Hi,
Youngest daughter is two and a half. Up until the start of August she would absolutely not go to sleep without a parent in her room. It would often take 60-90 minutes and drove us spare. Nothing seemed to work in changing her behaviour.
At the beginning of August it suddenly seemed to change - we started leaving the door open and waiting outside, peeping in whenever she became distressed. After a little while of that she started to drift off herself. Shortly after that she ceased to care whether the door was open or not and would just go to sleep.
That happened just prior to our summer holiday and we were terrified that the disruption in routine would end the miracle. But it didn't - it carried on through our time away and then when we got back. We thought we had it cracked.
Then after a week and a half of glorious peace, it ended just as quickly as it began. We'd got into a little routine of holding hands for a few minutes before leaving the room, and one night she decided she "didn't want to" but then cried and raged when we left. We've refused to start staying in her room again, knowing she was psychologically ready to do without us, and that's where we are still now, two months later.
We don't know what's going on in her head. She seems to still want to hold hands - which would be fine - as when we persuade her to do it, she'll settle afterwards without fuss. It also seems to be more an issue of anger than genuine upset, as when we go upstairs to remonstrate with her - as we always end up doing - there's no sign she's been crying. She just screams and rages.
We're sick of it now. Her fury keeps her older sibling awake in the next room and now that school has started again, elder sister is having to go to class pale and exhausted. We've tried not going up, going up repeatedly, being calm, being angry, offering toys/lovies (she just throws them out of the cot), keeping her awake in the day but nothing seems to work.
Any ideas?
Cheers,
Matt