5 and a half yr old DS still has poo issues. No idea how to solve this.

[Shybairns]

Ever since I began to potty train DS it wasn't an easy process.
We started in the January before his 3rd b,day and gave up after a few weeks. Then on his 3rd Birthday, at the start of May, he said he wanted to be a big boy and wear pants, so we started again. It was Christmas before I could say he was actually there.

But poos have remained an issue. He goes every day. And now wipes his own bottom.
But every day, instead of going straight to the toilet when he feels a poo coming, he sits on his bottom to hold in the poo. Then over the next hour or so poo will escape into his pant. How much depends on the size and consistency of the poo. Whih for most people varries depending on what you've been eating.

I can say to him when I smell him trumping, "don't have an accident today , the toilet is just there." Then I can come back to him later and the poo has escaped into his pants. And I am cross and send him to the toilet. He is old enough to understand what is expected of him.

He often comes home from school stinking. If the teachers smell it they'll ask him if he needs a poo. And this week it was so bad he had to borrow some school pants.

He has said that other children have smelt it. And one girl commented that she thought he must be dirty. No child of mine is going to be teased for being dirty or smelly. Not when I try so hard to give them excellent care.

His teacher encouraged him to poo at school this week. She told him he could have a special sticker once he'd done one. And apparently he duely went and did one. I was beyond thrilled to hear this, and niavely thought we were about to crack the problem. He had loads of praise and was very pleased with himself. He then went to a friends after school. And when I collected him he had pooed in his pants. I was crushed.

Yesterday we go to football class and I smelled him. He was just starting to play with coach and friends. I had to drag him out of class and go straight home. No football if poo in pants.

I am also taking his DS off him the next day if he's pooed his pants. He's only allowed it for an hour after school. If pants clean.

Long winded I know. And I'm so greatful if you are still reading.

No idea how to crack this. He's five and a half and appears to not care that he's sitting in poo and stinking. He's very bright ohterwise.

Help!

Hi Shybairns, some experience of this professionally. I'd definitely second a trip to the GP, just in case. BUT, it sounds as if you are really on to something with the sticker chart, so I would keep going down that line too. However, with sticker charts, you've got to get them just right, or they go tits up, as you have found. I always tell parents to not give a deadline (e.g. 6 stars by Saturday) or insist on getting the stars all in a row, because if it goes pear-shaped half way through, the kid can't succeed, and gives up. If it was me, I'd tell your son that he'll get a small reward after three stars - doesn't matter how long it takes him to get them - even if it takes a week, that's ok, he still gets the reward. Other tips for making star charts work - put the star up straight away after the poo, never, never, never take a star off the chart, even if your child is completely vile, and give the reward as soon as possible after they hit the target. Also, don't put sad faces / crosses etc on the star chart if there is an accident - star charts are meant to be records of achievement that your child can be proud of, not records of failure, iyswim.
Oh yes, and LOTS of fruit and veg to make it all nice and soft and smooth-flowing...
Good luck!

Thanks clarexbp . Will try the 4 in a week thing and not worry about it being in a row. I had been waiting till bath time as that's when the pants come off and we can be sure they've been clean all day. There have been times when he's had clean pants after a poo and then later in afternoon there's been an accident.

GP gave us lactulose. I did suggest that my mumsnetter advisors had said movicol was best. But GP said Lactulose was easier to measure.

So am going to give him it at bed time and hope to get him into a morning habbit. I may need to give it morning and night if one dose a day isn't enough.

Once he's been having it for a week I'll start a chart again.

Hi there! Really glad I found this thred! My son is the same, he is 6, we tried the st,icker charts etc, mainly a problem at school, I went to the dr about it and we now go to a specialist who put ds on movicol which seems to have done the trick, we do still have the odd accident, the nac is and I no it's hard is not to loose your temper it makes the situation a whole lot worse, also we had to completely go threw toilet training again, getting him to sit on the toilet 20 mins after every meal, even if he didn't do a poo it was to train his brain and guts, sounds mad I no but it really has worked,
I totally understand how frustrating this is.