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3 year old being shy and doesn't like being around other children

5 replies

20092012 · 29/11/2012 21:03

Hi I really would like a bit of advice by someone who has been through this with their child and would like some advice on what they found helped as I am really upset about my 3year old son who has recently started nursery and does seem to enjoy it but his teacher has said he is quite reserved and don't really interact with the other children if someone will take a toy from him he will let them take it And he will prefer to play on his own and also doesnt talk very much etc... He is 3 years and 4 months to be exact and I was very shocked to hear this as at home he is very talkative, loud even hits and seems pretty confident at home but what the teachers were saying didn't seem like my little boy... He is a bit shy But because it has been 2 mOnths since starting nursery I thought he would have come out of his shell so has anyone else had this with there child???? Also I took him to Playgroup after a few weeks to prehaps boost his confidence and have noticed he doesn't really like it when children are around him! It's as if he gets a bit angry and keeps shouting me, he was never like this I am really worried he will get picked on at school if he doesn't get out of it, I'm that worried I even cry so please I would appreciate anyone who can help xx

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fidelma · 29/11/2012 23:30

Ok he is VERY young. I took my 3 year old boy out of nursery ad it wasn't the right time or place for him. In parts of Germany he would not go to school until he is 7
I do a bit of work in some nurseries and I would not send Any of my dc to them. Horrible places. However you can get fantastic ones. But it is Very important that You realt luke the people you are leaving him with. If you don't then he probably will Also not like them. Yoy may be desperate for sometime to yourself. If this is the case try and get some help in your home. They are just babies at 3.
Ps my older 3 are all St school and now live it but it took a while.

mummyonvalium · 29/11/2012 23:48

I am assuming this is pre-school nursery you are talking about?

Firstly, two months is not that long in terms of settling in. DS started pre-school in January - I would say he has only really settled since september.

Secondly, make a list of the issues that are worrying you; arrange a meeting with his key-worker and ask her how you and she can work together to bring about a more confident child.

The children around him thing I would be careful of reading too much into. I remember when DS1 started nursery and I took him to playgroup in the afternoons he would behave really randomly - it was almost like he was taking all the stress he felt at nursery and channelling it negatively into his play. Not wanting children around him might just be the way he is.

I would say try not to get upset about it and it will all come right in the end (because inevitably most children are well adjusted), but I remember crying myself when I knew my DS was not happy. You do need to be positive for him and try to fill him with a bit of enthusiasm even if it is just an act.

I hope this is helpful. This is just how I dealt with my DC when he was having a rough time.

20092012 · 30/11/2012 10:17

Yes I'm talking about pre school nursery.. Thanku both for replying the thing is I had a parents consultation jus under 2 weeks ago which was with his key worker she never mentioned anything and sed ther wer no concerns he is fine in everything so I'm very confused I have arranged to see his key worker see wer that takes me xxx he has many tantrums at home hits and is a bit naughty but I have noticed its only around me? I introduced the naughty step n didn't work now I try to ignore his tantrums and go to him when he has calmed down, has anyone else experienced this? X

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ZuleikaD · 30/11/2012 11:31

Them saying he's 'fine in everything' probably just means he's no bother to them. If you're worried he's not enjoying it (and he is very little to be developing social skills) then take him out.

20092012 · 30/11/2012 16:47

He loves going there though! I know I'm very confused! Hes happy to go there every morning even when it's a weekend he says he wants to go! Also I can tell He is learning different things everyday

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