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advice needed, just lost it with ds over wetting himself ):

31 replies

tennesseyhennessey · 13/12/2012 19:54

im at my wits end with ds. he became dry on his own before his second birthday. we had 3 months of not even a dribble, days out, weddings holidays etc. then he started dribbling in his pants, got him tested for uti which came back clear. in the last 15 months he's had spells of doing really well but now he's wetting alot. he's wet himself fully twice since 5pm and had dribbles in his pants in between. he wet himself before nursery and at nursery.

ive ended up shouting this evening after the 2nd change of p.j.s. his trousers and pants stink of wee. he's 3 years 5 months and apart from 3 dry months when he was first potty trained he's spent most the time wet. ive had enough. he goes to school next september and i worry he'll be bullied for wetting himself.

we have tried sticker charts, ignoring accidents praising toilet, chocolate buttons, bribery and currently ive been putting a nappy on him when he wets simply because he doesnt want to wear one and i was hoping it might work but clearly not!

has anyone any advice?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ilikemysleep · 03/02/2013 23:03

I don't know but I think it's a sensitivity to sensations within the bof=dy thing for my son. I have 3 sons, 1 and 2 toilet trained around age 3 no probs. 3 trained at 2.75 and was dry for about a year - I think during the period he was really concentrating on it. Ever since he has phases of lots of damp pants and phases where it is better. he also has poop accidents quite frequently - just a little bit. He is not constipated, it's not seepage. I think he is just really, really bad at detecting and responding to feelings within his body when he isn't concentrating on them. he is far worse when he is busy doing something - like playing on the computer or reading. He just doesn't seem to notice til the last second.

My sister was very similar and id eventually get there. My Ds is 5 and a half now and we are seeing improvements. We send him to the loo before any burst of concentration - eg playing on the computer, doing homework,wtaching favourite programme - and he is about 95% there now...

BearsLikeMarmalade · 04/02/2013 08:10

Thanks very much for posting fairylights & ilikemysleep, very reassuring. I find myself trying not to sigh inwardly when I see kids DS's age and younger spontaneously ask to go to the toilet.....

I genuinely think DS just doesn't realise when he is concentrating on something. He barely hears me if I ask him anything (inc. non toilet related things), and given his age this feels developmentally OK. I'd just like to not have to prompt him all the time as it feels like I'm trained not him. To try and depersonalise the wetting we often refer to 'sneaky wee' (there is a 'sneaky poo' story used for children who soil, got the idea from there), but yesterday DS told me "its your job to tell me when sneaky wee is coming". I told him it was actually his job, and have started getting him to change pants himself. I can't drop prompts completely as I think its OK at his age to remind him to go before a car journey etc but going to try really hard to reduce them in the house and not to react when he's wet.

Any other pearls of wisdom (or despair!) gratefully received!

BearsLikeMarmalade · 04/02/2013 08:15

Fairylights - by the way DS is nowhere near dry at night either, but as I understand nighttime dryness is a different thing so don't worry about it. The poo sounds a nightmare though...

zigzagzigzag · 04/02/2013 09:19

Can I give some words of comfort and light at the end of the tunnel.

My DS was exactly like some mentioned here and for a year and a half we were carrying extra clothes/poo and wee accidents. Within the last few months he has FINALLY got it (4.5) and takes himself off. I honestly thought I was the only one with this and was so stressed about school.

My learning from this? Don't do it too early and they will eventually get it

BearsLikeMarmalade · 04/02/2013 19:55

Thanks zigzag - guess its like lots of things in that you get there in the end (there was a time when I never thought he'd sleep either....). I never intended to train when we did (he was quite young, 2.3) but at the time he was insistent on wearing pants and seemed keen, so I figured just go with it. Talking to other mums I haven't done anything particularly different with training, he's just never got past the being prompted stage. At least there isn't much to regress from when DC2 arrives!

Holliebidders15 · 17/09/2016 18:38

Bearslike marmalade.... please please can you let me know how you solved your issues? I'm in the exact same boat as you three years ago

Thank you in advance!

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