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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Omg! End of my friggin tether!

25 replies

broodylicious · 17/09/2012 01:58

So tonight dd is waking every 30 minutes - sleep 30 minutes, wake 30 minutes.... Since 1030pm. For the last eight weeks, she's been waking up to eight times a night, taking anywhere from two minutes to an hour to put back down so its fair to say we've grown used to crap nights but I am pretty much at breaking point right now. To top it off, DH just went to change her nappy and she did a big wee all over her baby grow and sleeping bag - she has another sleeping bag but guess what mummy washed at 6pm last night and so isn't anywhere near dry?! Grrrr!!

She is 25 weeks old today, ebf (well we started BLW on Tuesday actually so not quite ebf anymore!), doesn't have raised temperature, could be teething but not excessively bad, still "sleeps" in our room in a crib, room is baby-friendly temperature (same as its been since she was 2 days old), is alert and happy.... She doesn't really do daytime napping which I know can affect nighttime sleeping but really this much?!

Why is it that everyone else's baby of this age is sleeping through?! Our version of a good night would honestly be her waking three or four times between 8pm and 6am!!

I am totally at the end of my tether with this now. Would it be daft to go see a doctor? All the HVs I've mentioned this to in the last eight weeks just say we should do CIO which we are completely against. I just don't know what to do :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

sleepingbunnies · 17/09/2012 02:03

I could never leave my DD1 to cry it out - she was awful at sleeping. In fact she didn't start sleeping through the night til well over 2yrs of age. I remember breaking down at work once through sheer exhaustion :-(

Sorry, I have no useful tips for you just wanted you to know that you are not alone and it will pass!

My DD2 slept through from birth. Ebf - man I longed for her to wake up to give me some relief from my rock solid boobs!!

You can never win eh?!

HaveringGold · 17/09/2012 02:34

Oh lord I had one of those! I remember going ever so slightly mad and even kept a notebook of all the times he woke to see if I could find a pattern I plan to give them to him on the birth of his first child!

I have no magic cure - a dummy made it worse, in my opinion and we eventually did pick up, put down when he was about a year but that only got us to 3 or 4 wakings. Then at 18 months, it stopped! Sleep is still always the first thing to go if he is ill or worried (he's 6) but those first months were hell!

I also had DC2 who slept through at 2 months - never did anything different with her and of course use to panic because by then for me a baby sleeping was just not 'normal'!

JollyJumper · 17/09/2012 13:15

I think your DD could have hit the first big developmental leap (between 4 and 5 months), you could look up Wonder Weeks that gives you a good idea of what to expect. CIO before 6 months is really not recommmended can't believe your HV advised you to do that (?!). The NHS webpage says not before 6 months at least and in many countries such as France, Germany, Switzerland the opinion is not to try sleep training before 1 year! All they want is their mummy, it's far easier to give in than fight it, just lay next to her.
I can hear my neighbour's kid being sleep trained since months (maybe years I just moved in in June) and I don't undertsand how anyone can do that when it is clearly not working. The poor baby is crying for hours every night and probably collapsing from fatigue and exhaustion if not hunger....
We co-sleep, DS hangs on to my hair and as he can smell me close by it calms him down. He's now 17 months and is sleeping 12 hours every night since he's 1.
Also don't believe all the other mums pretending their new born is sleeping through. Very often it is a parody of the truth....

nickelcognito · 17/09/2012 13:27

25 weeks sleeping through?

they lie.

and if you've just started introducing food, if she's had some, she might be getting funny feelings in her tummy from digesting it.

it'll just be another growth spurt.

is there any possibility of her sleeping in with you? (just the babygrow) - that way you can feed her to sleep while you're sleeping yourself.

there are a couple of youtube videos on how to do it safely - I lie on my side with my arm hooked over her head (so it kind of holds her bum in place), while she feeds from the lowest boob.
it works quite well, and you don't have to worry about rolling over, because it's impossible to roll over from that position. (and it prevents your DP rolling into you, because your arm is a barrier)

sleepingbunnies · 17/09/2012 13:33

Who's to say people are lying about sleeping through? My DD2 slept through from BIRTH! No idea why! We must just be lucky!

JollyJumper · 17/09/2012 14:29

That's very helpful sleepingbunny!

madwomanintheattic · 17/09/2012 14:34

Ds1 was the same until I stopped bf at ten months. Then he slept through. I was sleep deprived and crazy, and he wouldn't drink out of anything except me (he had rsv and double pneumonia at ten weeks and developed a plastic aversion from the meds mask.) And he did it all day and all night. So I pulled the plug.

Some babies are just like this. Sorry!

nickelcognito · 17/09/2012 14:54

sleeping - definitely lucky
(i was just trying to make her feel better)

sleepingbunnies · 17/09/2012 15:13

Believe me I do know how awful it is having a baby that doesn't sleep.

Everyone's advice to me was to ignore her, put a gate on her door so she couldn't get out (I could never do this). I think you just find whatever works at the time. It's hell on earth being sleep deprived tho - you have my full sympathy OP

JollyJumper · 17/09/2012 15:19

I'm sorry I sounded quite b*tchy sleepy bunny but I don't understand how a new born can sleep through the night, so 8 or 12 hours when they need to feed every 2 hours... How does that work? The stomach of a new born is tiny, they are hungry all the time... Sorry I just don't get it.

PropositionJoe · 17/09/2012 15:21

My newborn used to wake once between 7 pm and 7am, initially around 2am. No lie.

