history of depression and I felt like I was slipping back there). He didn't give me a chance to explain the circumstances very well, and just told me to start solids and replace all BF with FF as it was obvious my milk wasn't good enough . I hadn't started DD on solids because she can't sit up yet, and I know one of the guidelines about being ready for solid food is being able to sit up.....

So I've started her on a bit of mashed banana etc and also one (and one only) bottle of formula, just before she goes to bed. Not that it makes any appreciable difference, she has the formula at 7pm and is awake and demanding more by 11pm. Last night she wanted a full dose of boob at 7.30 after a whole bottle of Cow & Gate!

I was wondering if anyone else had experience of poor sleepers suddenly getting even worse, and also of getting poor sleepers to do a bit better? All I want is for her to sleep between 11pm and 6am - any longer than that would be a bonus, but I'm not greedy!

Thanks for reading this far.

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GailTheGoldfish · 15/12/2012 08:45

I'm sorry things are sounding so tough for you, but I don't think your baby is necessarily a poor sleeper. My 5 month old has never slept through either, waking at least once a night but up to six or seven times during growth spurts and I would still say she was pretty good when it comes to sleep. I think your GP is taking rubbish and it is much more likely your baby is on a growth spurt right now. But I understand you are knackered, totally understandable given you also have a toddler and I hear what you're saying about the depression. Could you express some and get someone else to give her a bottle for one of the night feeds? And I hate to say it but it sounds like you need to go to bed at 7.30pm to get a four hour stretch of sleep, that will make a difference to how you feel. Good luck.

SledsImOn · 15/12/2012 08:51

I agree it sounds normal. Sorry! I think sometimes the best way to deal with babies and sleep is to accept that you won't get any, and roll with it - it DOES improve gradually, and tbh the thing I found helped me most was having them in my own bed, next to me, so that I didn't have to make that 'upright' transition every time they woke in the night...I could just lie back and doze while they fed. It's much better than waking up properly and standing up to go into another room.

Also teething can really kick in at around 6 months so be aware she might need the comfort of sucking because of that - it's not a bad thing, just a different need and it's perfectly Ok to 'give in' to it.

knackering I know but it will pass x

TheBeanAndTheBee · 15/12/2012 08:56

What's her sleep like during the day? Also I would give the bottle of formula at 10/11 rather than 7, could your other half do this feed so you can get a decent(ish) stretch of sleep?

ElphabaTheGreen · 15/12/2012 10:36

Almost 7mo DS's sleep has got progressively worse since he was 12 weeks old and he has also never slept through. Last night, he was awake 6 times before midnight. Solids have made not a jot of difference, and, personally, I would report a GP who recommends formula on the absolutely outrageous claim that your breastmilk is not good enough. That's disgusting.

No advice, sorry. Just solidarity. You don't want to hear it's totally normal (even though it is) because that means there's not a thing you can do about it!

ElphabaTheGreen · 15/12/2012 10:43

PS We have a hideous sleepers support thread going on here if you'd care to join.

claudiebelle · 15/12/2012 10:52

No advice here either, but offering more solidarity. My 6mo ds has never slept through and wakes usually between 4and 6times a night. His best ever was twice and that was pre 16weeks. It's so exhausting but it will get better. I think if they're hungry you've got to feed them, 6months is still pretty tiny.

Tolly81 · 15/12/2012 11:29

Agree I think this is fairly normal but wanted to second the teething thought - my DD who is normally pretty good is awful just now with teeth coming through. Agree GP talking rubbish especially about solids - it would be ages before this made an appreciable difference! However at one point my (then ebf) dd starting feeding feeding at night every 2 hours - for a good half hour each time - but then was going 4 hours + between feeds during the day and didn't want anything from when she woke up at 6:30 until about 10:30! She'd just got into a habit of taking a lot of calories at night and I started giving her bottles at night which I very gradually diluted) it took a couple of weeks but she gradually started taking more feeds during the day and went back to waking once. But if she's feeding heavily during the day too then it probably is a growth spurt so probably wouldn't work if that's the case.

Original poster

Fishandjam · 15/12/2012 19:55

Thanks ladies. I think I'll have to go back to the semi-cosleeping (basically, get her into bed with me when she wants to feed, and then putting her back in her cot as and when I wake up to find her snoozing next to me). It means that DH is relegated to the spare room but so be it. It will feel like a step back from where we were a few weeks ago (when she was in her own room and would be able to be soothed back to sleep, without feeding, when she woke in the wee small hours). But feckit, I'm beyond caring. I'm beginning to obsess about sleep the way a junkie obsesses about their next fix.

Bean&Bee, I like the idea of DH doing the 11pm feed with a bottle .

I don't think she's teething - not in earnest, anyway. She is chewing her Sophie pretty thoroughly but there are no other signs of it (drooling, red cheeks etc). There are no signs of any teeth coming through yet. But who knows what's going on in them thar gums - she could just be hard as nails and not showing the usual symptoms! (This is a baby who did not cry for her immunisations - just blinked a bit, and then gave the nurse a gummy grin.)

She is shite on a stick when it comes to daytime feeding. Very, very distractible, especially when we're out and about. Which will not be helping.

See you all on the shoddy sleepers support thread!

OP posts:

Bibs123 · 15/12/2012 20:25

Could the banana be to blame as hard to digest? Could be giving her tummy ache?

feekerry · 15/12/2012 21:48

I think the way/what she eats will have little baring on her sleep. All babies sleep different regardless of whether they are ff,ebf, or solids.
Her sleep sounds pretty normal but if she is waking hungry then the most calorific thing you can give her bm .......

hophophippidtyhop · 16/12/2012 07:24

my dd's were always especially wakeful before they did something developmently - you mentioned she's not sitting up yet, so maybe she's just about to make that breakthrough... ( they both woke through the night til they walked too - dd1 at 13 months, dd2 at 21months)

Original poster

Fishandjam · 17/12/2012 17:45

The co-sleeping not going so well actually - she thrashed about all last night (caught me a right wallop in the eye at one point) in between feeds. Seems to be struggling to feed in the day as well - bet it's teeth - Calprofen tonight!

And of course she is currently angelically asleep just as I need to go and get DS!

OP posts:

ellee · 17/12/2012 23:22

God it is hard, our dd didn't sleep through til about 10m, I was working full time, dh often away, it was incredibly tough.

For us, teething was a big issue for her and a spoon of calpol at night helped a lot. That and boy does she like to be WARM! I'm talking long sleeved vest, pjs, winter baby bag, 2 blankets and some heat in the night.

So calpol def worth a try! Good luck!

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