My son is 11 months old. He will not allow me to leave his sight and sometimes his side when he's playing on the carpet without having a full on screaming fit! He is very clingy and even if I put him in his walker whilst I'm pottering around, he sometimes tugs (happily) on my trousers but if he suspects I'm going to leave his vision, there is a look of panic on his face. I can't even go to the loo without him having a meltdown even if he can see me!
I understand this to be separation anxiety and I know it to be a normal development step children go through but how on Earth do you deal with it? Should I let him cry or do i pick him up and cuddle him every time he cries? A colleague of mine warned me not to keep picking him up but reassure him with my voice. The basis of her advice was because a mutual colleague and friend (we work in a primary school) has a son who had a severe 'case' of SA when he was a baby/toddler and has had a lot of problems settling at school and dealing with change. I'm not sure what to do for the best.
My mum cares for him 2 days a week and the childminder the other 3 days. My DH and childminder suspect that my mum mollycoddles him a lot (which I must admit, he always seems to be in her arms one way or another) and gives him 1:1 constantly whereas their thinking is that some of the time he should spend independently playing with his toys. He cries when he goes to the childminder and will cling to me on Wednesdays (in fact everyday) and the childminder reports that he clings to her most of Wednesdays but by Friday he's a lot better. I know he likes going to the childminder because when DH picks him up he is playing and very smiley and happy. He has also taken to clinging to me when anyone comes to visit including his paternal grandparents who visit every week/ The last two Sundays he has cried when handed to his grandma and on one occasion stopped breathing because he got himself so worked up. He would interact with them from his highchair or walker or when held by me but refused to be held by them which is odd and a new one on me!! But ... he is fine with my mum!!
Is it kind to be cruel or just plain cruel and attend to his every cry, demand and whim???