Bath Terror

[RachelElise]

My 13 month old son is genuinely terrified of his bath. He's never loved them, always just tolerated sitting in the bath. The moment he could stand confidently he would stand in the bath refusing to sit down. We have escalated, since July, from baleful acceptance to hysterical shaking and proper terror. I have tried the following:

• getting in with him

• new toys

• bubbles and no bubbles

• him getting in with DH while I'm right next to the bath

• baby bath filled and in the bath

• baby bath filled and on the floor next to the bath

Each thing I try seems to terrify him more and more - I feel his tiny heart beating faster and faster as I carry him towards the bath and am at a complete loss now. I am going to do a few nights off bathing, with a sponge down in the nursery instead to give him a break. But what to do after that?

Help?

PS no bad experiences in water.... and a feisty little chap in all other areas.

tricky one - my friends lb is 22 months the same as mine, and he hates the bath. but my friend doesnt have a routine etc. so when he came to mine 3 nights in a row, i bathed him....with toys and bubbles and made loads of noise and played...Sounds harsh, but the first night he cried the entire time, about 10 minutes, and it didnt bother me, its different hearing someone else's child cry, but its a lot easier not to react to it and get wound up by it... equally, he cried the second night for less time, and by the 3rd night, he screamed at having to get out... its hard but hope you crack it.. good luck xxx

Have you tried playing in the bathroom with him, then playing in an empty bath?

Hi SamanthaChitty - We do have a routine, quite a clockwork one, but he doesn't seem to be scared/dread it - even when I'm running the bath - only when he's lifted in. I'm not averse to tough love but the state he is in when we put him in the bath is true hysteria. If I just left him in there, which we did last night for half a minute or so, he gets increasingly hysterical, shaking like a leaf and gasping for air. My instinct is that he needs to see the bathroom as a happy and fun place - too much of last night's performance might poison that forever! Thank you though - if the shiny happy route doesn't work I may well draft someone else in to bathe my contrary little boy!

Hi LadyMary - He does play in the bathroom quite happily but haven't tried him in the bath when it's empty - Thank you, I'll give it a go...

Good luck Is he the same when you go swimming?

Swimming varies.... we started him on swimming to get over this after a couple of months of standing up in the bath, and he sometimes enjoys it and sometimes doesn't - much the same as any child I suppose. None of the terror that is associated with the bath. I thought it might be a form of claustrophobia - with the bath going over his head level, and him feeling enclosed but it was the same with the baby bath on the floor last night. might try baby bath on kitchen floor - lots of open space, less cramped than bathroom. Feels like I'm going backwards in time....!

Lots of toddlers are afraid of the bath, so you're not alone. Sometimes they don't like feeling closed in, sometimes it's the water, sometimes they are just fussy. I wouldn't force him to have a bath though, it will just make things worse. There's always the kitchen sink if all else fails

Thank you.... it feels like every single one of my friends have cheerful little waterbabies!

A shower with Mum or Dad?

We had a phase of this too, at around the same age. On thing that worked was getting a doll and doll bath (got one on amazon for about a fiver) and letting her fill the doll bath and bath the dolly while we were giving her a wash. Then we filled the bath and let her put dolly in the normal bath. After a few days, she wanted to go in with dolly.

Now we have the problem of persuading her to get out!!

My DS was the same. We got this bath and he now loves bath time. A shower is an alternative, it's much quicker than a bath if its the water he's terrified of.

Thanks all... I am going to try a shower I think. Plus I've just spent far too much money on Amazon on some psychotic looking bath toys and a set of bath crayons I'm bound to regret. Something has to work.... In the first instance though I'm going to give him a break of a couple of days so the last couple of attempts are firmly forgotten.

I'll let you all know what finally works (and what spectacularly doesn't...)

Just to add, I found that if DS had cold feet before he got in the bath he hated it as the water felt too hot. Now I make sure he has slippers and socks on before bathtime and never had a problem since.

Oh we had bath crayons too - they're fab! The other thing you could try is going in the bath and letting him watch you have all the fun with the bath toys - dd got most put put that I was having all the fun one bath time and insisted that she needed to get in too.

We found that as well as bath crayons, 'dollop' was fantastic (big tubs of aqueous cream that the DC would smear around the bath etc - quite harmelss but suitably messy for them - they loved it!

Hi all,

just thought I would update you on what we finally did (are still doing) and have so far had success with! I put some cheap ikea bathmats in the bath (so it was comfy and not cold) and then put a basin of water in with his toys. Just add naked baby. A week or so of sponge baths while he slams his toys around in the basin, sitting dry(ish) on his mats. I then did a few days of a very low level of water, so the mats are just under water, which he still sat in and then stamped around on and am gradually building the water higher and higher (still got the mats down, think it helps grip? though a towel would do just as well i'm sure) I still have the bowls of water to give the illusion that he is not currently sitting in water himself and so far (TOUCH WOOD!!!) he's loving his waterless baths! I worry that it all gets a bit cold but he seems fine and now just rages when I take him out... hope this helps any other water haters out there...