Dd's friend has just told a big fib-what to say?

[Molehillmountain]

Dd has a friend for tea and she's just told me in front of dd that she has piano lessons. Not true-and I guess it's pretty common for children that age to tell tall stories. Dd quietly told me its not the case (wasn't how I guessed). What would you say to dd? Want dd to know that it'a not right but be sensitive to her friend (who I think would like to have piano lessons)

How old are they? Tbh I would just leave it, as long as your dd knows not to lie it isn't really an issue.

Your MN name says it all!

I'd leave it.

Year two. I'm thinking the same-don't want to make too much of it and dd does know not to lie. Not that she always sticks to it!

Agree with missymoo, your daughter appears to already know its not right to lie and to be sensitive by telling you quietly not confronting friend. Maybe you could say you were pleased to see her being so sensitive and not embarrassing friend if you feel something needs to be said?

I know myself too well, flubba . Least said definitely the way forward. And least over thought too probably!

:)

Oh leave it.

When I was about that age I used to tell the most ridiculous stories/lies. I told my friend who lived across the road and my own grandparents that I went to boarding school ( too much Enid Blyton). Why? Because my home life at the time was really pants and I lived in different world all in my head.

There will be a reason for these silly see-through lies. Your daughter will suss out if there are too many lies for to want to be mates or if their friendship is worth more than the odd ridiculous lie ( but raises a healthy eyebrow at it).

I have turned out ok. Respectable member of the community etc...
though got a vivid imagination

Leave it. If it was a big issue I'd gently mention to parents. ie if it was "I'm having piano lessons and you're not yah!" and I'd say something along the lines of "Where does your dd have piano lessons, she was talking about them."

For what it's worth she might be having "lessons" with a family member/friend. My ds could say he was having violin "lessons". I think almost everyone we know would state with confidence that he wasn't. I played the violin very badly for a number of years. I bought him a tiny violin at a charity shop and we do 2-5 minutes a day of him bowing and learning the notes. Not really lessons, but he thinks they are.

When I was that age I told my friend and her mum that we used to live in Spain but it was too far for my dad to come to work every day in London. I remember the mum nodding in agreement in all seriousness. I just wanted to say something that sounded interesting.

Yes, say discreetly to your daughter that it was nice she told you quietly that the story was not true rather than confronting her friend. Explain that sometimes people are tempted to make things up that they wish were true, but that really it's preferable not to. Also point out that she likes her friend regardless of whether or not she has piano lessons so friend does not need to try to impress her! My son's friend did this for a while, said he could dive off the highest board, said his aunt was in prison, claimed he was in a play that nobody knew about etc. I think he was anxious not to be excluded from things my son was doing so had to ramp it up to go one step better (not sure about the prison bit though!!). Anyway, after a few incidents like this I said to the friend that we liked him very much just how he was, and that being good friends doesn't mean you have to do everything the same, and then I asked him LOTS about his violin lessons, which he really does have. He seems to have stopped the tall tales now... I guess it was a touch of insecurity, but once his own achievements had been validated that was then OK.

My DD (8 yo) has a friend fond of tall tales. All harmless stuff, for example claiming she has a dog when she doesn't. I keep out of it. DD is aware that X has form for tall tales and takes what she says with a pinch of salt.