Do you 'discipline' your 14 month olds? If so how?

[Dizzymama]

Dd is 14 months now and is starting that hitting / biting everything (constantly!) phase, I know it's natural but I've also been told she understands what no means. I've tried saying no in a firm voice and i've tried putting her away from me for a few seconds but she just seems to find this hilarious I don't want her to grow up thinking this sort of behaviour is acceptable or funny so...what do you do?

[beansprout]

Completely ignore it. "No" is a reaction and they like those. What works with ds is the message "it is really boring for you when you hit me". I just turn and so something else. He gets upset but then becomes interested in what I am doing again and when he does we do lots of "Mummy likes it when we play together nicely" kind of stuff.

[Kidstrack2]

just keep doing as you are doing(and i know it is sooo cute and funny but try not to laugh at dd as it will encourage her to keep doing it)removing her from whatever she is biting and saying firmly NO

[Blu]

She may well understand what' no' means, but i don't think 14 month olds have the developmental capacity to actually obey it!
At this age they are programmed to overcome any barrier or setback in their way. How else would they learn to walk - given that they tumble so often!
For hitting and biting, I think you are doing the right thing.
Just say 'no hitting' or 'no biting' in a firm but low key voice, whilst putting her down or away from you and completely ignoring her for a minute or so. Do it immediately, and try very hard not to react to being bitten. Any 'ow' is like a cabaret show to her!
It's really really common at this age - she is not on course to be a wildcat

[Dizzymama]

Thank you it's good to know I'm not alone! I think I'm still in shock that she's suddenly this little wilful madam (whom I love dearly I hasten to add!) - I thought she'd be adorable constantly till two when I'd be ready for her personality coming through!!!

[starlover]

i do what you do with my 13 month old.
he KNOWS that there are certain things he isn't allowed to do. he has a certain "laugh" that he does which means he's about to do something naughty! lol so at least I get a warning.

aynway, i say no, remove him from the situation and then prevent him from doing it again.
he soon gets bored and finds something else to do

[papaya]

hi dizzy mama, i have just bought a toddler book so i can understand the behaviour to to expect from certain ages etc (my dd also 14mo) and biting hitting etc is apparantly a form of this age group venting frustration as they cant express themselves properly. (is book by dr sears good behavior book) I started to try and discipline dd but book said they are too young for discpline, just say no and then use distraction as your technique. I think sears mentions is being around 2year old when distration is no longer appropraite and discipline has to be implemented....as then they have the capability to understand more.
difficult i know, coz dd has bit me a few times and it really hurt!

hth

[TaiTai]

Hi Dizzymama

Firstly, there is a current thread I'm on started by someone who is despairing of her baby constantly scratching and biting her; you may find it interesting, so I'll try and find the link for you. I've got a 13 month old who has just recently stopped biting and scratching me and my husband.

In answer to your question, yes you can discipline a 14 month old, but I mean 'discipline' in it's very loosest sense. Doing what you're doing is discipline - it's showing your baby cause and effect and getting her used to you saying "no" to her. It's also good discipline for you - practice for when she's older, in the same way that one chats to a very small baby and all the while the baby is subconsciously taking in some of the words you use and the emotions you express. Besides, I find it constructive to have a way of dealing with my baby scratching and biting as it makes me feel less frustrated (it's rather depressing when you're walking around with a scratch from your darling baby!)

Try not to worry about her laughing - we have had to say "no" (firmly but calmly) to our dd (who's now 13 months) re scratching and biting us for several months now; often in the beginning she would laugh. Now however she's practically stopped. As I said in the other thread, what worked for us - it seems - is showing dd how we WOULD like to be touched. So when she scratched and bit, we would "no" firmly and clamly, shake our heads so she associates a gesture with the "no", and put her down and try and distract with a song or toy. But I think the key was that we would also say "gentle" and put her flat palm against our faces, then let her do it herself and praise her and smile, so she knew she could touch us but that it had to be in a certain way. She understands "clever girl" (and often spontaneously gives herself a clap when I saw this as I usually clap her when she's clever) and she understands "no". She also - finally! - understands "gentle" and will now touch me in this way without being prompted. I really wanted to show dd how to touch appropriately as I was very worried about her scratching and biting other children.

[TaiTai]

Hi, here's the link to the other thread I mentioned.

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=8&threadid=157884&stamp=060324095314\link}

[staceym11]

i used to time dd out when she was doing something dangerous, but if just naughty id tell her no and mvoe her, if she persisted it'd be time out. some people think this is going a bit far (1 min on my lap) from the age of about 11 month. but it worked and if she tries now all i have to say is uh-uh-uh or no and she goes off to do something else instead!

[Dizzymama]

Oops, sorry, just checked my thread again and realised there were messages Thank you all for your answers, Papaya, the book sounds interesting and I think I will look that up, TaiTai thank you also for the link, will get reading now! StaceyM, I have a friend who uses a similar approach of time out and it works well for her too, I shall persevere, take on board new ideas and see what happens!! Thank you all x