21 month old behaviour

[milkyjo]

Today my 21 month old hit me so hard in the face my nose bled. With no signs of remorse after stern words/ fake crying (actually real tears as it did hurt loads!), whilst trying to stem the blood with my face over the kitchen sink I was being beaten up from behind by a smiling devil child. He has never shown any signs of being 'remorseful', I've tried confiscating toys which he happily gives to me, raising my voice to which he smiles, distraction to which he wants to carry on doing the wrong things and nothing seems to work. I will happily ignore and he does stop, but will this teach him that hitting is ok as he will hit me over and over again until he gets bored? He is too young for the naughty spot and I just don't think he'll stay there. Does anybody have any suggestions as I'm at my wits end - I really would like to nip this in the bud! Thanks.

I don't think children that young understand remorse. You just have to be firm with your no that's not nice/move him away/ignore idea and lay the praise thick when he is being nice

There is no way my 21MO would be sorry for anything. Anything naughty is hilarious.

She does say 'sad' if she sees someone cry. She might try to cuddle them, but I think that's a learned thing rather than genuine concern, IYSWIM?

Watching with interest - my DS (20mo) has been known to do similar. Laughs in my face if I do a 'stern voice'.
The only time it has had any effect was one day, I had horrendous morning sickness and he smacked me (with a degree of prior intent obvious) hard in the face. I really, really shouted at him and shamefully totally lost my temper. He did a cry I have never heard before - like he was frightened. Made me feel horrendous for shouting like that.

Dd2 (same age) doesn't show remorse yet. She looks a bit subdued if she anyone cries near her but in general she doesn't seem to care. Even when ramming into your legs with a toy pram or car.

I will add he does it for attention and smiles as he does it and thinks it's a game. Although sometimes, like today, he actually was in a rage! He gets lots of praise when he is good but I don't want him to think he is allowed to do this and then in a few months time suddenly be reprimanded for it because he's reached that magic 2 years mark! Would that not be even more confusing for him? Do you think even if I ignore him as he's doing it or move away he will eventually learn it doesn't get the attention and stop doing it completely. I worry that he'll turn into a big bully and think its ok to hit as mummy doesn't do anything!

if a baby smacks me, then I put it down.

They usually cry but I ignore it for a few seconds and then try picking them up again. Any kind of smacking, and down the go again.

There is not much you can do apart from ignore at that age. They all do it, they really don't know better. If you over-react then it will be fun for them to get a reaction.

Hope your face is feeling better now.

Ha ha I've just had a phone call from DH who told nursery about DS's hitting this morning and they reported he is the most gentle and caring child they have there, rarely cries and is very considerate - I'm so proud - gloating! However, we still get beaten up at home. The way forward is to ignore then!

Sorry, forgot to say thank you to you all and glad he's not actually a devil child.....yet!