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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Ds is driving people mad on public transport. What can I do?

31 replies

foxinsocks · 31/03/2006 11:14

Ds (4) is one of those children who is wildly enthusiastic about life. When things are going well for him, everything is brilliant but when things don't go his way, he is nigh impossible.

However, his absolute favourite thing is going on the train/bus and as we are in London, we do this a fair bit. HOWEVER, he drives EVERYONE mad with his constant commentary of the journey and I have REALLY tried to distract him - I read him stories, I point out stuff out the window, try and play eye spy etc. but none of it works for longer than a few minutes. I've tried to tell him off and asked him to speak quieter but none of it works for long and I really am struggling to know what to do next.

e.g. on the train yesterday as we get on
'where is the train going' 'why hasn't it gone yet' 'we are at Kingston' 'look it's Kingston' 'why are we at Kingston' 'why haven't we left the station yet' 'why have we left Kingston' and literally it continues. He hardly pauses for breath. I thought it would wear off but it hasn't and it really does piss people off (and my gawd, it gives me a headache).

I love him dearly and I love his enthusiasm but is there anything I can do to try and calm him down slightly?

OP posts:

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kipper22 · 31/03/2006 11:17

think the miserable people should just learn to deal with it! let him be enthusiastic and let them be old and grumpy (as long as it's not bothering you too much!) he's just being a kid ffs. sorry, but people like that really wind me up - ds is only a baby and has a new habit of high ptched happy screams - you should see the looks i get for that!

mumatuks · 31/03/2006 11:18

oh bless him!
I haven't got any advice for you but it reminded me of my DB at youre sons age. He used to go in to town on the bus with my mum. He's insist on sitting upstairs. At the top of a very steep hill he would shout with out fail "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" it would have all the old grannies on the bus holding on for dear life!
He once told one of them "you shouldn't be smoking up here, that window says no smoking!"
You cold be really mean and tell your DS that the driver won't leave the station until everyone is quiet (inc. him!) or just let him outgrow it?
Bless him, he sounds a little sweety!

vkr · 31/03/2006 11:18

Why try
He sounds great - I have a 3.7 ds who is exactly the same
I find that other travellers either smile indulgently at him or try to ignore him. I'm not bothered what they think - unless it is the smile and then I am pleased. Living in your own bubble I find the happiest place to be - I seem to be sounding v hippy for this time in the morning

Blu · 31/03/2006 11:20

How do you know it pisses people off? It sounds like natural enthusiastic 4 year old chatter to me, I think peopole should put up with that for the duration of a short journey. Better than adults booming down mobile phones etc.
DS is pretty vocal too. Sometimes if i suggest a game like 'the first person to see....' he will remain silent and peer intently out of the window. You can chose something which you know is a little way away, and see if you get 3 mins respite!

starlover · 31/03/2006 11:20

ok talk quietly to him... if you speak in a low voice he will have to keep quieter to hear you

when he asks you a question ask him what he thinks
"why are we at kingston?"
"why do YOU think we're at kingston?"

get's them thinking and can help break the long cycle of quetions!

Hausfrau · 31/03/2006 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mythumbelinas · 31/03/2006 11:28

ahh he's just a 4 yo, he can't help it. Let him enjoy his journey :)
I can imagine other passengers getting annoyed, esp if they are trying to read, but most are miserable commuters anyway.
They probs look up to show you their dissaproval and that they 'notice' it, but funnily, when i was pregnant and commuted to work every week day till i was 8 months pregnant, most men never noticed and kept their head buried in their book/newspaper. Seats were given up by women mostly.

kleggie · 31/03/2006 11:38

I don't drive and spend half of my life on public transport. Over enthusiastic children never annoy me, in fact they brighten up the journey.

People who are annoying on public transport:

Man doing boring self-important business on mobile phone
Woman crying to best friend on mobile phone
Mobile phone ring tones
Private conversations on mobile phones
Acned teenager taking up two seats, scowling at anybody who tries to sit next to him
Anybody with headphones on, but music so loud that I can still hear it
Sweet-valley high teenagers gushing 'he was so like cool like you know' ad infinitum
Anybody sitting in the pushchair space when there is room elsewhere
Anybody with BO
People who sit in front of me with twigs/leaves/anything/delete as appropriate in their hair- desperately want to fish offending item out
Woman wearing strong perfume
Man wearing strong aftershave
The slightly mad man on the 25 bus who spits at people
Teenagers in 'love'- visibly demonstrating their affection through the medium of tongues and tonsils

So, your lovely little boy is probably a breath of fresh air...

Caligula · 31/03/2006 11:42

Sorry, lots of people are a pita on public transport, but if you don't like it, don't use public transport. If anyone has a problem with your DS being a child, it's their problem, not yours.

