4month baby cries with strangers & now family :(

[breaghmum]

Help!!!

First time mum to 4 month old baby. Recently started crying when being held or in company of strangers. Has now started to be like this with family members who are familiar. Previously was great at going to others. Has anyone else experienced this at such a young age? Thought this more common in older babies?
Really dont know what to do except persevere with interaction with strangers & family for short bursts even though baby cries . Any other mummies got any tips???

If your baby is uncomfortable going to strangers then don't let them hold her. I wouldn't much like a cuddle from someone I had never seen! Sit her in between you and them on the sofa do she learns to feel more comfortable with others whilst still close to her mum

My 5mo has been doing this on and off for the past month. You just have to roll with it and give your baby lots of cuddles and reassurance. I wouldn't up the amount of time spent with strangers, since it's the baby's signal that s/he knows you and wants to be with you, not passed around the place. They're much less discriminating when they're very wee and this is normal.

sorry i may have been a bit unclear by saying strangers. I mean my friends who also have babies. It is always people i know not randoms. Just trying to go out together in a small group can be difficult. I have had her on my knee whilst close to others. Worst bit is baby wont let my mum pick her up or give her a cuddle.

It's a phase! It will pass in a few weeks. DD did this, cried every time DH or anyone else so much as touched her. She's now fine with him. Don't worry. I know of several children who went through this at exactly this age.

That's reassuring. Was just a bit worried cos she is so young & did not want it to get worse. Cheers! :)

Don't try and force her by 'getting her used' to other people - it'll just make her insecure. The fact that she now understands that you are her mummy and these other people aren't is a good sign and means you've bonded well. Babies and small children can only form a good bond with about four or five carers so there will be plenty of people she's not happy with!

Mine went through this at the same age. She's previously been fine with family and friends, some of whom she'd seen and been held by regularly since birth, then from one day to the next she decided she wouldn't go near them- even a smile from her gran halfway across the room was enough to make her explode.

To be honest we just rode it out and tried to teach her to become accustomed to them again. It took a few months. Every time we'd see her gran we'd try and make it sound like it would be a really fun visit, then we'd let her gran hold her for a short period and stay close at the same time, all the while continuing to chat to her and smiling. When she'd start to lose it (usually within less than a minute!) we'd move her to her playgym rather than trying to comfort her right away, because we didn't want her to think that she needed comforting after being cuddled by her grandmother and that ergo being cuddled by her G was bad.

I have no idea if what we did helped or she just grew out of it, but by 8 months she seemed ok!

My dd did this pretty much from birth, she would scream if anyone else so much as looked at her. I think my mil felt a bit put out at first, she grew out of it eventually. I was told it was really common and not to worry, unfortunately my dd was nearly 12months before she grew out of it.

My DD was exactly the same. It will pass, though I know it's hard at the time. She just knows her mum's fantastic, and sees everyone else as second-best

Thank u ladies. Milanese- Doing pretty much what you are saying already. Making some progress! She's fine in same room as my mum just need to work on the cuddle bit as you say. Hopefully it's just a short phase! :)

Really glad you're seeing some progress! I remember feeling so embarrassed at that stage and also terribly sorry for my MIL who just wanted to love her little granddaughter.

Good luck!