What is 'normal' for a 2 1/2 year old

[KD0706]

My husband thinks our toddler is particularly naughty. I think she's just being 2 1/2. I am a sahm and DH works quite long hours so most discipline etc is down to me.

I'll try and describe her fairly, it's hard though as I think she's wonderful.

She goes to playgroup where they think she is v good.
She is sociable and generally good at sharing. When we are out at groups, soft play etc nine times out of ten I can catch her eye when she's doing something she shouldn't, and waggle my finger and she stops.

She often needs carried protesting out of fun places. I count to three to warn her to stop doing things. She sometimes complies but often doesn't and I have to remove her from situations, take things away etc.

Some days feel like constant battles. She seems at times incapable of recognising that there are consequences. Eg I tell her if she doesn't stop throwing a toy I'll take it away, she continues, then I take it away and it's like the worlds ended.

I pick my battles some days so it's not just constant 'no no no' at her.

She whines a lot at me.

She also has lots of lovely habits etc but I think this gives a flavour of what DH has an issue with.

Id just appreciate posts saying either 'it's normal' or telling me that I need to pull my socks up w parenting her.

Maybe I should also mention she behaves much better out places so I think DH sees the worst of her at home.

I hope it's normal, I have 2 year old twins and that sounds about right! apparently when they turn 3 they magically become well behaved

Nope, I'd say perfectly normal. I have exactly the same with my DD who is 2.5 but i wouldn't say she is naughty. She is amazingly lovely most of the time.

she sounds very like my just 3 year old. I think she is normal but hard work, DH thinks she is a delinquent

It' possible you are being inconsistent so some days strict with the no no no and other times you let it go.
It's all about the warning if you ask me. And always the same thing. If you say no about chewing the remote control then you also need to be strict about waving it like a wand.

Always give a reason

Use a different voice for discipline.

I never had a problem with either of mine, until DD started school and then I would say it was caused more by tiredness than anything else. DS is 2 1/4 and just isn't naughty at all. Possibly because he sees sanctions for his older sis!

They go through stages of pushing boundaries.

sleepless SNAP!

Normal. :)

Your description could be of my DD (2.9) so I'd say normal as all the things you mention I struggle deal with on a daily basis.

One thing we particularly have trouble with is leaving fun places. I recently had to shame myself by getting DD off a bouncy castle in front of a huge crowd of sniggering people when she ignored the calls to get off as her time was up! There is no dignity to be had when trying to be serious and strict whilst wrestling a screaming, child off a bouncy castle!

I think it's just their way of testing boundaries but its exhausting and I know exactly what you mean about feeling you are saying no all day!

I wonder how common it is, sleepless and sossiges for the DHs to think a toddlers behaviour is beyond the pale.
I think part of the issue is that I see lots of other toddlers every day to compare dd to. DH very rarely sees another toddler. And often when he does they are infuriatingly well behaved!!

Thanks for your post with tips shattered
I do think she is at a pushing boundaries stage. Repeat ad infinitum 'this too shall pass'!!

My 2.4yo is exactly like this too!

And DH is convinced that she has a behavioural problem. I told him he's right - her problem is she's a toddler

I think our problem is that we both work full time, so at the weekend we have a lot to cram in, and it's just too much for her. Everyone who looks after her during the week (mixture of nursery and family) says that she's really well behaved and a lovely sunshine girl, but we only get glimpses of that at home. I suppose because she can 'relax' at home.

I totally agree with the energy-sapping will of an assertive toddler. And yes, hopefully, 'this too shall pass'

Yes, sounds the same as my dd at 2.4yo. I call her 'spirited' - either great fun or whailing as if the world has ended can usually be diverted pretty quickly! She's extremely bold and has no fear- I much prefer this to her being as painfully shy as I was as s pre-schooler!

I think your dh needs to meet more toddlers.

Sounds pretty much like my 2 1/2 year old!! He's lively, funny and sociable but prone to the odd unreasonable moment...

Leaving fun places is always a sticky point, I give a warning which sometimes works other times we leave with him under my arm screeching!

Completely normal to me, both mine have been same aswell as just about every toddler I've ever met

Sounds very normal to me! How many 2-year-olds does your DH know well enough to place your DD on the naughtiness scale?

Your DH sounds like mine OP! DS is younger (22mo) but trying to get my DH to understand that his behaviour is normal is a constant battle.

Sounds like DD at that age BUT I think I could have been a bit more strict with her. At the same time 2 is a bit difficult period so I wouldn't really want to judge naughtiness til the child is 3-4-then you can sort of tell whether parents are making sure she behaves well iyswim.

Byt yeah, pretty standard behaviour, I would say.

Sounds just like my DS, who has just hit 2.5. He can be lovely, but he can also be infuriating! Sometimes I can see that he's just doing things to test and see how Mummy will react - he almost looks at me as he does it! Things we have constant trouble with are: sitting properly at the table (DS is very tall and now sits on a grown up chair) - i.e not lying on his chair, not turning round; jumping on the sofa/bed - he'll start doing this and then get annoyed when he gets told off; remembering to go to the potty when he's busy playing - we have to use a lot of bribery/threats!; getting off the swing in the garden when ordered to.

He's just started maternelle (Belgian kindergarten) full time, and has also decided to stop napping, so a lot of his behaviour can be put down to tiredness by the end of the day. He can be lovely, but often quite challenging. I don't see much difference between him and other toddlers his age though. In fact, next to some, he seems very well behaved!

Another one for normal - and I agree - your DH needs to meet more toddlers - best option would be to go and stay with someone with a similar age child - short visit won't work
with leaving fun places - what can help and certainly does with slightly older children is a count down - so we are going in 5 mins dd, then 3, then 1 min - also something positive to go to - seeing someone or even maybe - not every time - a reward - snack when the car that kind of thing