4 month old - sleeping nightmare!

[newmummyrollercoaster]

Hi,

I'm new to Mumsnet (and have never posted on a forum before) and in desperate need of some advice. My little boy is 19 weeks and for the past couple of weeks has massively regressed when it comes to sleeping. For the first few months he was a dream and we were feeling a bit smug that we had such a good baby who never cried and slept really well (he was waking once for a feed and that's it). But oh how times change! Firstly he had a major growth spurt then had a bad cold all of which has resulted in his sleep and feeding being all over the place. Last night we were up 12 times with him (3 feeds and the rest to settle him). It's the needing to settle him which is the worst and we don't know what to do about it? We are both absolutely exhausted.

I'm breastfeeding and since he was born, he's always fallen asleep after his 7pm feed so I've just transferred him straight to his cot. I think this is the problem - he's never had to learn to self soothe as I've never needed to put him to bed awake/sleepy. We've given him a dummy in the past few days which helps a bit with settling him but of course he cries when it falls out so this isn't great either.

I would really appreciate any advice on how we can settle him or teach him to self soothe... perhaps a cuddly toy in with him? Tight blankets rather than a grobag?

Thanks so much!

Hi. Sounds like your having a tough time of it at the moment. Please remember that your little one is still very little its not too late to learn to self soothe.
With both my dd ds and ds we started around 3/4months. We would put them down in their cot in a darkened room after a nice relaxing feed in the bedroom. Where possible awake. We would then sit with them ssh ing patting etc. Until they fall asleep. Eventually we would leave the room once they were used to it.
My dd was dream doing this but my ds has always been a little random with his acceptance of this. He's 16 months now and still won't regularly sleep through (sorry). I think it depends on your baby but consistency and as little stimulation as possible always helps.
Give it time though 4 months old is still so small and next week he will probably being doing something different. I do hope you gte more sleep, its the worst thing that sleep deprivation but it will et easier. Good luck.

Hi newmummy - you'll find a million of us with exactly the same problem on the Sleep forum under Body and Soul. Come join us!

Thank you! I've reposted in the right topic (sleep deprivation means my brain isn't working properly!). For the first time since he was born, I fed him earlier then did his bath and read him a book in a darkened room. He was sleepy so I rocked him a little bit then put him down. Hmm. He didn't like that at all and cried. Eventually rocked him to sleep. Still, it's a step in the right direction in that he didn't need food to sleep so that's one hurdle I guess!

I still feed to sleep (DS is 5 months) and probably will for a while because I'm crap at reading sleepy cues and it's really easy to get him asleep quickly. My problem was that I then needed to hold for ages before I could get him in his cot. The four month sleep regression is still ongoing here - I think, in the past two months, I've had exactly two nights where he's allowed me more than two hours of unbroken sleep. And, like yours, he started so incredibly well...

It will pass, it will pass, it will pass...