Shit! I'm not ready for the terrible twos!

[GingerPCatt]

My DS is 17 mo and over the past couple of weeks he's been having tantrums when ever I say no or stop him from doing something. I've been trying to ignore and just get on with whatever I need to do - changing him always sets him off.
What do I do? Any strategies to minimize tantrums?
Yesterday I bought him a toy pushchair and stupidly let him play with it while we waited for the bus. Then when the bus came and I had to stop him playing he screamed cried and tried to escape. He screamed and cried most of the way home.
Any tips from parents who have survived the twos?

Oh dear, you think two is bad? Wait until you get to three

Not helpful much

Remember that tantrums are not naughtiness.

He is having emotions that he is having difficulty controlling (because he's only 17mo old!). Try to be empathetic to his emotions, and vocalise them.

For example, "It sounds like you feel really frustrated that you can't play with your push chair on the bus, and cross with mummy for stopping you." Give him big hugs, if he will let you.

If at home, isolating (for a minute or two) can work really well, if it's viewed as a chance for him to calm down, rather than a punishment for being naughty. This can be a good strategy for children as they get older, and even adults. Ie walking away from the situation to calm down.

DD2 had terrible tantrums well into her 3s, and l had an informal chat with a child psychotherapist that I know through work about her. (i was by this stage considering professional advice, as it was so bad.) She said that all behaviour is for a reason, and it helps to try to find the reason for the anger.

I feel so guilty now that I was not more accepting of the emotions raging within her.

Betty- I'm scared of 3! My friends who have older boys say they go through a testosterone surge at 3 and go a bit nuts.

Autumn- that makes sense about verbalizing his feelings. I'll try that next time. Which will probably be in the next 30 min .?

While I have no experience of the actual terrible twos I must say that between 17 and 21 months, which DD is now she tended to go through phases of tantrumming and they'd usually settle down - often with a development in language - so don't think this is it now, non-stop. I too am dreading them getting worse but touch wood, at the mo, she's OK.

Dd is 19mo and as a pp said, tantrums seem to go in phases. I've also found that giving notice of changing activity etc helps - at 17mo their understanding is really pretty good. So for stopping playing to get on the bus,you could say 'the bus will be here soon and then we'll need to carry your pushchair onto the bus' - pre-empt as much as you can rather than just stop him suddenly. Dd likes to 'help' with nappy changes - she prefers to do it standing up, gets a baby wipe out of the packet, puts the nappy in a sack at the end etc.

I've tried talking to him more and explaining what's going on and why. He still has a bit of a fuss but it's not as much or for as long. Result!
Now I just need to work on his hair pulling... Should say pulling my hair not his .