Hi
This is long I am afraid. I am quite anxious about this so have put some background down about my DD. I apologise if some of it sounds like boasting but in order to work out if there is a problem I have put quite a bit about what she can do at the moment.
My DD is a lively, happy child. The HVs has always said she is advanced for her age at all her checks. Personally I don't know if this is really the case but I know we have had no worries in her meeting her milestones etc. Intellectually - she could read the alphabet sounds and names, all her numbers by the time she was 2. Knew her shapes and colours. She can read some words, incredibly proficient at using my laptop and iPad. She plays games and puzzles on them which are supposed to be for 4 yrs plus.
She is vocal about her needs, chatty, enquiring and displays plenty of creativity. She was yelling today then pretending to close a glass door then miming through it to me. She loves making me giggle. She seems to be able to grasp concepts, often tells me about her dreams. She is fascinated at how things work and what they are - informed me today that the water comes through the pipes which are 'behind the wall' and then through the taps today. She is good at taking things apart and fixing them as well. She has fixed a toy I have been unable to before now. No worries about motor skills there.
She shows plenty of empathy, I've had 'head plasters' and kisses all day because I have had a nasty migraine. If me and DH have even the slightest tone to our voice when talking, she makes us hold hands and hug each other. This has diffused plenty of arguments! She has started announcing when she is 'happy' and telling us voluntarily that she loves us. Fabulous :)
However, she has always been quite shy out and about and until recently was terrified of loud noises, and too much sensory input. She claps her hands over her ears if too much is going on. I gave up taking her to a singing group because she would clutch on to me and beg to 'go home' shaking and terrified, which was quite distressing to experience. She is much better in small groups or one on one interaction. She simply won't talk to people she has only just met and I also have friends she has known forever who she is completely mute around. It is quite frustrating. Other stuff - issues with textures and clothing, certain things 'hurt'/ 'scratchy' and so on. HV suggested I leave her to run around nude at home as long as she wasn't too cold. I compromise with her. Clothes off at home, on if we need to go out. She has a soft fleece she wraps around her if she needs it.
She has started nursery, a few hours a week. Only been for six weeks. Amazingly she has settled in so well. She loves it and can't wait to go back. She seems to love being surrounded by the children as, apart from older kids who live over the road and her cousins who are 4, she doesn't have much social interaction. She is the youngest at the nursery as the rest of them are all over three.
The other day, in front of a number of other parents, as I was picking DD up, her keyworker decided to chat to me about DD's progress. She informed me that she was concerned with her socialization skills and that on observing her closely today noted that my DD doesn't actually talk to the other children and still seems to be engaging in paralell play. She asked me if DD talks much at home, if we have any concerns about her development/ interaction and seemed really surprised, almost disbelieving when I said DD plays with her cousins quite well. I asked if I could talk to her about it parents evening as didn't feel it was the time and the place. Keyworker agreed and said she has a 2 year development tick list she would like to go over with me to check that DD is meeting age appropriate goals and if there are any areas where she is underdeveloped and that they can work on. Key worker is concerned about DD not engaging with people and focusing on doing tasks such as playdoh/craft and concentrating not interacting for long periods of time.
This has sent me into a spin. I KNOW I am probably overreacting but this is the first feedback I have had about my DD in a social setting. My HV was more than happy with her progress at her 2 year check, so is there a problem? DH tells me not to worry but I am. Is there stuff that I am not seeing? Children behave differently when they are out don't they? Has she dropped behind and have I just overlooked it? Socially, what should they be doing at this age? I am guessing the nursery have had longer to observe her than the HV did.
Am I being an idiot. I feel very anxious about it all, for the first time ever as a parent.
Thank you for reading if you have got this far!