How does everyone else deal with other children hurting your own children

[Cupcakemummy85]

Hi everyone. Every week I go to a play group and my daughter loves playing there and I love seeing her interact with other children and having a chat to other mums. However, every week my poor daughter gets shoved or hit or her hair pulled by one of the older children (mainly the boys). She is 17 months and has never lashed out at any other child. She is very sensitive and doesn't understand why they r so mean. One child threw a very heavy toy at her that really made her cry and I have to admit it left a lump in my throat. The mother kindly apologised but I didn't see the other child being spoken to or punished. He then returned the following week and rammed a pram into my daughter!! She is just starting to walk but doesn't feel safe enough to do it at that play group :( Every week I get worried about her. It seems some parents never a) keep an eye on their children and b) don't follow up with some discipline. It's very upsetting and I want to know how other mums handle situations like this. I've had enough really.

I tell them off. Don't shout or anything just a "No we don't do that. It's not kind. Play nicely please." And move my child away if necessary.

I tell them off too. Very nicely. In the same way I would talk to my own child. He is 4 now but when we were in situations like you describe I also found it very frustrating. Young children are still learning how to interact, they do throw, and bite sometimes, and act selfishly, and that's why their parent/career should be within arm's reach and ready to help them. I also occasionally went and found the offending child's parent and (also very nicely) explained that their child was repeatedly acting in a certain way and perhaps they could keep a closer eye on them. I must say that didn't always go down very well, but some people need telling! I also stopped going to one playgroup and sought out a slightly more civilised one even though it was a bit out of my way. Good luck!

I would also say something to the child, very nicely, as the others have said. If the behaviour is repeated then find their carer and explain what's going on.

I find playgroups vary massively in how well supervised the children are...I learnt which ones to avoid!

I tried to use it as an opportunity to teach my child how to look after/assert themself. I would take them to one side and if it was a pushy/shovey incident then talk about how to respond in an assertive but non aggressive way. If they were hurt and upset I would chastise the other child if the parent was absent and then comfort but explain that the other child was being unkind.

Its all about learning to deal with other people, and even adults aren't always reasonable, so the lessons need to start young. They do need exposure to it.

Mind you, never felt that reasonable or calm at the time, and could have throttled the odd child or parent along the way

When they're little I think you just have to play with them and keep an eye out for accidents waiting to happen or other dc being aggressive. Then just intervene as necessary - no, she's playing with that just now, no, we don't hit kind of thing.

It isn't very long before your own will be marauding around on a bike or something and then you worry about them hurting the younger ones.

I'd agree that some playgroups are better than others for this.