How do I help my daughter handle mean behaviour?

[wheresthebloodydogmummy]

My 3.5 year old is having a bit of a hard time with a little mate who's just turned 4. Lots of "you're not my friend" (at said girl's birthday party) and "I don't like you anymore" etc. Which is all fine, honestly (! blub blub) but I'm worried it's starting to affect my girl's confidence, as she's really quite kind and happy and absolutely loves her nursery days but is starting to get a bit wobbly and nervous when this other little one is around. I think this girl seeks her out a bit to give her a hard time. It just makes me sad! Any suggestions...

If this is happening at nursery then they need to get a handle on it...especially if the other child is seeking out your DD in order t be mean...that's bullying....and they need to talk to the other girl about being kind.

You can help DD by explaining that this other girl is looking for attention...and wants everyone to like her...but can't be kind all the time because she has not learned that yet.

Tell DD to avoid her and play with other children. Maybe invite some other kids to play.

Definitely raise it with the staff. They need to be watching the children closely, intervening when it happens, modelling appropriate responses for your DD and helping the other child to understand the effect her behaviour is having.

TBH there's not an awful lot you can do as a parent at home. It has to be someone who is present when it happens and can deal with it instantly.

Agree that the staff need to deal with this.

Agree with raising the issue with staff. I read on another thread a while ago a mum who taught her DS thecniques to combat bullying at school. The child was a bit older (around 4 or 5) but the mum would role play and show when the DC should be assertive e.g. No, I don't like that, or Don't do that. loudly enough to be heard by teachers and peers. There were other good sentences that I can't remember now but you could possibly look up fighting bullying, I'm sure thye have good defensive suggestion you could teach your child. Also teach her to recongise the signs and not to be afraid of bullies, not to be too naive and easily lurred into being mocked or becoming the scapegoat etc...