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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

did i get what i deserved here or is ds1 very naughty?

25 replies

festiveface · 28/03/2006 13:00

at the weekend ds1 was bugging us to let him do some gardening (only have a yard but likes to plant things)
so, we took him to B & Q and bought lots of plants and stuff for him.
Anyway, it started to rain, so , he went out in the rain to do it (his choice)

after some time he decides to come in but instead of taking shoes off outside etc ( as he knows to do)he walks in absolutely covered in muck, dropping it all over my new white kitchen!

so, he now had no shoes on but because his hands are caked in it, i, (getting all uppity and cross) shooed him outsde to rinse them with the watering can and he starts crying that his feet are getting wet.
because he's making such a huge fuss me and dh started sniggering and what does he do? turns around shouts at me and chucks the watering can of water all over me as i'm stood in the doorway!

ended up beng sent to his room.

what do you think? He's 10 btw

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itdoesntmatter · 28/03/2006 13:02

bit of both I would say.
he shouldn't have come in wearing his shoes, but why did you make him go outside to wash his hands???

WigWamBam · 28/03/2006 13:03

I hate to say it but I think you probably asked for it a little bit ...

Twiglett · 28/03/2006 13:04

think he was being naughty and whingy ..

but you did laugh at him .. I can appreciate the impulse .. not the action .. but the impulse makes me snurk

wouldn't stop me grounding him though

Feistybird · 28/03/2006 13:04

I would've done exactly the same as your DS at that age (but subsequently would've got a thick ear)

cupcakes · 28/03/2006 13:09

I can understand why you laughed but also why it made him chuck the water over you!

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 13:18

i sent him outside because the soil and muck was all over his hands getting daubed everywhere.
i was actually shocked he chucked water at me, i wouldn't have dared when i was his age!

OP posts:

itdoesntmatter · 28/03/2006 13:19

but why couldn't he use the kitchen sink? couldn't yuo have turned the taps on for him?

yes, I would have been cross at the shoe thing. But I wouldn't have sent my ds out in the rain with no shoes on to wash his hands with a watering can!

who is the child here?

gomez · 28/03/2006 13:34

I would have wanted to react the same way as your DS but at 10 wouldn't have dared!

But probably wouldn't have got that uptight about the dirt he brought into the kitchen in the first instance. If it can be cleaned up without lasting damage or too much hassle I tend not to bother that much. Particulary at the 10 when he could have helpd clean up the mess.

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 13:45

itdoesntmatter, he was stood in the doorway dropping dirt from hands and clothes. he was already wet and the watering can was just outside the door, i just wanted him to rinse the worst of it off and then get cleaned up inside. obviously not the best idea but it was just what i said at the time.
btw this wasn't meant to be an overly serious question/debate and asking 'who is the child here' is a bit snotty imo

OP posts:

itdoesntmatter · 28/03/2006 13:48

you asked a question and I replied. if you wanted everyone to agree with you then why ask?
All I meant was that your reaction to what he did was just as bad as him coming in all muddy, and at the end of the day he is 10 years old and you are an adult!

If you were forced to go outside in the rain with no shoes on and wash your hands with a watering can how would you feel?

itdoesntmatter · 28/03/2006 13:49

while 2 adults stood and laughed at you

itdoesntmatter · 28/03/2006 13:49

why should he treat you with respect if you don't do the same to him?

Blu · 28/03/2006 13:53

I think it was ok to send him to his room - but I think you should apologise to him for laughing at him.

LadySherlockofLGJ · 28/03/2006 13:53

after some time he decides to come in but instead of taking shoes off outside etc ( as he knows to do)he walks in absolutely covered in muck, dropping it all over my new white kitchen!

What is more important ??

Your DS or your new white kitchen.

Horrified that you sent a child out to was their hands with no shoes on.

It would be worse if he was stuck in front of a play station.

footiemad · 28/03/2006 14:14

Did he have fun in the garden? [sorry]

I understand why you reacted to the mud bit(i've got a 10 yr old),but i thought you were talking about a 4,5,6 yr old, my 10yr old would react in exactly the same way if we laughed at him.

Raggydoll · 28/03/2006 14:21

i think this is very normal family fun - stuff that years of telling the story 'remember when x threw water over mum and got grounded'- brilliant. i have great childhood memories just like these. and I was a very obedient child mostly'. also don't think its a big deal that he washed his hands outside ??? it probably took about 1 minute and saved loads on clearing up. after all he is 10 not 2.

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 14:26

ye, footiemad, he had enjoyed himself !
i know i shouldn't have chuckled but he looked so silly, he only had to step off the doormat for a second onto the paving in socks that were wet through anyway( that hadn't been bothering him for the last hour)to quickly rinse hands.
i didn't think that was a big deal. i shouldn't have laughed but i'm sure my parents saw things funny that i didn't at that age too.
I wouldn't have dared chuck water over my mother though!
anyway, i'll try to be the perfect mother from now on and turn a blind eye to any mess and dutifully clean it up later as i've obviously been a horryifyingly bad mother so far !

OP posts:

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 14:26

thanx raggydoll, thats what i thought.

OP posts:

footiemad · 28/03/2006 14:36

Didn't mean to offend festiveface!
I'm with you. but prob would have let him wash his hands in the sink.
I think our patience with situations varies so much according to how we are that day.Another day maybe you would have laughed at how muddy he was and got on with cleaning up.
Also he prob threw water out of frustration because he was having such a good time,then everything went t**s up. Been there, know how you felt.

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 14:43

oh no footiemad, it wasn't you who offended me! Cross wires there i think.
i understood your humor

OP posts:

bossykate · 28/03/2006 14:45

i think throwing water over you is outrageous behaviour whatever the provocation. sorry.

footiemad · 28/03/2006 14:47

If it had been the summer she prob would have chucked a bucket back! eh festiveface?

Original poster

festiveface · 28/03/2006 14:59

that was really what i was asking in the beginning bossykate, thanx for giving your opinion without criticising me! i was expecting opinions on whether his behaviour was bad because i had sent him to hs room for it and wondered whether i should have done.
I don't think what i did was any big deal really, and i know i shouldn't have laughed.

surprised it has 'horrified' some people!

yeah, i'll get him back come summer footiemad

OP posts:

edam · 28/03/2006 15:05

Agree with bossykate, throwing water at you was wrong and he had to be punished. But you were a bit mean (I remember how FURIOUS it made me feel when my parents laughed at me). Maybe when you've made up, offer to help him next time?

stoppinattwo · 28/03/2006 18:33

My DCs go absolutely bananas if they think im laughing at them, its very hard for them to know when im laughing with them or at them, either way I become the worlds worst!!

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