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bedtime nightmare

6 replies

Greenwichgirl25 · 14/12/2012 20:19

Hi all, I have a 16 week old little boy who is generally a happy baby with no issues such as colic/reflux. He does however have one big problem and that is sleeping during the day and going to bed at night. He will not sleep in his cot during the day, we have done everything to try but for example this week, I deliberately stayed in each day between 1200 & 1400 to get him down in his cot. Today is day 5 and he has screamed every day for up to 70 mins despite me going in every 5,10,15 mins etc. This is the same for both am and pm naps which he will happily take in his buggy or the car(both have to be moving!) And it is the case that he is tired as if he doesn't get his daytime naps he melts down.
And come 1700, no matter whether he has had all his daytime sleep or not, he becomes so hysterical and overtired if we don't get him to bed by 1730 he gets so upset he won't even take his bottle. He then cries in the cot for up to 20 mins ( we go in as times above) but then will usually sleep through till 0700 with us waking him at 2200 for a bottle.

What am I doing wrong? I hear of all these people who have lovely relaxing bedtimes with their babies. We have a routine but no matter what, by the time we have him dressed for bed he is already crying. All the books swear that the crying will dissipate quickly if you are consistent but we have seen no improvement ever! Can someone help me? I hate that my little boy screams himself to sleep to the point of hysterical sobbing and sweating every night but I am out of ideas.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

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GailTheGoldfish · 14/12/2012 20:35

Just as a temporary thing to get him over the tiredness could you get him to fall asleep whilst holding him? And just sit and hold him while he sleeps for a couple of naps? Or just go with the car or buggy for a day or two. He is still really little and there is plenty of time to get him into the cot, but for now I would do whatever works to get him to sleep for maybe three naps in a day and see how it affects him. A couple of days of good sleep might reset him.

Greenwichgirl25 · 14/12/2012 20:47

Thanks so much for the reply. Unfortunately I have done the whole holding him in my arms to sleep thing but he still cries for ages before going to sleep and then wakes up after about 10-15 mins and the whole thing starts again. It does seem though even if he has had a few days of proper naps because I have walked the legs off myself for hours in parks, he still turns hysterical around 1700, without me even starting the bedtime routine!

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Tolly81 · 14/12/2012 21:14

Maybe he just wants a nap late in the day? My DD has always had a pretty late nap (anytime between 3 and 6pm) and without it she's miserable and falls asleep at bedtime feed. Could you try taking him out in the car at 4:30pm let him sleep for an hour (in the car if necessary) then try waking him up and starting his bedtime routine?

GailTheGoldfish · 14/12/2012 21:14

Ok, are you absolutely sure it's not reflux? Or maybe it is to do with winding down so he can sleep - have you tried massage or something similar to help calm him before you put him down? Sounds really tough for all of you, hopefully others will be along soon with other ideas.

Greenwichgirl25 · 14/12/2012 21:29

Again thank you very much for your replies and advice. I have done a baby massage course with him but he doesn't really enjoy it and it definitely doesn't calm him at bedtime. Am sure he doesn't have reflux as during the day he takes all bottles easily, burps well and never cries after..esp 2230 feed he literally takes 240 mls then lies straight down and sleeps till 0700.

Tolly, he just won't last till late in the day, even if he sleeps from 1630-1700 he still is so upset by 1745-1800 and then when he stops crying sleeps through till we have to wake him at 2230 for his bottle.

I hope I'm not coming across as negative and ignoring your suggestions but we really have tried but don't seem to be getting anywhere..we are heading away to cape town tomorrow for our first holiday in 2 yrs and we were hoping my parents ( who will be also be there) would be able to mind him a couple of evenings but if he stays like this, we couldn't ask them to deal with the horror of it!

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RB68 · 14/12/2012 21:56

Your parents will be fine - remember they had kids once!! They will have their own little tricks and ways which may help.

Have you tried stories and songs or music - sounds daft but cds of nursery rhymes and me singing helped my LO who went through a phase - slghtly older then yours but still really helped.

I didn't do the whole down in a cot thing as my LO was a premmie and also I wanted her to fit around us a little bit so in the day when she was ready for sleep (not when I was ready for her to sleep) I would put her in the moses basket (she was the right size for about 5 mths for that) and let her just kip in the front room or where ever I was. You might need something more than the moses basket as mine was a shrimp but also at that age she had at least two decent sleeps a day if not more if we went out in the car.

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