My toddler isn't talking!

[GinaAr]

I have to say this is all new territory for me, I have 2 girls and their speak and words were amazing by 2, counting upto 10 and repeating or sounding out words we would say.
However my 28 month old son isn't saying hardly anything, sure he can say NO! and mine! but he cant say more than 2 words put together (either that or he doesn't want too)
But but even the words he can say together for example good boy, when he's done a wee on the potty, he'll say it like "bub boy" I know not to expect miracles when they are young but I just wondered if anybody else had the same dilemma?
Georgina

Hi, I know how you feel and I am sure other parents will come over and chat to you about their experience. I have two boys and the first one spoke absolutely fine and his language developed well, vocab and pronounciation.

First, I don't think it 'means' anything. It doesn't mean that you haven't spoken to him enough, or that he's watched too much telly, or that he's had a dummy. Some children develop other skills before they start speaking, and it's well within the 'normal' range.

Some other parents will probably say that their child started speaking later, but in full sentences, and that your child will catch up soon. That is true in many situations, but not all.

There are lots of resources online to help you understand how language develop and how to help your child's language skills develop but the fact is, there are no magic potion.

One book that I really liked is 'It Takes Two to Talk'. It's quite expensive but you can get it from library. If they don't have it you can ask them to order it for a fee. It's very helpful.

One trick that was given to me ages a go is to try and spend 10-15 minutes a day one-to-one, with no distraction, music, radio etc, and sit down on the floor and 'comment' on your child's play. It's hard as you will feel that it is a monologue.

Also, it's important to speak in very short sentences, three words, and repeat a key word. 'Want Milk? Milk? MMMM... Cold Milk' etc. I know it sounds very silly, but it's much easier for a child to process that information and repeat it rather than saying 'would you like a class of milk?' I hope that makes sense...

Encourage him to make sounds - airplane sounds, car sounds, animal noises. Very simple and easy one syllable sound.

Don't ask 'please say MILK. Say MILK'. Just give your child the time to answer.

Have you tried signing a few words? There are lots of resources online for Makaton signs. It might help him to not get frustrated if you can uderstand him. Some key words that I used loads is 'all gone, more, milk, finish, go'.

A nice game to play is to blow bubbles, and say 'Ready Stready.... GO' and the second time, give your child the time to try and say GO. Praise him for any sounds that he makes.

Another tip (sorry this has to be the longest message ever) try to repeat sounds that he makes. Any sound, either grunting, babbling sounds, anything. It's a very simple way to tell him that you are listening to him.

Website that I like www.ican.org.uk , and www.talkingpoint.org.uk.

One last thing, have you had his hearing tested? It might be worth talking to your GP about this just to be sure that his hearing is ok.

Oh I meant to say that my second son didn't start speaking before 3 and he has a severe speech disorder so I have read loads on the subject...

My brother didn't speak and was referred to a SALT.

They discovered he could and would speak if only me and my mum stopped talking for a bit

My didn't speak really in sentences until 2 1/2 and due to frustration would often lash out aggressively was nightmare the judgement you get.

I found that trying to get them to copy you worked eventually he still has a speech impediment.

My son isn't really talking much either. He has certain words (car, tractor, cat, boobie (dar, dadar, aaaa, doodie)) but none of them are understandable unless you know what he is talking about. Everything has a d.. sound at the beginning and they all sound like each other, iyswim. He's just two and has a SALT assessment today. I will report back later if you like to see what they say.

My eldest daughter had speech delay. She was 2y9m before she uttered a sound and then, it was just mumbo jumbo. Only we knew what she was saying. She didn't get into speech therapy until she was 5, due to us moving, we got near the top of one list, then moved and ended up at the bottom of another. But by Year 1 she was saying proper words, I think that learning to read in Reception Class, helped her pronunciation. She is 14 now and has a great vocabulary and you would never know about her speech difficulties except she has a slight lisp. She also had learning difficulties in primary school but now in her 3rd year at secondary school, she is doing great.

I Know it may seem that speech delay won't ever right itself, but, in my experience it does.

Thank you for all the input ladies :)
My son knows exactly what I'm saying and some

Sometimes he's right on the edge of saying a word but then he stops and walks away, its strange but it's like he can say it but doesn't want too?!
I do repeat words to him and he will say moo when I say moo cow, but he refuses to say the 'word' cow, he's happy to do the sounds though.
He gets frustrated when he wants things so it turns into a guessing game!
My older daughters encourage him to speak and he gets me for 6 hours while the girls are at school.
I will go and have a chat to the health visitor I think first, I don't want to come across as an over baring parent!

