Would you be worried if your 30 month old was like this?

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

Doesn't share on own initiative
Is happy playing alone
Is more comfortable in adult company
Doesn't have little friends around to play

HV is now monitoring my DD as she believes she has socialisation issues, and will struggle with nursery.

I had no concerns whatsoever, but now I do :(

DS is 33 m.o. and is exactly as you describe in the OP.

He needs time to play on his own or he gets increasingly tantrummy (as we found during a week's holiday with his full-on-exciting grandparents). DH is the same - he is just an introverted data processor (though he has plenty of friends and does work requiring very good people skills).

When another child approaches he shouts at them to go away and at me to put them in the bin.

We go to the same 2 groups + swimming class every week and have a few friends with toddlers we see regularly one-on-one (most go to our groups). I'd never describe them as DS's 'little friends' - he mostly wants them to go away (usually into the bin). He is starting to watch and want to see what other children are doing though.

I'm not planning to send him to nursery though so I don't need to worry about that aspect of it.

I agree some of those are daft questions - I'm not sure a 2 y.o. can be spiteful, and as someone else said, having friends round is to do with whether the parents can/want to arrange it, not social competence.

Also IME some are so into their own interests at this age it's hard for them to 'socialise' in a more involved way with their peers. I can't imagine DS finding another child his age who wants to talk about sequences of odd and even numbers, the difference between electric trains and multiple units, or the various different routes you can take to get from our house to places x, y or z. I don't know what he'd talk to his peers about!

Don't worry, she will have her very own personality - which may, or may not, turn out to be similar to yours !
Children are very much their own person and I sometimes think we parents kid ourselves how much we can influence them wrt personality traits.

Having said that, being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses is never a bad thing, and it sounds like you are doing a fair bit to give her the chance to socialise etc. She may or may not take to it, but as said before at under 3 it is a bit early to tell.

I know where you're coming from, Fine - i'm really shy too, and find it really hard to talk to other people in social situations.

I've found that DD is quite happy to mingle with other people, but like you, it's mainly adults, and she doesn't spend a lot of time with other children at all.

but then, I had a friend at uni, who was the most outgoing confident person you'd eve wish to meet, and she said that her mum used to take her to places where there were always just adults around - she reckoned that it's the interaction with adults all her life that's made her so confident.

I thought this thread had died! Thanks again for all your reassurance, I took DD to a toddler group this morning and observed closely. She seems to be at least as advanced as the other toddlers except she is much less aggressive and hyperactive. Are those important toddler traits?

I had it open overnight so I could read it properly this morning!

revel in it if she's less aggressive and hyper - that'll come and you'll wish it didn't (according to my mum, who thought she had a placid child in me until I hit 3yo!)