Being a parent means there are enough real problems with children. I wouldn't waste time and brain-space worrying about non-problems. Enjoy your bus journeys and your DS's enthusiasm - you'll miss it when he turns into Kevin the teenager and just grunts at you when you try to make conversation.

Caligula · 31/03/2006 11:43

lol at the man who spits at people.

paolosgirl · 31/03/2006 11:43

So just about everyone, then, kleggie??!

Kathy1972 · 31/03/2006 11:48

He sounds like a cutie.
He is probably brightening up lots of people's days - of course you will get a few scowls but then there are some people who think everyone should be completely silent on public transport (me if I've got a hangover) but why take any notice of them?

Caligula · 31/03/2006 11:49

ha ha kathy - I read "he sounds like a cutie" as the man who spits at people does.

Not my idea of a cutie!

edam · 31/03/2006 11:49

PMSL at Kleggie's list. I honestly think most people don't mind; some people actively enjoy it - brightens their miserable journey; and some people are just miserable and there's nothing you can or should do about that.

People on public transport often look grumpy anyway - delayed trains, waiting ages for a bus, never puts you in a good frame of mind. Unless you are four and have that lovely enjoyment of even the simplest things. Bless him!

(Ds does it too btw - running commentary: 'I like a tube train', 'I like a station', even 'I like a door'!)

kleggie · 31/03/2006 11:55

Not everybody paolosgirl. I don't annoy me and neither would foxinsocks' ds. Everybody else however, they universally drive me potty!

NotQuiteCockney · 31/03/2006 11:57

Where are you, kleggie? The 25 goes by my house, more or less. (We're between the 25 and the 8, just east of the 277.)

I haven't run into the guy who spits on people, but I try to avoid public transit (and don't drive), and until I got the Oyster, the 25 was tricky, anyway.

sfxmum · 31/03/2006 11:59

being in london and using public transport regularly i am looking forward to my dd starting talking like thatwhat a cutie!
amused at list feel very much the same.

a few fair years back i was working with adults who have LD, one woman used to keep going like

oh darling not sure about the train
oh darling is it safe? oh here we go.. do you think we are going to die?
do you think it will crash? you know it might...

not so funny these days but amused me a lot, she wasn't really scared at all

kleggie · 31/03/2006 12:14

Aah, it's not a London 25, thank goodness. Public transport in London is not like public transport anywhere else! My list of annoying people on public transport would triple if I had to travel anywhere in London on a regular basis.

NotQuiteCockney · 31/03/2006 12:37

Ah, right.

Silly me, stuck in my "London is the universe" world model.

Blu · 31/03/2006 12:47

LOL at your list Kleggie!

I agree - I love listening to children chatter on buses and trains - and would much rather that than the poor little mites left to stare into space knowing that thier Mums will never talk to them, or sat facing the wall in their buggies and not talked to. THAT pisses me off on public transport!

DS is horribly precoscious on public transport - that embarrasses me! He was 3 when some tourists behind us said 'where do we get off for tate?' and DS said 'It's not callled Tate, it's called Tate Modern!'. Mentally, my cheeks went a shade known as 'Guardian Pinko'.

LucyJones · 31/03/2006 12:50

agree with Kleggie - an enthusiastic 4 year old would not annoy or irritate me at all!! It's when they turn round in their seats and just stare at me that makes me uncomfortable!

NotQuiteCockney · 31/03/2006 12:52

My DS1 is big on asking good questions. Like "Why is that man wearing a hat which has a tube sign on it?". Me: "I don't know, sweetie. People don't have to ask me before they buy hats." The man giggles, everyone is happy.

I don't think noisy questions are a problem on public transport, well, not for others. It's clear it's bugging you. I think he will calm down over time.

Blu · 31/03/2006 12:57

I was on a bus with DS and DP, who were sitting a little way away from me. Suddenly DS shouts loudly across the crowded bue 'eeeergh, mummy, Daddy's farted', and starts struggling through the crowd to sit with me, complaining all the way to DP about the smell. I shot DP an evil look, while trying to shush DS, DP gave me a 'not me' look, and the woman behind him was looking more and more embarrassed.

arfissimeau · 31/03/2006 13:22

I don't have a car in Sydney (our UK house is in Kingston and you made me all nostalgic!) and so we do public transport all the time with DD (3.4).

People always smile and enjoy her chatter. A little while ago the bus driver even commented on her chatting away throughout the journey.

As long as he's not really loud or obviously pointing out people's defects then I'd just answer him in a quiet voice. It's better than wailing/hurling to the floor/trying to run up and down the bus surely?

arfissimeau · 31/03/2006 13:23

PMSL Blu! DD would have pointed her out.

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