Totobear · 17/09/2012 15:45

Hi,

Ok, you are not alone with this. The 4 month sleep regression is classic, and can apparently strike between 3 and 5 months. There doesn't seem much rhyme or reason to it but I know some mums whose babies were previously sleeping through are now all over the shop at approx 20 weeks.

It's supposedly due to their sleep cycles changing and also mental development. Whatever, it's tough being exhausted. I just try to scrape by and forgive myself when I do things like put the cereal in the fridge instead of the milk....(this morning).

Like you, I won't do CIO but I won't say it isn't bloody tempting sometimes!

Sorry, no major advice. So many flipping sleep books and no-one really has an answer.

JollyJumper · 17/09/2012 15:50

Well said Toto, my Ds was a pretty poor sleeper unitl 1 year! But when I met up with other mums I'd see babies who wouldn't eat, who wouldn't stand or walk etc... and I use dot say that sleeping is not his strong point but he had many others. Apparently the smart ones don't sleep very well!

Totobear · 17/09/2012 15:57

Well JollyJumper, my DS better be a frickin genius!

sleepingbunnies · 17/09/2012 15:58

jolly I didn't get it either! I used to try and wake her to get her to feed but she just wasn't interested. I was utterly amazed and even asked my GP if it was ok! We were just blessed with a good
Sleeper for our second I guess. She is now 11.5 months old happy as larry and only ever wakes if she is in pain with teeth.

Compared to her elder sister she is a dream :-)

nickelcognito · 17/09/2012 16:24

did she wake normally when it was time to wake and feed normally?

nickelcognito · 17/09/2012 16:26

Jolly - i think DD must be a genius - all the signs are there.
the dermatologist said the kids with eczema tend to be cleverer (I told him I was sure he was just humouring me), and obv if she doesn't sleep either, then that's just proof!
and she got her first teeth at 5months.

and she can turn pages in books by herself (and has been able to do so since she was about 17 weeks old)

JollyJumper · 17/09/2012 16:32

Mine learned to ride a scooter at 16 months and can say words in 3 differnet languages at 17... it's a fact! Bad sleepers are geniuses! Big grin emoticon....

ButtonBoo · 17/09/2012 16:43

It might be the introduction of food - indigestion? Is she having gassy foods? Broccoli? Cauliflower? Banana?

Poor naps during the day certainly affected my DD. I am in the 'sleep begets sleep' camp. Good routine with naps worked wonders for us.

Also you might want to google '4 month sleep regression'. Another MN mentioned it and it certainly made me realise that their sleep habits change. My Mum always said 'just as you think you've got it sorted, they'll throw the old routine out...' and she was right. Ice had to readjust DD's routine several times. She's 11mo now. I just needed to realise she was getting bigger and what worked when she was 3/6/9 months needs to be looked at every so often.

sleepingbunnies · 17/09/2012 17:28

Yup. When she decided she was hungry you knew about it! :-)

mewkins · 17/09/2012 21:35

Hiya,
CIO is different from controlled crying, gradual retreat, pick up put down and other things to help your baby sleep better. When dd was around the same age she was doing the same and it was getting worse. There was nothing wrong and she wasn't hungry (would often refuse a feed)...she was just sleeping for one sleep cycle and had no idea how to go back to sleep herself. She was crying 50pc of the night and tired and grouchy most of the day so actually doing pick up put down and helping her to get some quality sleep seemed like the much fairer option. Who would get a decent sleep if the woke every half an hour?

It worked well but of course involved crying as dd didn't know how to get to sleep on her own( I mean without us a prop- one of us stayed in the room with her). A few weeks down the line and she was getting good amounts of sleep and is now two yo and sleeps for England. Of course she may always have been a brilliant sleeper who just needed some guidance, who knows?

I would really read about different methods to see if you would like to make some changes. But it is best to go into it knowing that sleep training in any form requires absolute consistency and to make a plan of action before you start.
best of luck!

Original poster

broodylicious · 18/09/2012 11:06

mewkins - I think we defo need to get a plan together and stick to it for sure. I'd be interested in PUPD but I'd need to get "clearance"/buy in from DH before doing it, of course, so we are consistent. He's been reading the no cry sleep solution but I haven't got round to even starting it yet so we've not tried anything. We don't want to hear her crying but just like you, dd is only getting 30 minutes then waking and it's getting worse, plus struggling with daytime naps, so we have to do something before we end up going mental, setting her up for life as a bad sleeper or worst of all, start resenting her. I just feel so awful when she cries and I know it'll be hard for DH too. How long did it take for you to get her sorted?

OP posts:

sunshinemummy86 · 18/09/2012 18:13

Maybe it is the introduction of solids, 4/5 months is a little early, they say if you are doing BLW to wait until 6... Maybe hold off, or try purees?

Original poster

broodylicious · 18/09/2012 19:13

She's 6 months on Monday so we only started 2 weeks early and I made sure I checked with the HV first. There wasn't any way I'd have done it before then or if her issues were limited to waking twice or three times a night ....but that's a whole different discussion

OP posts:

mewkins · 18/09/2012 20:33

Hiya, sorry for slow reply. It got better each day but was probably two weeks or so to have sorted it and then we would do a dream feed and she was sleeping through. My friend is doing something similar at the mo and is seeing a gradual improvement. Yes definitely both need to agree... Dh would have nothing to do with it - he didn't think it would work etc so I did it on my own but actually that consistency was probably good as I did exactly the same each night. Incidentally, pupd was much more difficult for naps! Wasn't til a.few months later til dd would respnd to it for naps. Odd!
x

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