Thanks pasha I'd appreciate that x

I've heard that second (or subsequent) children are often later to speak as they have others (siblings, parents) who can anticipate their needs and wants so well. So they don't have that driving desire to use speech for communication as early as first children do.

Yes Iv heard this too however I think it's just an individual thing, my second daughter was the same as my first in almost every way really, itching to talk and play, brilliant imagination, happy to play with anyone, she'll certainly get her point across and will not let her older sister (who is almost 5 years older than her) say or do anything for her!
You think you know it all by the third and wasn't I wrong!
Ill keep smiling :)

My ds didn't really start talking until 3, he has just started school and still needs support with pronunciation as he isn't really understandable, although vocal is good. People keep telling me boys are slower at developing. You may have to fight to get speech and language support, I know I did.

I did go on a few courses with my ds, one called "You make the difference". Basically they teach parents strategies to help their children speak. Good luck and don't panic, one of the most reassuring things I heard was a friend saying "I don't know any 20 year olds who can't talk, walk and wipe their own bum" lol. I'm sure he will get there in his own time!

Thanks Cinnamonpreztel I appreciate your words of comfort! :)

Sorry I wasn't able to come back last night. DS's assessment yesterday seemed to go well. The Speech Therapy Assistant who did it had some toys on the floor for him while I answered some questions about how he is socially, developmentally, any factors at home, any family history of speech problems etc. (Very good with other people, hit all his milestones appropriately, no unknown factors at home, DH had some therapy as a 5yr old for mispronounciations) She asked if he babbled (no, not really, but does a lot now).

The upshot was that they would like him to be saying a lot more but he has no risk factors for anything scary so he is probably just a very slow talker. As he is starting to make more varied sounds and does gesture, get my attention, make eye contact, plays happily around other children, he is on the bottom rung of the pyramid where the top is speech. We came to the conclusion he is just content to take his own time (lazy boy, said my MIL ).

She is making an appointment for 3 months time with a therapist where we can start proper therapy is little progress is made or we can cancel if it all comes together before then and she gave me some strategies which she said we mostly do anyway.

Model the word - he hands me a car, I say car

Use one step above him in language terms -
if he says nothing I say one word 'car',
if he uses one word 'car', I say two words 'red car', 'DS car'
if he uses two words 'my car', 'red car', I add an action 'the red car is brumming', 'push the red car', etc

Aknowledge all forms of communication whether it be gesture, grunt, babble, whatever.

I'm going away now to look at the links Nottigermum gave upthread and hopefully by christmas we might have some improvement. I hope so, if not I know DS is 'in the system' and we can access help straight away.

I feel confident he will get it in his own time

Pasha, another really good book to give you ideas and to help them communicate - 'It Takes Two to Talk.' It's not cheap (about £35) but it's really excellent and well thought of etc

Oh yes I've heard about that one. I don't have a budget of £32 but maybe I can find a second hand one. Off to check the library online for that

I have put it on reserve at the library so hopefully not too long a wait.

dd is 28 months and has only just really started speaking in the last few weeks, before which she had a few words but mainly just sounds. She now comes out with 3 or 4 new words every day, which she then remembers and uses regularly. It's quite amazing to watch really, as DS started speaking at about 14 months and gradually built up (which I though was more normal). I was just getting to the point with DD where I was starting to wonder whether something might be going on when she just seemed to get it. She also immediately started making sentences. So from saying 'raaar' at a picture of a tiger a month ago, she now says 'look mummy, big tiger in book!'

She has a very chatty older brother so I think she just listened and learned and only started speaking when she was ready. Had she been my first child I would have been at SALT about 6 months ago, but I was a bit more relaxed this time...

I've heard that second (or subsequent) children are often later to speak as they have others (siblings, parents) who can anticipate their needs and wants so well. So they don't have that driving desire to use speech for communication as early as first children do.

That's one of the myths that makes me want to scream. Or merely grind teeth down to stumps.

To OP: I suggest chat to HV; odds are that you will get referred to a SLT who will (within a few months) do a quick initial screening assessment. They can chat to you then about basic ideas what to do to encourage speech, and assess if he really is all that behind.