DD (2.6) asking for breast milk despite the fact that I stopped when she was 13mo.

[NoToastWithoutKnickers]

DD knows that when she was tiny she had all her milk from me. It's come up in conversation both when I've been in the bath and when we've been around new borns bfing. She knows I don't have any milk left.

A few months ago she started asking for milk and when I went to the fridge she'd say "no, I want mummy milk". It didn't last very long, but twice in the last week when she's been really tired and teary she's begged me for mummy milk. She touches my boobs and says "pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase!" It's like she knows it would be a comfort.

I've been finding it quite upsetting because I'd love to be able to soothe her with a feed if I could, but I can't and she doesn't understand

Has anyone else experienced this?

Sucking on a mummys nipple unless she has milk in those nipples is weird and misleading to the child imo!

She clearly needs comforting and reassurance which she should get, but not through a milkless boob.

Are you saying Shalli that only BF babies got comforted or that now a 2/3 yr old can not be comforted in any other way? That cuddles wouldn't suffice.

IMO any woman attempting to do this is doing it for some reason inside themself and not for dc benefit.

But when you need comfort, ShalliShanti, do you ask to suck your mother's nipple? Or a friend perhaps?

Rather than what shall i do i read your post as asking why is this? Is it normal? I wouldnt worry too much, it doesn't sound too weird and I think you should not get too het up or make a big deal.

What do you think has sparked this off. Is it an expression of going through a clingy phase or clinginess related to a change in her life. Have you or someone else been paying a lot of attention to a small baby? Is she just exploring or working out what she can and can't do? I'd prob try and find a way of helping her feel calm and secure as others said up thread and ride it out.

She has been weaned, she can't bfeed and it won't do her any harm to learn that sometimes you just can't get what you want (ooh I'm harsh but you know what I mean) Much better to learn she can't do it by you having it explained by you than by finding out for herself and much less embarrasing when she announces the resumption of breast feeding at toddlers.

Although seriously I do think finding out you can't have everything is part of toddler development and will do her no harm.

Rather than what shall i do, I read your post as asking why is this? Is it normal? I wouldnt worry too much, it doesn't sound too weird and I think you should not get too het up or make a big deal.

What do you think has sparked this off. Is it an expression of going through a clingy phase or clinginess related to a change in her life. Have you or someone else been paying a lot of attention to a small baby? Is she just exploring or working out what she can and can't do? I'd prob try and find a way of helping her feel calm and secure as others said up thread and ride it out.

She has been weaned, she can't bfeed and it won't do her any harm to learn that sometimes you just can't get what you want (ooh I'm harsh but you know what I mean) Much better to learn she can't do it by you having it explained by you than by finding out for herself and much less embarrasing when she announces the resumption of breast feeding at toddlers.

Although seriously I do think finding out you can't have everything is part of toddler development and will do her no harm.

I admit, I saw the first response and ran away and hid. So relieved I've come back to read that I'm not the only one slightly put off by that advice

When I was bfing, my boobs were for the sole use of DD and her needs. They are now for new boyfriend who has made them hyper sensitive with all the attention he gives them (sorry if TMI but my XH never showed much interest so it's become quite a big thing for me ) It would be very strange to offer them to her again now. If I hadn't stopped I would have no problem with it, but I did so I do.

Thank you for all the advice. I always do cuddle her close and explain why. I was just interested to see how common it is.

Thanks again

Welove I'm not shocked at the idea of bfing her if I hadn't given up in the first place. It's just the change of use of my boobs iyswim!

I really didn't think there would be any memory with how long it's been since I stopped.

I didn't think so either. I bf my first 3 DC's, though not for as long, and within a week or two of there being no milk left, they had all forgotten having been bf.

DS3 just will not forget, and can become inconsolable when I remind him that my milk has all gone. It's been over 9 months now - why hasn't he forgotten too?

I only fed him to a year, DD was fed to 6 months and had forgotten almost instantly.

She won't remember being bf, it's probably because as you say she's seen other babies being bf. I think if she brings it up again you should just explain that it's how mums feed their babies and now she's older she has other food etc

I don't know why you would find it sad that people think it odd to suddenly start nursing child when they havnt been bf for over a year

Noone has said they think extended bf is odd, just that it would be weird to start up again after so long.

Moonin - my DS3 has never seen another baby being bf, my friends DC's were either bottle fed from birth or were not fed for as long as him. I know nobody with younger babies that are currently bf.

It's not possible to explain like that in my DS3's case.

DS is 4 and recently asked for milk from me. He was weaned 2 years ago. I assumed it was just one of his ridiculous jokes and ignored it (in a friendly way). DD was weaned 2 months ago and hasn't asked for it since.

I find the whole idea of bf totally now, having done it for 4.5 years straight. Conversely, my friend let her toddler try bf about 18 months after he'd been weaned, because he kept going on about it. He didn't have a clue how to do it and never asked again. I didn't feel about her doing it. Horses for courses and all that.

It sound different in your ds's case though, you say he has never forgotten which I took to mean it's something he has regularly brought up or continued to try to do from the time you stopped.

The op has said her dd has seen other babies being bf and has been told that she was too as a baby, it doesn't seem that it's something she remembers.

No, I don't think she remembers it. It was more the awareness that it would be a comfort to her when upset. It was almost instinctive: I need comfort. BF = comfort and nothing else will do. As it is though she just has to settle for cuddles.

NoToast if it's any consolation, my DD (2.7) has also started asking to bf. The kicker is that the little minx never successfully bf in the first place... Tried for 9 days, midwife advised going to bottles so we did!

It's not beyond the realms of possibility that she's just being a typical 2yr old pickle. I have just been saying that Mummy's boobs don't have milk in them any more, so she'll have to xyz instead.

It might not be about comfort as much as exploration etc.

My friend has a ds, when he was around 3 he started asking for bf he would beg and cry. Friend didn't let him have any but it turned out a little while later that at the time he was asking for it she was newly pg and didn't know.

Oh crap! I'd better not be pg!!

Well I don't know if inneed said it was disgusting before being deleted. Other people have said it's a little odd or weird when the op isn't producing milk anymore.

I hope ds3 doesn't decide he wants bf when this baby arrives, especially as he refused to entertain it as a baby and I spent months expressing which was a real pita!

And this is well over a year after the op has stopped, not a few months.

I considered restarting when ds3 was getting on for 7 months but decided it would be too weird and probably upsetting to start feeding him bm that should have been for his baby brother who was born too early.

I'm sure I wouldn't want to restart at 2.6 after having stopped for so long, in the same way I wouldn't reintroduce a bottle or dummy if they hadn't had one for so long, regardless of if they saw it as a comfort.