My 11 month old cries/ whinges constantly! What else can I do???

[CryBaby2305]

DS2 is 11 months old and has always been very high maintenance. I know most babies go through difficult phases, teething, separation anxiety etc but this is more than that. It's constant misery really. He'll be setted, happy playing for a few minutes but then I dare to move or cough or make eye contact and he begins to whinge.

He cries in the pushchair and wants to be carried which is just not always possible when I have a 5 year old too, also he weighs too much to carry him endlessly.

It's not just clinginess, he seems just generally whingy whatever we do. He acts like an over tired baby yet he has 2 naps a day both over an hour long and sleeps through 12 hours a night (I know I am lucky for that!) ...but the days just seem endless. Getting anything done is impossible and I do feel terribly guilty that my older son is just not getting any time with us in the way he did. we are getting more stressed as time goes on which I know doesn't help but we both thought as we approached his 1st birthday it would get better but it's just not!

I am sick of the comments from the parents outside the school always saying how grumpy DS2 is, 'oh he's crying again?' 'oooh what has your mummy done to you this time??' 'Poor baby he never seems happy, is he hungry?' Grrrrr! He eats 3 meals a day, still has 4 milk feeds a day and food doesn't distract him when he's whinging so it's not hunger! He just seems contantly grumpy and irritable.

We've had him at the doctors and tried reflux medication incase it was silent reflux but no change. Been dairy free since he was 12 weeks old as we were desperate but still the crying went on. I took him to a cranial osteopath when he was 4 months old behind DH's back as I was just completely desperate and DH was very sceptical and said it was a waste of money and in our case sadly after 3 sessions it was a complete waste.

What can I do to help him?

how are things now? I am in the thick of it here at 5 months and really struggling

I hope you’re ok. What’s going on? xx

thank you for your reply, my daughter is such hard work and “high needs” as I have found since trailing the internet for some answers/solutions. She’s 5 months now and since week 2.5 we have noticed how “different” she is - she was born wide eyed, super alert from birth, first 2 weeks she was your average sleepy baby eating etc. Since then she’s hardly slept in the day or night, unless she’s attached to me. She needs constant stimulation/entertaining/ gets bored of the activity/toy - 10 mins max. Won’t tolerate a jumper, sit me up, never used a swing/ bouncer - unless it’s a human she isn’t interested, she wants to be held but only facing outwards and in constant motion. Screams when I put her down, wants to be supported to stand/jump, she’s just extremely demanding, hates the car seat, hates the pram ( again, seems to be a issue due to her been “contained”) she goes from 0-1000 with the blink of an eye, she goes to sleep crying, wakes up crying. She does have very happy periods and smiley and people comment on how “happy” she is - but this is when she’s out the house been carried attached to me. I love her to death but I am absolutely burnt out, I’m worried sick she’s going to be this way all her life, unhappy and struggling to adjust to what seems like everyday life x

Wow, reading this post and all the replies is so interesting. I am experiencing the exact same with 11mo daughter. I could have written every single word myself! It’s very reassuring to hear that all these forces of nature have chilled out a bit and all you amazing mums are either through the worst or digging deep and getting through it. I’m there right now! It’s tough going. I get so many comments about how happy and chilled she is, but it’s the total opposite of what she’s like day to day and at home with me. The days are lonnnnnng. I love every single inch of her, but my word, she is hard work. There are a lots of tears from me too. My 5yo also finds it tough. She has commented on the crying herself and I hope it isn’t something she finds triggering as she grows. (I certainly do!). I try so, so hard to deal with the wingeing, whining, screaming and crying as best I can; some days I can deal with it better than others, but I find it incredibly hard. I carry her all day long and it’s so physically hard as well as mentally! I don’t want to wish her life and the baby days away, but I look forward to the days when she is a bit bigger and I can enjoy her more. Sending love and strength to anyone else going through similar, it is very tough and takes a lot of mental strength to keep on going every day when you have a crying, unhappy, frustrated and irritable baby. Thank you to all who have posted on this topic. It’s nice to know you’re not alone despite it feeling like it!!

@hellosparrow Omg your message is so recent and I'm in EXACTLY the same boat. My 11mo was adorable- chilled, independent, cuddly... literally the dream baby! 2 weeks ago she has completely changed personality, she's gone off her food, doesn't want to play and just whinges and cries ALL day! I feel so numb, I just wake each day expecting more and really miss our life before her.

I also have a 5 year old daughter who's starting to get really triggered by the constant crying - luckily she's at school but if she's home she starts shouting at the baby and then ends up in tears herself because we just can't get her to stop whinging.

Mealtimes used to be really fun because DD2 would happily munch away smiling at us all but now its a race to see who can finish fastest between me and my husband before she has her 3 mouthfuls and kicks off destroying the evening for the rest of us.

We go to a playgroup once a week but I might drop it because I basically spend the whole 40 mins trying to stop her from crying. Everyone looks at me with this feigned pity "ohhhh she's just not happy today is she". She never is anymore!!!

im in the exact same boat. My daughter is just 11 months and is the exact same. Also a SAHM and my husband works from home but my daughter is attached to my hip. Gives out no matter if it’s buggy car sitting on my lap . She needs constant attention and is so clingy. I’m just curious I know the age ye all have the same but has it ever been more with your little ones like autism ? I know she’s young but when you google things it does seem to be a symptom of it

I found this post out of desperation. My 11 month is constantly whiney all day and never seems happy. Did anybody else’s baby cry upon going to new places-zoo, family, etc? My baby cries upon going around other people and places.
Been really wondering if it could be autism.

Hi, does anyone have any updates on how their babies are now?
My nearly 1 year old is the same as everyone else’s who has commented.
Its really really hard

Hi has your HV done the 12 month check yet?

Just to say I'm with you. Our 15 month old son had silent reflux and CMPA and spends the day whinging. Life is miserable. Luckily I have a good friend who's little girl was exactly like all the babies above. Her daughter is 10 now and said she is a delight. She did say it didn't get better for her till her girl was around 3 but everyone is different. I'm hoping when my son starts walking it will help a little. It's so hard. I've lost 5 stone in weight with the anxiety. He also doesn't sleep either which is a battle in itself.