Is my 6 yo DD being bullied?

[JaylenAndFrankiesMummy]

May seem a silly question, I mean I should know right. But I don't.

I took my DD into school today to explain that we'd had a very long night with my son being in hospital (he needed stitches in a cut on his hand). What I was met with has shocked me.

DDs teacher told me that she wanted to meet with me anyway as she has concerns about her. She said that lately she had been a very 'unhappy child' who has been crying most days and acting differently. I am meeting to teacher after school today to try and establish what's happened.

A total shock to me - She's appeared perfectly normal at home, no changes or anything. So now I've been looking back. The only things my DD has ever come out with after school is 'I never get the sparkles dress at dressing up cause the same girls snatch it off me'. 'I don't want to take tomato to school cause ---- doesn't like it and nobody will sit with me if I take that'. Also a few weeks ago a boy chucked her hat over the wall and she told me who it was and that he'd apologised and been told off by the teacher. I asked her over the lunch incident if she was happy and had people to sit with and were they being nasty to her and she said no she was happy.

So minor things over a period of time. She never moans about going to school. She can be mardy lately with a bit of attitude but I just assumed this was her age.

Am I missing something completely? Would anybody else have seen those points as alarm bell signs?

So worried 3.15 is a while off and I don't know what to do. An 'unhappy' child is the worst thought in the world for me :(

Hi there, no advice I'm afraid but didn't want to read and run. I really feel for you - my DD is only 4 and no problems at nursery/school thus far, but I know how awful it is to feel that your children are upset/hurting. You must be so worried and I very much hope you get some answers and help/good advice this afternoon. Big un-MN hugs to you and your DD.

From what you've written I wouldn't immediately say "bullying".

I would mention the sparkles dress-it's probably a favourite dress which the more dominate ones claim as theirs-to the teacher so she can make sure that it's shared.
The other things sound normal to me.

But it may be that these things are expressions of how miserable she's feeling. 6yo is when girls strat getting best friends, and stable cliques, so it may be that she's found everyone's partnered/in a group except her.

My dd1 didn't ever directly complain if someone was nasty. It could even be a month or more later when she says "X said Y" and by then there's little you can do. It was her tone when she said a certain name that lead me to make more enquiries which lead to me realising there was a bigger problem.

The fact that your teacher is noticing it is a great thing. Hopefully you can/have worked it out between you. Good luck for the meeting, and let us know how it went.