20m DS just started nursery...WWYD...

[bigbasketapples]

My 20m DS just started nursery. He's had a nanny for the past year, three-four mornings a week until his sleep at 1. I work at home so see him all the time.

We intended to put him in two full days at nursery and cut back on nanny two mornings. Each time we've taken him (since the second day) he's cried when we've handed him over. Sobbed. When we called ten minutes later, he's apparently fine and playing. I know this is normal but it is utterly heartbreaking to hand him over crying...the nursery is excellent, btw, and I've no qualms about the quality of care.

However, since he's started, we've realised that full days might be far too much. That's what I now feel - and we've been picking him up at around 3.30.

We;re thinking of cutting back to only mornings - so he comes home for 1.

We feel this might be enough.

But how much of it is our initial feelings about handing him over crying...I don't know.

So - how long would you leave it before you decide? How long did your DC take to settle etc?

And am I nuts thinking of changing things so soon after embarking? I can afford to be flexible with work.

FWIW Im not sure less time at nursery necessarily makes the adjustment easier as they have less time to gte used to being there whcih can make it harder rather than easier on them. I dont know how long hes been going from your post but I would give it a good go - maybe 6-8 weeks, especially if he seems ok in the day generally?

If you are worried - and its horrible to leave your child crying - ask them to email or text you a photo of him enjoying himself once he calms down. That always helped me feel better. Or maybe there's somewhere from where you can have a peek and reassure yourself he is ok once he's gotten over you leaving.

With our girl we try to keep goodbyes pretty matter of fact and upbeat rather than getting tearful myself and when I pick her up I spend a bit of time going round what shes been up to with her. She does cry first few times back after holidays but generally is a happy bunny about going now.

but do what you feel comfortable with

Thanks both - yes I do realise crying at handover and shorter days are two different issues...

DS still cries at handover after 9 months of nursery but also at home when Someone leaves. He stops almost immediately. He spends long days at nursery but only twice a week but sometimes I think he'd prefer to be there than at home!